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asphaltcowgrrl) wrote2016-06-21 01:21 pm
asphaltcowgrrl) wrote2016-06-21 01:21 pm
Entry tags:
A to Z Challenge Chapter 8: Heartbroken (White Pine Original Fic)
Title: A to Z Challenge Chapter 8: Heartbroken
Fandom: White Pine original fiction
Pairing: Travis Murphy/Ethan McDowell
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1,732
Summary: Ethan confesses his sins.
Author’s Note: Written for the A to Z Challenge at 1_million_words. This (and the next) chapter has been written for some time now but I never managed to post. Sorry.
Continued from here.
Opening the door right then was both the easiest and hardest thing he’d ever done. Easiest because Travis was on the other side, waiting for him, and Ethan needed to see him like he needed to breathe. Hardest too because the next step was to spill his guts to the man he loved and shatter whatever image Murphy held of his husband to bits. Taking a deep breath, Ethan turned the knob and looked into the hallway.
Two sad, blue eyes looked back at him. Travis had a backpack slung over a shoulder and a frown on his face. “Hey,” he said, the corners of his mouth twitching upwards. “Can I come in?”
Relief rushed through Ethan at the sight of his husband. Stepping back, he held the door open. “Of course,” he said, taking Travis’ pack and giving him a kiss as he did. “Is this all you packed? I thought your mom said you were the over packing type?”
The first true smile of the night crashed across Travis’ lips. “Usually, I am. I overthink it like I do everything else and wind up taking everything instead of weeding out the unnecessary stuff. But…”
“But?” Ethan dropped the backpack onto the couch and watched a tuft of fur float into the room. Brennan must’ve been using the bag as a napping spot recently.
Travis shrugged. “But I wasn’t sure if I was going to say,” he said, looking away. “Or be allowed to stay,” he added, walking into the kitchenette.
Ethan followed. “You want a drink? There should be one beer and a couple of sodas in the fridge. I think there’s also half a burrito from last night.”
“Burrito?” Travis’ eyebrows lifted and Ethan chuckled. Some things never surprised him, Travis’ appetite being one of them.
“Yeah, from the place I was telling you about and actually,” he said, forcing himself to look up and meet Travis’ gaze, “they should still be open if you want to go grab some hot food?”
“I don’t know, I’m kind of stressed,” Travis admitted.
Nodding, Ethan held out his arms in a silent question. Travis moved forward and wrapped his arms around Ethan, holding him close. He rubbed the palms of his hands against Murphy’s back, comforting and calming as he hugged his husband. “We could bring it back and stash it in the fridge for later. At least there’d be food.”
Pulling back, Travis kissed Ethan’s forehead. “That actually makes sense, baby. Let’s go get some food, and then we can talk and hopefully eat.”
“Best suggestion I’ve heard all day.” He grabbed his room key and wallet and headed for the door.
“So,” Travis said, squeezing past Ethan and into the hall. “Is their food really as good as my Mama’s?”
He could hear the doubt in Travis’ voice. “I said it was almost as good as your mama’s cooking, Murphy,” Ethan laughed, poking his husband in the side. That Travis’ playful side had overruled his wariness was a good sign, one he hoped would last. “Nothing will ever top your mother’s cooking, but this comes damn close.”
“Well then, pick up your feet, detective. We got us some tacos to eat!”
Ethan set the bags of food onto the coffee table, cringing inwardly at the memory of Reid sitting there. He didn’t have a clue how he was going to tell Travis everything that he needed to say, but he’d figure it out as he went. The hardest part was getting started. It was all downhill from there.
“So,” Travis said, returning from his foray into the kitchen to retrieve plates. “What did you need to tell me that you couldn’t say over the phone?”
The look on Travis’ face was hopeful, even if his eyes betrayed his worry. Sighing, Ethan handed Travis his bundle of food – two tacos, two flautas, a burrito, and a handful of assorted condiments – and opened his mouth. The words flowed out of him easier than he’d expected and, in telling the story, he felt some of the weight lift off his shoulders. Watching Travis’ face as he spoke, he could tell that he should have owned up to all of this sooner, but he’d done his best to put Reid Farrow out of his mind when he left Minden Lake. Bringing him up around Travis had felt like setting himself up for failure, so he’d remained silent.
Kind of like Travis was right now.
“Murph? Are you okay?” Ethan felt his heart pounding in his chest. The way Travis was staring at him had Ethan worried, but he refused to give in to nerves until he knew for sure that they were over as a couple. “Please say something or hell, take a bite of your taco. Let me know you’re not going to storm out of here.”
Slowly, Travis lifted one taco al pastor to his mouth and took a giant bite. Chewing, he muttered around his mouth of food, “Happy?”
Ethan made a face. “Not particularly, baby. You could have done one or the other, I didn’t need the eating and the speaking to be simultaneous.”
Murphy chewed and swallowed, laughing the entire time. “Sorry,” he muttered. “Betcha thought you’d cured me of that bad habit.”
“I’d hoped,” Ethan agreed, handing Travis a napkin.
Travis took it and wiped his mouth. Tossing the napkin onto the table, he stood, digging in his pocket. “I guess that I don’t have to ask you about this now.”
The world swam as that gold band Ethan never wanted to see again landed on the table between them. He reached for it, and then stopped. “Where did you find this?”
“Is it what I think it is,” Travis asked, sitting down and resuming the annihilation of his dinner.
That Travis went right back to his taco was a good sign. The only time Murphy didn’t eat was when he was upset and, considering the way Travis destroyed that pork filled tortilla, he was still holding it together. “Yeah, it is,” Ethan said, giving in to the urge and picking up the bit of golden deceit.
“It was in that wooden box of yours in our bedroom,” Travis said, drawing the words out slowly. “I was looking for the silver cufflinks I got you for our anniversary. My parents are going to a fancy dinner in Minden Lake and I thought my pop might like to wear them, but I couldn’t find them. I searched everywhere…”
“Including the box,” Ethan finished for him. “Makes sense to me. Oh, and I have the cufflinks with me, you dope, that’s why you couldn’t find them.”
“Really?” Travis crunched a tortilla chip and thought for a moment. “You know, I think I remember you saying that you were taking them. Geez, why couldn’t I have remembered that then?”
“Because you were on a mission for your mother,” Ethan chuckled. “Remind me and I’ll give them to you to take home. So, what did you think when you found this?” He held the ring up, causing Travis to frown.
“I didn’t know what to think, especially after the way you acted when I called to find out where the damn cufflinks had gotten off to.”
Shit. “Trav,” Ethan said, feeling the blood drain from his face. “Reid was here when you called, that’s why I was so distracted.
That handsome face crumpled in on itself. “Why the fuck was he here, Ethan?”
“Travis,” he said, using the ‘calm Murphy’ tone he’d perfected over the year plus they’d been together. As much as he loved this boy, he was prone to histrionics at times. Although, no one could blame him for a bit of drama right now. “He’s been driving me crazy, showing up uninvited and trying to shoehorn himself back into my life.”
“Did you tell him you were married?”
“Every chance I got,” Ethan assured him. “Jordan even did the same, but Reid is even more hard headed than you are, Murph. He’s not listening, although I’m not buying what he’s selling either.”
“Promise?” The one word was full of hurt and fear and hope.
“Of course I promise,” Ethan said, feeling like hell for hurting Travis like this. “I spent too much time alone before I met you to ever want to go back. Even my time with Reid was more solitary than it wasn’t.”
The corners of Travis’ mouth twitched as if uncertain whether he should smile or not. “So, you agree that I am the most awesome husband ever to live?”
“For the love of god, Travis,” Ethan half laughed, half shouted. “Are you mad at me or not?”
“Not,” Travis said, wrapping his arms around Ethan’s neck. “But I can’t say that any of this makes me very happy, E.”
Ethan ran his fingers through his hair, sighing profoundly. “I know, Murph, and I can’t blame you one bit. Do you think you can still trust me, even after I lied to you?”
“Well,” he said, making the short word into multiple syllables. “I suppose.”
“Has anyone ever told you that you can be a right asshole?” Ethan stuffed a chip into his mouth, crunching loudly.
Travis grinned. “Look, I don’t like that you kept that from me, but I get it. Especially with how it ended. Can’t say I’d have been running around telling any prospective boyfriends that my last relationship was a crash and burn of epic proportions.” He shook his head, eyes full of sympathy for Ethan’s past heartache.
“I’m thinking that somewhere in there, you’ve forgiven me?” Dear god, please let him say yes.
“There’s nothing to forgive, E. I mean, it wasn’t even legal at the time, right?” Ethan shook his head. “Perfect. That means it doesn’t count and I’m forever your first and only husband.”
Ethan let the relief wash over him. Travis’ words were exactly what he’d needed to hear. Although he knew that he’d have to be extra careful about what he kept secret and what he made public between then, Ethan figured it was worth the effort to disclose even the difficult things. “You’re the only husband I’ll ever need, Murphy.”
“Damn Skippy, McDowell.”
“Stay with me tonight,” Ethan asked, knowing the answer, but terrified he was wrong.
“I thought you’d never ask,” Travis replied, kissing Ethan’s mouth like it was the first time all over.
Continues here.
Fandom: White Pine original fiction
Pairing: Travis Murphy/Ethan McDowell
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1,732
Summary: Ethan confesses his sins.
Author’s Note: Written for the A to Z Challenge at 1_million_words. This (and the next) chapter has been written for some time now but I never managed to post. Sorry.
Continued from here.
Opening the door right then was both the easiest and hardest thing he’d ever done. Easiest because Travis was on the other side, waiting for him, and Ethan needed to see him like he needed to breathe. Hardest too because the next step was to spill his guts to the man he loved and shatter whatever image Murphy held of his husband to bits. Taking a deep breath, Ethan turned the knob and looked into the hallway.
Two sad, blue eyes looked back at him. Travis had a backpack slung over a shoulder and a frown on his face. “Hey,” he said, the corners of his mouth twitching upwards. “Can I come in?”
Relief rushed through Ethan at the sight of his husband. Stepping back, he held the door open. “Of course,” he said, taking Travis’ pack and giving him a kiss as he did. “Is this all you packed? I thought your mom said you were the over packing type?”
The first true smile of the night crashed across Travis’ lips. “Usually, I am. I overthink it like I do everything else and wind up taking everything instead of weeding out the unnecessary stuff. But…”
“But?” Ethan dropped the backpack onto the couch and watched a tuft of fur float into the room. Brennan must’ve been using the bag as a napping spot recently.
Travis shrugged. “But I wasn’t sure if I was going to say,” he said, looking away. “Or be allowed to stay,” he added, walking into the kitchenette.
Ethan followed. “You want a drink? There should be one beer and a couple of sodas in the fridge. I think there’s also half a burrito from last night.”
“Burrito?” Travis’ eyebrows lifted and Ethan chuckled. Some things never surprised him, Travis’ appetite being one of them.
“Yeah, from the place I was telling you about and actually,” he said, forcing himself to look up and meet Travis’ gaze, “they should still be open if you want to go grab some hot food?”
“I don’t know, I’m kind of stressed,” Travis admitted.
Nodding, Ethan held out his arms in a silent question. Travis moved forward and wrapped his arms around Ethan, holding him close. He rubbed the palms of his hands against Murphy’s back, comforting and calming as he hugged his husband. “We could bring it back and stash it in the fridge for later. At least there’d be food.”
Pulling back, Travis kissed Ethan’s forehead. “That actually makes sense, baby. Let’s go get some food, and then we can talk and hopefully eat.”
“Best suggestion I’ve heard all day.” He grabbed his room key and wallet and headed for the door.
“So,” Travis said, squeezing past Ethan and into the hall. “Is their food really as good as my Mama’s?”
He could hear the doubt in Travis’ voice. “I said it was almost as good as your mama’s cooking, Murphy,” Ethan laughed, poking his husband in the side. That Travis’ playful side had overruled his wariness was a good sign, one he hoped would last. “Nothing will ever top your mother’s cooking, but this comes damn close.”
“Well then, pick up your feet, detective. We got us some tacos to eat!”
Ethan set the bags of food onto the coffee table, cringing inwardly at the memory of Reid sitting there. He didn’t have a clue how he was going to tell Travis everything that he needed to say, but he’d figure it out as he went. The hardest part was getting started. It was all downhill from there.
“So,” Travis said, returning from his foray into the kitchen to retrieve plates. “What did you need to tell me that you couldn’t say over the phone?”
The look on Travis’ face was hopeful, even if his eyes betrayed his worry. Sighing, Ethan handed Travis his bundle of food – two tacos, two flautas, a burrito, and a handful of assorted condiments – and opened his mouth. The words flowed out of him easier than he’d expected and, in telling the story, he felt some of the weight lift off his shoulders. Watching Travis’ face as he spoke, he could tell that he should have owned up to all of this sooner, but he’d done his best to put Reid Farrow out of his mind when he left Minden Lake. Bringing him up around Travis had felt like setting himself up for failure, so he’d remained silent.
Kind of like Travis was right now.
“Murph? Are you okay?” Ethan felt his heart pounding in his chest. The way Travis was staring at him had Ethan worried, but he refused to give in to nerves until he knew for sure that they were over as a couple. “Please say something or hell, take a bite of your taco. Let me know you’re not going to storm out of here.”
Slowly, Travis lifted one taco al pastor to his mouth and took a giant bite. Chewing, he muttered around his mouth of food, “Happy?”
Ethan made a face. “Not particularly, baby. You could have done one or the other, I didn’t need the eating and the speaking to be simultaneous.”
Murphy chewed and swallowed, laughing the entire time. “Sorry,” he muttered. “Betcha thought you’d cured me of that bad habit.”
“I’d hoped,” Ethan agreed, handing Travis a napkin.
Travis took it and wiped his mouth. Tossing the napkin onto the table, he stood, digging in his pocket. “I guess that I don’t have to ask you about this now.”
The world swam as that gold band Ethan never wanted to see again landed on the table between them. He reached for it, and then stopped. “Where did you find this?”
“Is it what I think it is,” Travis asked, sitting down and resuming the annihilation of his dinner.
That Travis went right back to his taco was a good sign. The only time Murphy didn’t eat was when he was upset and, considering the way Travis destroyed that pork filled tortilla, he was still holding it together. “Yeah, it is,” Ethan said, giving in to the urge and picking up the bit of golden deceit.
“It was in that wooden box of yours in our bedroom,” Travis said, drawing the words out slowly. “I was looking for the silver cufflinks I got you for our anniversary. My parents are going to a fancy dinner in Minden Lake and I thought my pop might like to wear them, but I couldn’t find them. I searched everywhere…”
“Including the box,” Ethan finished for him. “Makes sense to me. Oh, and I have the cufflinks with me, you dope, that’s why you couldn’t find them.”
“Really?” Travis crunched a tortilla chip and thought for a moment. “You know, I think I remember you saying that you were taking them. Geez, why couldn’t I have remembered that then?”
“Because you were on a mission for your mother,” Ethan chuckled. “Remind me and I’ll give them to you to take home. So, what did you think when you found this?” He held the ring up, causing Travis to frown.
“I didn’t know what to think, especially after the way you acted when I called to find out where the damn cufflinks had gotten off to.”
Shit. “Trav,” Ethan said, feeling the blood drain from his face. “Reid was here when you called, that’s why I was so distracted.
That handsome face crumpled in on itself. “Why the fuck was he here, Ethan?”
“Travis,” he said, using the ‘calm Murphy’ tone he’d perfected over the year plus they’d been together. As much as he loved this boy, he was prone to histrionics at times. Although, no one could blame him for a bit of drama right now. “He’s been driving me crazy, showing up uninvited and trying to shoehorn himself back into my life.”
“Did you tell him you were married?”
“Every chance I got,” Ethan assured him. “Jordan even did the same, but Reid is even more hard headed than you are, Murph. He’s not listening, although I’m not buying what he’s selling either.”
“Promise?” The one word was full of hurt and fear and hope.
“Of course I promise,” Ethan said, feeling like hell for hurting Travis like this. “I spent too much time alone before I met you to ever want to go back. Even my time with Reid was more solitary than it wasn’t.”
The corners of Travis’ mouth twitched as if uncertain whether he should smile or not. “So, you agree that I am the most awesome husband ever to live?”
“For the love of god, Travis,” Ethan half laughed, half shouted. “Are you mad at me or not?”
“Not,” Travis said, wrapping his arms around Ethan’s neck. “But I can’t say that any of this makes me very happy, E.”
Ethan ran his fingers through his hair, sighing profoundly. “I know, Murph, and I can’t blame you one bit. Do you think you can still trust me, even after I lied to you?”
“Well,” he said, making the short word into multiple syllables. “I suppose.”
“Has anyone ever told you that you can be a right asshole?” Ethan stuffed a chip into his mouth, crunching loudly.
Travis grinned. “Look, I don’t like that you kept that from me, but I get it. Especially with how it ended. Can’t say I’d have been running around telling any prospective boyfriends that my last relationship was a crash and burn of epic proportions.” He shook his head, eyes full of sympathy for Ethan’s past heartache.
“I’m thinking that somewhere in there, you’ve forgiven me?” Dear god, please let him say yes.
“There’s nothing to forgive, E. I mean, it wasn’t even legal at the time, right?” Ethan shook his head. “Perfect. That means it doesn’t count and I’m forever your first and only husband.”
Ethan let the relief wash over him. Travis’ words were exactly what he’d needed to hear. Although he knew that he’d have to be extra careful about what he kept secret and what he made public between then, Ethan figured it was worth the effort to disclose even the difficult things. “You’re the only husband I’ll ever need, Murphy.”
“Damn Skippy, McDowell.”
“Stay with me tonight,” Ethan asked, knowing the answer, but terrified he was wrong.
“I thought you’d never ask,” Travis replied, kissing Ethan’s mouth like it was the first time all over.
Continues here.