Thoughts + Cowboys

[asphaltcowgrrl]

Okay, so first I want your thoughts on something.

A friend posted this thing on Facebook that reads:

Don’t trust people whose feelings change with time. Trust people whose feelings remain the same even when the time changes.

My thought is this: it’s human nature to change. Our day to day life experiences force us to change how we think, feel, act and react. When this happens, and we evolve to adapt to our own needs, we become a (hopefully) better version of ourselves. It doesn’t make us unfaithful or false friends. In a perfect world, it should make us a better friend, wife, sister, whatever.

I don’t care how much I love you, my feelings for you will change over the years. Maybe we’ll get closer because we’re there for each other, supporting and encouraging. Maybe we’ll drift apart because our personal interests will change and we won’t have so much in common. This is life. You cannot expect me to stagnate emotionally because you’re afraid of what the future holds.

Maybe I’m reading too much into this or maybe I spent too many years as a psyche major before having to drop out of college. I don’t know, but something about this post bugged me this morning. And really, it led to some serious introspection so maybe this is a good thing? Am I emotionally stagnating? Possibly.

What do you think? And feel free to disagree with me because we’re all different people with different experiences. Right?

Now, on to the cowboys.

Haldoor taunted me so I grabbed that book I was talking about last week - Hot Texan Temptation - and read it over the weekend. It was only 196 pages, so it was a quick read. Overall, it was a pretty good book. The hero, Cord, reminded me of an overly arrogant Zayne (because this guy was over the top in the beginning, thankfully he mellowed) and the heroine cracked me up. She knew she was at Cord’s mercy but fought it with everything she had, until that Texas charm melted her in her boots. But Laurie owned her own weakness, which made me respect her. It was also nice that the ‘big misunderstanding’ was something BIG for a change, something that you might not be able to talk about and fix right away. This kind of thing still annoys me as a plot device, but in situations like these, it makes sense. Both Laurie and Cord were hurting from some pretty deep emotional wounds. Not owning up to their feelings ten years prior, when they were teens/young adults, worked.

Now… I’m reading so damn many things I don’t even know where to start. I have three ARCs from Netgalley I need to get to, a book from the library, and a pile of things I own. *sigh*

October was OWNtober, meaning you only read – or tried to read – books you already owned. I think I’ve managed to get through nine books of my own this month, plus a few others. November, according to this blog I follow, is to catch up on all the goals, challenges, etc you set for yourself during the year. Not sure how to work that in since I’ve already beat my Goodreads challenge to a pulp (82 out of 50 read!). I might just pick a series and work on one series all November.

And… I can see your eyes glazing over as we speak, so I’ll end this post now.

ETA: A friend of mine started posting videos of cats in Christmas tress to my FB timeline this weekend. It'll be two years(!!) this Christmas that we lost Buddy and I still miss that little shit. Even when he toppled the Christmas tree. Or killed my basil plant. Or crammed himself into the hamster cage not realizing the ham was in her ball. Nayla is much better behaved. She likes to remove the ornaments from the tree, but she didn't try to climb it last year at least. This year, who knows?

Comments

[kaige68.livejournal.com]

RE: Change - When I read that blurb, my first thought was that it was about politics, and it made me very angry.

Taking a breath and stepping away, I do think that we have to change. If you don't have experiences that change the way you think, if you keep the same outlook and opinions that you had when you were in kindergarten, well, we're screwed. Your priorities change, so your opinions change. You fall in love, you have kids, you make friends, you see pain, you see joy, and maybe you experience them too. They change you, and if they don't ... I don't want to trust you.

If talking to someone who is passionate about something that you are opposingly passionate about doesn't at least let you understand differences then how do you get up and go to work everyday? How is life not the most miserable experience in the world.

My priorities are not what they were in 1975. Or 1986, or even last week in some instances. Some days losing weight and being healthier is the most important thing on my mind. Some days it's cheese.

Also - YAY COWBOYS!!!!!

[asphaltcowgrrl.livejournal.com]

Oh wow, I wouldn't have ever thought about that in a political aspect, but can totally understand why it would make you rage in that context.

Also, she explained to me that she read it as 'people whose feelings change when you're going through hard times'. I don't see that in there but then - different people, different experiences, etc. So I get it.

That said - yes to all of the rest of this. I think you put it much better than I did. My mother always made sure that I understood I didn't have to agree with someone to see where they were coming from. You make a good point about if I'm changing and you aren't... there's something going on there.

I had to laugh - you know I'm a little younger than you are - but I was only a year old in 1975. Not sure I even had any priorities other than eating and sleeping. Those were the days, eh? :) Wait, cheese isn't always a priority? Huh.

YES! COWBOYS! So much so that, instead of reading one of the books I needed to read, I went back to How to Marry a Cowboy because I was in a mood. Mason was calling me. ROFL

P. S. I love your icon. :)

[severina2001.livejournal.com]

Some days it's cheese.

I just have to say that this made me laugh out loud.

[asphaltcowgrrl.livejournal.com]

I have to admit, it cracked me the heck up, too.

[kaige68.livejournal.com]

:D

Today was a cheese day.

[haldoor.livejournal.com]

Firstly, before we get to the important stuff (and yes, I am reading LJ in reverse, because sometimes I'm like that), COWBOYS!!! and that Haldoor taunted you... hee.

The change thing... well, I think Kaige put it most succinctly, and I agree with you both. We all change - I've even changed my opinion about tea and coffee in this last year, so how not about bigger things? If things make you think, delve deeper, and yes, in some cases, change your opinion, well, so be it. You've learned, you've grown, and just as you said, you're probably a better person for it. And I didn't see what your friend did either, but then we all see what we want to, I guess.

Your ability to read and write and keep up with your busy life continues to amaze me. I have no idea how you do it. I have hardly read anything in the last few weeks, but to be fair, I did go on an overseas holiday, and when I wasn't sight-seeing around your marvellous state, I was sleeping. HA! Since I've been home I've mainly been focusing on Christmas card making, so I guess that's an excuse too... but not a very good one.

On the other hand, I am also ahead on my yearly goal for books! 25 out of 24 read! WOOT! I didn't raise the bar very high though... still, I'm attempting to get through the 8 or so lying around that I own and haven't read, even though I didn't even know it was OWNtober! That does not explain why I just added another free one to my Kindle *shifty eyes*, but we'll just say I'm saving them up for when I have no other options. HA.

I so want to write too, but I haven't yet figured out how to make that happen regularly in the new house. We've only been here 15 months now... what the hell? I blame menopause, because it's what I do. Before that, I had this HUGE URGE (to write! before your brain goes elsewhere) almost all the time, and ideas flowed more freely than water, but in the last couple of years... not so much. DAMMIT, I need to just open one of my WIPs and go for it.

And with that, I will stop hijacking your journal. Thank you, and good afternoon (or it will be in 13 minutes). *ding*

[asphaltcowgrrl.livejournal.com]

Yes! Cowboys! And I broke down because you told me I wanted to. LOL

I agree that K put it much better than I did. As for my friend, I think she was reading into it what she wanted to see, which is fine but... it didn't make any sense to me.

Aw, thanks. The writing I have to work at because it easily falls through the cracks. The reading... I don't know. I read for about half an hour every morning, an hour when I get home at night (unless the kids hijack my time). It just comes much easier. I envy you the ability to make your own Christmas cards. I'm nowhere near skilled enough for that. In the end, if you're happy, then that's all that counts. We have a little coffee shop near the house that always has cute coffee mugs and prints up for sale. Saw one the other day that had a quote: Time you enjoyed wasting was not wasted or something like that.

That's awesome! I've killed my goal, but I've read a lot of short books (graphic novels & cookbooks, mostly), so take that for what it's worth. Good luck getting through your books! As for OWNtober, I needed a reason to focus on the books I had. To a point, it's worked. I think I've read 9 of the 25 I listed to read. So, that's good. Hahaha - those Kindle freebies will get you every darn time!

Honestly, you'll figure it out eventually. And like we were talking about earlier, our priorities change and something else has stolen that urge to write and turned it into something else. Which is perfectly acceptable so don't be too hard on yourself. :)

Hahaha - you gave me a lot of reading material while I sat in the parking lot of my kid's school yesterday afternoon. She needed a ride so I left work early and then she took FOREVER to come out. LOL

[haldoor.livejournal.com]

HA! I love it when a plan comes together!

You're right - as long as you're happy doing what you're doing, that's all that matters. I only wish my husband could see the point of view that that quote shows! he seems to think you've got to get ALL THE WORK DONE and then worry about all the work that needs doing... when most of it is not about to be checked by the 'at home jobs' police. *rolls eyes* I am so not the workaholic he is.

I will figure the writing out. I'm not going to beat myself up about it right now - this time of the year is busy enough, so maybe when things slow down after Christmas I'll get back to it.

So glad to have been of help! ;-)

[asphaltcowgrrl.livejournal.com]

I do sometimes stress over the work that needs to be done, but generally I can push it aside for a bit. I probably fall somewhere between you and your husband. Hahaha.

Exactly, maybe the new year will bring you the motivation/solution you need.

[severina2001.livejournal.com]

Where do you get these goals about OWNtober and November, etc? I mean its too late in the year for me obviously but I'd love to check it out for next year.

[asphaltcowgrrl.livejournal.com]

On the Books & Munches blog: https://booksandmunches.com/. And it's never too late - I only started with October. :)

[severina2001.livejournal.com]

Ooh, just checked the blog out and she has some really neat ideas! I signed up to follow but most likely won't join in until the new year. It'll be good to have some interesting reading goals. :)

[asphaltcowgrrl.livejournal.com]

She does! And as a bonus, she's a really nice lady with a great sense of humor. I agree - these challenges help me clear out my stash of books rather than accumulating new ones (which happens anyway but yanno).