![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
asphaltcowgrrlTitle: Fears and Uncertainties
Fandom: Romani Detective original fiction
Pairing: Andrej Zeklos/James Rosewood/Zayne Reyes
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2,099
Summary: Zayne lets his insecurities get the better of him, allowing his inner child to take over.
Author’s Note: Written for the weekend challenge at![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
1_million_words. My prompt was the quote from Shakespeare’s Measure for Measure: “Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt”. And yeah… I’m a week late with this one.
Our doubts are traitors,
He’d done it again.
For the life of him, Zayne couldn’t figure out why he was such an absolute asshole at the worst possible times. All the narco had done was ask a simple question and he’d lost his mind. While his losing his shit for no reason wasn’t all that unusual, to lose it on Rosewood like he had was a bit of an abnormality. For some reason, the ginger brought out every last insecurity Zayne possessed, plus a few he’d never known existed.
Judging by the look on Andy’s face at the end, it was obvious he was going to have to figure out a way to fix this and fast. But how? Every time he opened his mouth, it only got worse. Zayne’s mother had warned him many times throughout his youth that if he didn’t rein in both his mouth and his temper, he’d find himself lonely and alone in his old age.
Maybe it was what he deserved, considering it felt like all he was capable of was pissing off the ginger and hurting Zek. Then there was Hilary, he hadn’t ever fared much better in his relationship with her, either. And she was a lot less volatile than the redhead. Zeklos, on the other hand, rarely let anything get under his skin, which is how Zayne knew he was in deep kimchi.
Why the hell did he insist on constantly opening his mouth and shoving his boot inside?
and make us lose the good we oft might win,
In a lot of ways, walking out was the best – and only – thing he could do. If he had he stayed, the damn narco would have blown up and there would have been bloodshed. Maybe not literally, but there would have been some deep emotional wounds had he not stormed out like the child they always accused him of being. On the other hand, at least they only thought him a child and not an aggressive, ill-tempered prick.
Because there was plenty of time for them to figure that out later.
Shaking his head, Zayne gripped the steering wheel tightly. He’d pulled over once the rain had started, vision blurring from more than the water on his windshield. But even the giant mesquite tree towering over the top of his truck didn’t bring him any comfort. He’d always loved the large trees and the unpredictable ways in which their branches grew. Right now, however, with the rain dripping off their leaves and onto his truck, there wasn’t anything reassuring about this old girl.
His phone buzzed in the cup holder, announcing an incoming text. Flipping off the device, he stared out through the windshield at the grey sky and storm drenched park spread out before him. Zayne loved this little park with all its mesquite trees, chipmunks, and the occasional jackrabbit. It wasn’t any wonder he’d wound up here, he supposed, considering the history he had with it.
by fearing to attempt
Again, his cellphone buzzed and, again, he ignored it. He wasn’t ready to explain himself yet, to admit to the fact that he was afraid he was one day going to be edged out of this relationship. He knew he was the outsider, and that he’d only been invited in because Rosewood had felt bad for him, for Zeklos when he’d been injured.
Everything came back to Zeklos, it seemed, even this damn park he was sitting in. The first case they’d ever worked together had taken place here, when a body had been found underneath the bridge that sat a hundred yards to the east. A smile came to Reyes’ face when the memory of Zek encountering his first bit of desert wildlife surfaced. They’d just finished examining the scene and were making their way back up the steep, grassy slope that led to the baseball field and restrooms when something small and furry darted past Zek’s loafers. Startled, he’d stepped back, lost his balance and had careened into Reyes’ body. He remembered being thankful that his new partner was so slimly built or they’d both might have gone tumbling down the hill they’d just climbed.
It had only been a chipmunk, and a baby one at that, but it had come out of nowhere and scared the daylights out of Zeklos. The poor guy had been rattled for days after, always watching where he put his feet. It was both sweet and amusing and Zayne’s incessant teasing of Zeklos after had truly cemented their friendship. Or so he liked to tell himself. Whether it had or not, he’d never know, because he’d never ask.
A loud rap on the passenger window startled him out of his memories. Turning to his right, Reyes saw a wet, extremely bedraggled narco pounding on his window.
“God damn you,” Rosewood snarled into the wind, “unlock your doors.”
Leaning across the bench seat, Zayne unlocked the door and sat up. “What the hell are you doing out in the rain? You’ll get sick and Zek will never forgive me.” Not like there was much chance of forgiveness either way, but whatever. He’d deal with that later.
“Andy’s worried about you,” James spat, climbing inside the cab, slamming the door closed behind him. “I made him stay in the car though.” He pointed two spaces over where Zeklos’ fancy car sat getting dirty.
Frowning, Zayne reached behind the seat and retrieved his spare jacket. “Put this on before you freeze,” he said, reaching for the key in the ignition. “I’ll turn on the heat –”
“Don’t,” James said, voice soft. “Just come home and explain to us why you went off the deep end like you did. You have a tendency to get worked up over nothing, but this is extreme even for you.”
“I saw your faces,” Zayne pouted. “Neither of you want me to come home.”
“Maybe not then,” James admitted, “but we’ve calmed down since you left. Andy swears that something’s up with you or you wouldn’t have had such a knee-jerk reaction to my question. We decided to let you explain before we get angry.” He grimaced at his own words. “Sorry, before we decide if we have the right to be angry.”
“You positive?” James nodded and Zayne sighed. “Okay, fine. I’ll come home and we’ll talk.”
“Good,” James said, reaching for the door handle. “I’ll see you at the house.”
Zayne stopped him with a hand to his arm. “Don’t,” he said. “Ride home with me. I don’t want you to get any wetter than you are. Call Zek and tell him since I have no doubt he was driving.”
A grin crossed the redhead’s face. “Yeah, he doesn’t let anyone drive his car,” he laughed.
Reyes pulled out of the parking spot, following Zeklos back to his house. “How did you know to find me here?”
Shrugging, James looked out the window at the rainy desert night. “Andy said you come out here to think sometimes. Says you love that really strangely shaped tree near the south end of the park.”
Zayne smiled. The trees branches arched outwards from the center, giving the appearance of a seat on each side. It always seemed so welcoming to him. “He’s right, but you know this is where he and I had our first dead body together.”
“Homicide dicks are weird,” James laughed. “But I get it. First case, first time out in the wild together. It becomes more important the longer you’re partnered. But I have a question.”
He’d known this was coming. “I thought you were going to wait until we got home.”
“I was,” James admitted, “but I have to know. What was it about my question that upset you so much?”
Zayne focused on the washed out street before him. The lighting out this way wasn’t the best, it was an older part of the city after all. If he wasn’t careful, he could run himself off the road. “I don’t know,” he lied. Kicking himself, he tried again. “That’s not entirely true. I know why, I just don’t know how to get it out without offending you.”
“Spit it out, we can work through the words later,” James suggested.
Chuckling, Zayne shook his head. “That shit gets me in trouble every time,” he said. “But the thing is, Zeklos was my partner, my friend first. I know he was your boyfriend first but… but when you asked if you’d get to move into his room if – uh, when – you decided to move in, it kind of pissed me off.”
“You got territorial,” James said, nodding. “I get it. I’d have probably thrown your ass out for asking that kind of question now that I think about it. I didn’t mean anything by it.”
“I know,” Reyes groaned. “But it still hurt.”
And there was something he hadn’t expected to admit to feeling.
James’ hand reached over and rested on Zayne’s knee. “Next time, tell me I’m being a jerk instead of running away. There might be more fighting but maybe we can work it out before there’s a war.”
“Maybe,” Zayne conceded. “Does that mean you’re going to do it? You’re really thinking about moving in?”
“Now that, cowboy, is a good question.” James’ hand retreated, leaving a cold, damp spot on Zayne’s jeans. “Sometimes, I’m all in, ready to pack my shit and show up on Andy’s doorstep.”
“But?” He really didn’t want to hear the but, but he didn’t think he could not know either.
“But,” James frowned, “there’s you and this dynamic that you and Andy have already hammered out between yourselves. My invading your space permanently would upset that.”
“It already has,” Zayne said without thinking. “Shit, I didn’t mean it like that,” he said quickly. “What I mean is, your chasing Zek upset our working dynamic and, to a point, the dynamics of our friendship. But we worked all that out, didn’t we?”
“Yeah, I guess we did,” James admitted.
“So, where does that leave us now?”
“About two minutes from home, cowboy,” James grinned. “But as for the other question, leaning a little more left than right.”
Zayne pulled into the driveway, parking his truck next to Zek’s in the garage. “Wait,” he said, shutting off the engine. “What the hell does that mean?”
“I guess you’ll find out when I do,” James said, hopping out of the truck, leaving Zayne to himself.
“Son of a bitch,” Reyes muttered, slamming his door behind him. “I just poured my heart out to him and he gave me nothing.”
“It’s how he is,” Zeklos said from the doorway leading into the house. “You are not any better.”
“Maybe not,” Zayne admitted, “but you know how to read me.”
“Like a book,” Zek grinned, probably proud of getting the idiom correct for once. “Now, come inside, it is cold and wet and you’ll get sick.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Zayne muttered, moving past Zeklos and into the house. “Admit it, you’d love to nurse me back to health.”
“Or put you in the hospital,” James called down the hallway.
“Now see, things like that tick me off,” Zayne grumbled.
“Easy,” Andrej soothed. “You will have to learn to play nice with him one day. I was hoping it would be today.”
“I’m sorry,” he said, giving Zeklos his best downtrodden puppy look. “I’ll try harder,” he promised.
“Do you also promise to keep your temper under control?” Andrej fixed those devilishly blue eyes on him, waiting.
“I will try,” Reyes mumbled.
“That’s all I can ask,” Zeklos said, giving Zayne’s arm a pat. “I’ve made Jay make the same promise so you can work on your anger management together.”
Great, he thought. Just what he always wanted – to work through his deepest, darkest issues with the narco. “This is going to be so much fun, Zek. I can’t stand it.”
“Wait until Jay moves in,” Andrej said, walking away. “You’ll have plenty of time to work through your issues then.”
“God damn it,” Reyes sighed, the redhead’s laughter following him down the hall. “I’ll kill him first.”
“I heard that,” James hollered, cackling even as Andrej slapped his arm.
Sighing, Zayne hung up his jacket and went to face the music. If he didn’t out himself as an insecure, neurotic idiot soon, he’d never get any rest. But on the flip side, maybe they’d feel sorry for him and take pity. Now that was an idea he could get behind. Pity sex was still sex, right?
“Okay,” he said. “It’s like this…”
Fandom: Romani Detective original fiction
Pairing: Andrej Zeklos/James Rosewood/Zayne Reyes
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2,099
Summary: Zayne lets his insecurities get the better of him, allowing his inner child to take over.
Author’s Note: Written for the weekend challenge at
1_million_words. My prompt was the quote from Shakespeare’s Measure for Measure: “Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt”. And yeah… I’m a week late with this one.Our doubts are traitors,
He’d done it again.
For the life of him, Zayne couldn’t figure out why he was such an absolute asshole at the worst possible times. All the narco had done was ask a simple question and he’d lost his mind. While his losing his shit for no reason wasn’t all that unusual, to lose it on Rosewood like he had was a bit of an abnormality. For some reason, the ginger brought out every last insecurity Zayne possessed, plus a few he’d never known existed.
Judging by the look on Andy’s face at the end, it was obvious he was going to have to figure out a way to fix this and fast. But how? Every time he opened his mouth, it only got worse. Zayne’s mother had warned him many times throughout his youth that if he didn’t rein in both his mouth and his temper, he’d find himself lonely and alone in his old age.
Maybe it was what he deserved, considering it felt like all he was capable of was pissing off the ginger and hurting Zek. Then there was Hilary, he hadn’t ever fared much better in his relationship with her, either. And she was a lot less volatile than the redhead. Zeklos, on the other hand, rarely let anything get under his skin, which is how Zayne knew he was in deep kimchi.
Why the hell did he insist on constantly opening his mouth and shoving his boot inside?
and make us lose the good we oft might win,
In a lot of ways, walking out was the best – and only – thing he could do. If he had he stayed, the damn narco would have blown up and there would have been bloodshed. Maybe not literally, but there would have been some deep emotional wounds had he not stormed out like the child they always accused him of being. On the other hand, at least they only thought him a child and not an aggressive, ill-tempered prick.
Because there was plenty of time for them to figure that out later.
Shaking his head, Zayne gripped the steering wheel tightly. He’d pulled over once the rain had started, vision blurring from more than the water on his windshield. But even the giant mesquite tree towering over the top of his truck didn’t bring him any comfort. He’d always loved the large trees and the unpredictable ways in which their branches grew. Right now, however, with the rain dripping off their leaves and onto his truck, there wasn’t anything reassuring about this old girl.
His phone buzzed in the cup holder, announcing an incoming text. Flipping off the device, he stared out through the windshield at the grey sky and storm drenched park spread out before him. Zayne loved this little park with all its mesquite trees, chipmunks, and the occasional jackrabbit. It wasn’t any wonder he’d wound up here, he supposed, considering the history he had with it.
by fearing to attempt
Again, his cellphone buzzed and, again, he ignored it. He wasn’t ready to explain himself yet, to admit to the fact that he was afraid he was one day going to be edged out of this relationship. He knew he was the outsider, and that he’d only been invited in because Rosewood had felt bad for him, for Zeklos when he’d been injured.
Everything came back to Zeklos, it seemed, even this damn park he was sitting in. The first case they’d ever worked together had taken place here, when a body had been found underneath the bridge that sat a hundred yards to the east. A smile came to Reyes’ face when the memory of Zek encountering his first bit of desert wildlife surfaced. They’d just finished examining the scene and were making their way back up the steep, grassy slope that led to the baseball field and restrooms when something small and furry darted past Zek’s loafers. Startled, he’d stepped back, lost his balance and had careened into Reyes’ body. He remembered being thankful that his new partner was so slimly built or they’d both might have gone tumbling down the hill they’d just climbed.
It had only been a chipmunk, and a baby one at that, but it had come out of nowhere and scared the daylights out of Zeklos. The poor guy had been rattled for days after, always watching where he put his feet. It was both sweet and amusing and Zayne’s incessant teasing of Zeklos after had truly cemented their friendship. Or so he liked to tell himself. Whether it had or not, he’d never know, because he’d never ask.
A loud rap on the passenger window startled him out of his memories. Turning to his right, Reyes saw a wet, extremely bedraggled narco pounding on his window.
“God damn you,” Rosewood snarled into the wind, “unlock your doors.”
Leaning across the bench seat, Zayne unlocked the door and sat up. “What the hell are you doing out in the rain? You’ll get sick and Zek will never forgive me.” Not like there was much chance of forgiveness either way, but whatever. He’d deal with that later.
“Andy’s worried about you,” James spat, climbing inside the cab, slamming the door closed behind him. “I made him stay in the car though.” He pointed two spaces over where Zeklos’ fancy car sat getting dirty.
Frowning, Zayne reached behind the seat and retrieved his spare jacket. “Put this on before you freeze,” he said, reaching for the key in the ignition. “I’ll turn on the heat –”
“Don’t,” James said, voice soft. “Just come home and explain to us why you went off the deep end like you did. You have a tendency to get worked up over nothing, but this is extreme even for you.”
“I saw your faces,” Zayne pouted. “Neither of you want me to come home.”
“Maybe not then,” James admitted, “but we’ve calmed down since you left. Andy swears that something’s up with you or you wouldn’t have had such a knee-jerk reaction to my question. We decided to let you explain before we get angry.” He grimaced at his own words. “Sorry, before we decide if we have the right to be angry.”
“You positive?” James nodded and Zayne sighed. “Okay, fine. I’ll come home and we’ll talk.”
“Good,” James said, reaching for the door handle. “I’ll see you at the house.”
Zayne stopped him with a hand to his arm. “Don’t,” he said. “Ride home with me. I don’t want you to get any wetter than you are. Call Zek and tell him since I have no doubt he was driving.”
A grin crossed the redhead’s face. “Yeah, he doesn’t let anyone drive his car,” he laughed.
Reyes pulled out of the parking spot, following Zeklos back to his house. “How did you know to find me here?”
Shrugging, James looked out the window at the rainy desert night. “Andy said you come out here to think sometimes. Says you love that really strangely shaped tree near the south end of the park.”
Zayne smiled. The trees branches arched outwards from the center, giving the appearance of a seat on each side. It always seemed so welcoming to him. “He’s right, but you know this is where he and I had our first dead body together.”
“Homicide dicks are weird,” James laughed. “But I get it. First case, first time out in the wild together. It becomes more important the longer you’re partnered. But I have a question.”
He’d known this was coming. “I thought you were going to wait until we got home.”
“I was,” James admitted, “but I have to know. What was it about my question that upset you so much?”
Zayne focused on the washed out street before him. The lighting out this way wasn’t the best, it was an older part of the city after all. If he wasn’t careful, he could run himself off the road. “I don’t know,” he lied. Kicking himself, he tried again. “That’s not entirely true. I know why, I just don’t know how to get it out without offending you.”
“Spit it out, we can work through the words later,” James suggested.
Chuckling, Zayne shook his head. “That shit gets me in trouble every time,” he said. “But the thing is, Zeklos was my partner, my friend first. I know he was your boyfriend first but… but when you asked if you’d get to move into his room if – uh, when – you decided to move in, it kind of pissed me off.”
“You got territorial,” James said, nodding. “I get it. I’d have probably thrown your ass out for asking that kind of question now that I think about it. I didn’t mean anything by it.”
“I know,” Reyes groaned. “But it still hurt.”
And there was something he hadn’t expected to admit to feeling.
James’ hand reached over and rested on Zayne’s knee. “Next time, tell me I’m being a jerk instead of running away. There might be more fighting but maybe we can work it out before there’s a war.”
“Maybe,” Zayne conceded. “Does that mean you’re going to do it? You’re really thinking about moving in?”
“Now that, cowboy, is a good question.” James’ hand retreated, leaving a cold, damp spot on Zayne’s jeans. “Sometimes, I’m all in, ready to pack my shit and show up on Andy’s doorstep.”
“But?” He really didn’t want to hear the but, but he didn’t think he could not know either.
“But,” James frowned, “there’s you and this dynamic that you and Andy have already hammered out between yourselves. My invading your space permanently would upset that.”
“It already has,” Zayne said without thinking. “Shit, I didn’t mean it like that,” he said quickly. “What I mean is, your chasing Zek upset our working dynamic and, to a point, the dynamics of our friendship. But we worked all that out, didn’t we?”
“Yeah, I guess we did,” James admitted.
“So, where does that leave us now?”
“About two minutes from home, cowboy,” James grinned. “But as for the other question, leaning a little more left than right.”
Zayne pulled into the driveway, parking his truck next to Zek’s in the garage. “Wait,” he said, shutting off the engine. “What the hell does that mean?”
“I guess you’ll find out when I do,” James said, hopping out of the truck, leaving Zayne to himself.
“Son of a bitch,” Reyes muttered, slamming his door behind him. “I just poured my heart out to him and he gave me nothing.”
“It’s how he is,” Zeklos said from the doorway leading into the house. “You are not any better.”
“Maybe not,” Zayne admitted, “but you know how to read me.”
“Like a book,” Zek grinned, probably proud of getting the idiom correct for once. “Now, come inside, it is cold and wet and you’ll get sick.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Zayne muttered, moving past Zeklos and into the house. “Admit it, you’d love to nurse me back to health.”
“Or put you in the hospital,” James called down the hallway.
“Now see, things like that tick me off,” Zayne grumbled.
“Easy,” Andrej soothed. “You will have to learn to play nice with him one day. I was hoping it would be today.”
“I’m sorry,” he said, giving Zeklos his best downtrodden puppy look. “I’ll try harder,” he promised.
“Do you also promise to keep your temper under control?” Andrej fixed those devilishly blue eyes on him, waiting.
“I will try,” Reyes mumbled.
“That’s all I can ask,” Zeklos said, giving Zayne’s arm a pat. “I’ve made Jay make the same promise so you can work on your anger management together.”
Great, he thought. Just what he always wanted – to work through his deepest, darkest issues with the narco. “This is going to be so much fun, Zek. I can’t stand it.”
“Wait until Jay moves in,” Andrej said, walking away. “You’ll have plenty of time to work through your issues then.”
“God damn it,” Reyes sighed, the redhead’s laughter following him down the hall. “I’ll kill him first.”
“I heard that,” James hollered, cackling even as Andrej slapped his arm.
Sighing, Zayne hung up his jacket and went to face the music. If he didn’t out himself as an insecure, neurotic idiot soon, he’d never get any rest. But on the flip side, maybe they’d feel sorry for him and take pity. Now that was an idea he could get behind. Pity sex was still sex, right?
“Okay,” he said. “It’s like this…”
