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asphaltcowgrrlTitle: Did You Know?
Fandom: White Pine Original Fiction
Pairing: Travis Murphy/Ethan McDowell
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1,222
Summary: Travis has been researching his new novel and that always brings its own sort of chaos into Ethan’s life.
Author’s Note: Written for the weekend challenge at 1_million_words. Also, this got a bit ridiculous. I have a fondness for stupid/weird/unusual facts and I sort of got distracted myself. I’m changing my last name to Murphy while I’m here.
“Did you know,” Travis asked, picking up a can of beans and reading the label. “That cats can sleep between sixteen and eighteen hours a day?”
Ethan snorted. “Yes, I kind of figured that one out first hand. Did you know they’re only awake when you’re trying to sleep?”
Travis looked up and made a face at his husband. “That’s not true.”
“Maybe not,” Ethan said, taking the beans from Travis and adding them to the cart. “But it sure as hell feels like it is. Freaking Ryan would not stop meowing last night.”
“You shouldn’t lock him out of our room,” Travis said. “What about corn?”
“Get the frozen stuff, it tastes better,” Ethan said. “Besides, Brennan was already curled up on my pillow. Isn’t one cat at a time enough?”
“I cannot be a crazy cat lady with only one cat,” Travis said, pushing the cart farther down the aisle. He grabbed a few cans of tuna, for himself or the cats, Ethan wasn’t sure. “Almost fifty percent of bank robberies take place on Friday.”
“Um,” Ethan said, lowering the box of pasta he’d picked up. “That’s interesting.”
“Isn’t it?” Travis smiled at him and his heart melted. “I thought it’d be a good way to start my next novel.”
Ah, so that’s what all this was about. “You’ve been researching, haven’t you?”
“Who, me,” Travis asked, hand to his chest in a gesture of innocence. “Maybe.”
Ethan laughed. Knowing that his partner was bursting with weird and unusual information, he figured he might as well give Travis an outlet before his brain exploded. “What else did you learn while I was at work last night?”
Grinning, Travis pointed at the box of pasta in Ethan’s hand. “Not penne, I want the farfalle.”
Of course Travis wanted the bow ties. He exchanged the boxes and added the correct pasta to the cart. “So?”
“So,” Travis said, putting his hands on the cart handle and pushing. “This was funny. According to law, citizens of Vermont have to take a bath at least once a week.”
Ethan made a face. “More states need to enact and enforce that law.”
“You’ve arrested some smelly ones, I’m guessing.”
“Yeah,” Ethan said, grimacing. “Back in Minden Lake before I became a detective I ran into more than a few in need of a wash.”
“I can’t even imagine,” Travis said, giving a small shudder. “Another fun one: it’s illegal to advertise on tombstones in Roanoke, Virginia.”
“What,” Ethan spluttered. “The scary thing is that it’s a law because someone – more than one someone, actually – had to have done it. What is wrong with the world?”
“Dunno,” Travis shrugged. He turned the corner and headed up the breakfast aisle. “Granola bars?”
“No,” Ethan said, shaking his head. “I still have some in my desk.”
“Stockpiling like the little chipmunk you are,” Travis teased.
“Shut up,” Ethan said, giving his husband a gentle shove to the shoulder.
“Male students at BYU need a doctor’s note to grow a beard,” Travis tossed out.
“Damn glad I’m not LDS or a student at BYU,” Ethan replied, scratching at his unshaven face.
“Yeah, you’d be in for a talking to if you were Mormon,” Travis chuckled. “But I like you better without a beard, just so ya know.”
“Hey, Murph,” Ethan called, holding out a box of cereal for Travis to see. “There’s trivia on this box. I like this one: the sum of all numbers on a roulette wheel equal six hundred sixty-six.”
“Sounds about right,” Travis said, taking the box from Ethan and skimming the stuff listed. “Probably why my dad said to stick to card games if I ever gambled. Craps and roulette are fool’s games, he said.”
Ethan turned to the opposite side of the aisle and started searching for the coffee that Travis preferred. He’d drink anything if his favorite brand wasn’t available. But, if he could find the… yes, there it was. “I found your coffee, Trav.”
“Wonderful,” he said, not looking up from the cereal box. “But I think there’s a typo on this trivia list.”
“Really,” Ethan asked, dropping the coffee into the cart and reading over Travis’ shoulder. “What’s it say?”
“It says ‘the moon orbits the earth every 27.32 days’.” He lowered the box and looked at Ethan, confused. “I thought it was the other way around?”
“Well, it says ‘true and false trivia’ so maybe it’s not but wait… what do you mean you think it’s the other way around? The earth revolves around the moon?”
“No,” Travis said, looking up. “No, the question is written wrong it… oh shit,” Travis laughed. “I need more sleep. I misread that. I thought it actually said the Earth revolves around the moon. Good god.”
Rolling his eyes, Ethan gave Travis a one armed hug. “It’s okay, baby. Research always leaves you a little wonky afterwards.” Which was putting it mildly. Travis’ head was stuffed with so much information right now that Ethan was surprised he could function at all. It’d take a couple days for Murph to process it all and he’d be back to his normal, goofy self. Until then, his husband would be randomly dropping bits of useless information and acting discombobulated.
“Well, now that I’ve embarrassed myself,” Travis said, starting to put the box back on the shelf before stopping. “Okay, so wait, maybe this is the fake one.”
Ethan leaned back over Travis’ shoulder, taking in the sweet scent of his husband’s skin. “Which one, this here? Hmm, Dr. Ruth was trained as a sniper by the Israeli military? I’m not sure if I buy that or not, but a Google search when you get home will give you the truth.”
Travis snapped a picture of the back of the box with his phone and returned the cereal to the shelf. “You’re right. And you know what?”
“That would make one hell of a story,” Ethan said, finishing one of Travis’ favorite sayings. “And this time I actually agree with you. A tiny woman with a sniper rifle, robbing a bank on a Friday? I’d read that. What’s next on the list?”
“Ice cream and Twizzlers.”
“Can’t Lawanda feed herself,” Ethan teased, referencing Travis’ muse. The woman only made Travis’ sweet tooth worse.
“You feed me,” Travis said, pressing a kiss to Ethan’s neck, just under his ear, “you feed her. Deal with it.”
Ethan shook his head, defeated. “Whatever you say, Murphy. I’ll buy anything you want as long as it means we can get the hell out of here soon.”
“Get moving towards the ice cream then, baby,” Travis ordered. “We can hit the candy aisle on the way to the checkout.”
“Aye, aye, sir,” Ethan said, taking the cart from Travis and pushing towards the frozen foods aisle.
There wasn’t any choice but to comply because once Travis started a new novel, all bets were off. Lawanda was now in charge and she was a stubborn bitch. But, she could be a fun bitch, too, when the circumstances were right.
“Hey Travis,” Ethan called. “Do we need to stop at the liquor store on the way home, too?”
Travis turned and smiled at Ethan, giving him all the answer he needed. Yeah, his husband was a nut ball, but he was Ethan’s nut ball.
Fandom: White Pine Original Fiction
Pairing: Travis Murphy/Ethan McDowell
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1,222
Summary: Travis has been researching his new novel and that always brings its own sort of chaos into Ethan’s life.
Author’s Note: Written for the weekend challenge at 1_million_words. Also, this got a bit ridiculous. I have a fondness for stupid/weird/unusual facts and I sort of got distracted myself. I’m changing my last name to Murphy while I’m here.
“Did you know,” Travis asked, picking up a can of beans and reading the label. “That cats can sleep between sixteen and eighteen hours a day?”
Ethan snorted. “Yes, I kind of figured that one out first hand. Did you know they’re only awake when you’re trying to sleep?”
Travis looked up and made a face at his husband. “That’s not true.”
“Maybe not,” Ethan said, taking the beans from Travis and adding them to the cart. “But it sure as hell feels like it is. Freaking Ryan would not stop meowing last night.”
“You shouldn’t lock him out of our room,” Travis said. “What about corn?”
“Get the frozen stuff, it tastes better,” Ethan said. “Besides, Brennan was already curled up on my pillow. Isn’t one cat at a time enough?”
“I cannot be a crazy cat lady with only one cat,” Travis said, pushing the cart farther down the aisle. He grabbed a few cans of tuna, for himself or the cats, Ethan wasn’t sure. “Almost fifty percent of bank robberies take place on Friday.”
“Um,” Ethan said, lowering the box of pasta he’d picked up. “That’s interesting.”
“Isn’t it?” Travis smiled at him and his heart melted. “I thought it’d be a good way to start my next novel.”
Ah, so that’s what all this was about. “You’ve been researching, haven’t you?”
“Who, me,” Travis asked, hand to his chest in a gesture of innocence. “Maybe.”
Ethan laughed. Knowing that his partner was bursting with weird and unusual information, he figured he might as well give Travis an outlet before his brain exploded. “What else did you learn while I was at work last night?”
Grinning, Travis pointed at the box of pasta in Ethan’s hand. “Not penne, I want the farfalle.”
Of course Travis wanted the bow ties. He exchanged the boxes and added the correct pasta to the cart. “So?”
“So,” Travis said, putting his hands on the cart handle and pushing. “This was funny. According to law, citizens of Vermont have to take a bath at least once a week.”
Ethan made a face. “More states need to enact and enforce that law.”
“You’ve arrested some smelly ones, I’m guessing.”
“Yeah,” Ethan said, grimacing. “Back in Minden Lake before I became a detective I ran into more than a few in need of a wash.”
“I can’t even imagine,” Travis said, giving a small shudder. “Another fun one: it’s illegal to advertise on tombstones in Roanoke, Virginia.”
“What,” Ethan spluttered. “The scary thing is that it’s a law because someone – more than one someone, actually – had to have done it. What is wrong with the world?”
“Dunno,” Travis shrugged. He turned the corner and headed up the breakfast aisle. “Granola bars?”
“No,” Ethan said, shaking his head. “I still have some in my desk.”
“Stockpiling like the little chipmunk you are,” Travis teased.
“Shut up,” Ethan said, giving his husband a gentle shove to the shoulder.
“Male students at BYU need a doctor’s note to grow a beard,” Travis tossed out.
“Damn glad I’m not LDS or a student at BYU,” Ethan replied, scratching at his unshaven face.
“Yeah, you’d be in for a talking to if you were Mormon,” Travis chuckled. “But I like you better without a beard, just so ya know.”
“Hey, Murph,” Ethan called, holding out a box of cereal for Travis to see. “There’s trivia on this box. I like this one: the sum of all numbers on a roulette wheel equal six hundred sixty-six.”
“Sounds about right,” Travis said, taking the box from Ethan and skimming the stuff listed. “Probably why my dad said to stick to card games if I ever gambled. Craps and roulette are fool’s games, he said.”
Ethan turned to the opposite side of the aisle and started searching for the coffee that Travis preferred. He’d drink anything if his favorite brand wasn’t available. But, if he could find the… yes, there it was. “I found your coffee, Trav.”
“Wonderful,” he said, not looking up from the cereal box. “But I think there’s a typo on this trivia list.”
“Really,” Ethan asked, dropping the coffee into the cart and reading over Travis’ shoulder. “What’s it say?”
“It says ‘the moon orbits the earth every 27.32 days’.” He lowered the box and looked at Ethan, confused. “I thought it was the other way around?”
“Well, it says ‘true and false trivia’ so maybe it’s not but wait… what do you mean you think it’s the other way around? The earth revolves around the moon?”
“No,” Travis said, looking up. “No, the question is written wrong it… oh shit,” Travis laughed. “I need more sleep. I misread that. I thought it actually said the Earth revolves around the moon. Good god.”
Rolling his eyes, Ethan gave Travis a one armed hug. “It’s okay, baby. Research always leaves you a little wonky afterwards.” Which was putting it mildly. Travis’ head was stuffed with so much information right now that Ethan was surprised he could function at all. It’d take a couple days for Murph to process it all and he’d be back to his normal, goofy self. Until then, his husband would be randomly dropping bits of useless information and acting discombobulated.
“Well, now that I’ve embarrassed myself,” Travis said, starting to put the box back on the shelf before stopping. “Okay, so wait, maybe this is the fake one.”
Ethan leaned back over Travis’ shoulder, taking in the sweet scent of his husband’s skin. “Which one, this here? Hmm, Dr. Ruth was trained as a sniper by the Israeli military? I’m not sure if I buy that or not, but a Google search when you get home will give you the truth.”
Travis snapped a picture of the back of the box with his phone and returned the cereal to the shelf. “You’re right. And you know what?”
“That would make one hell of a story,” Ethan said, finishing one of Travis’ favorite sayings. “And this time I actually agree with you. A tiny woman with a sniper rifle, robbing a bank on a Friday? I’d read that. What’s next on the list?”
“Ice cream and Twizzlers.”
“Can’t Lawanda feed herself,” Ethan teased, referencing Travis’ muse. The woman only made Travis’ sweet tooth worse.
“You feed me,” Travis said, pressing a kiss to Ethan’s neck, just under his ear, “you feed her. Deal with it.”
Ethan shook his head, defeated. “Whatever you say, Murphy. I’ll buy anything you want as long as it means we can get the hell out of here soon.”
“Get moving towards the ice cream then, baby,” Travis ordered. “We can hit the candy aisle on the way to the checkout.”
“Aye, aye, sir,” Ethan said, taking the cart from Travis and pushing towards the frozen foods aisle.
There wasn’t any choice but to comply because once Travis started a new novel, all bets were off. Lawanda was now in charge and she was a stubborn bitch. But, she could be a fun bitch, too, when the circumstances were right.
“Hey Travis,” Ethan called. “Do we need to stop at the liquor store on the way home, too?”
Travis turned and smiled at Ethan, giving him all the answer he needed. Yeah, his husband was a nut ball, but he was Ethan’s nut ball.
