Sorry Wrong Goddess

[asphaltcowgrrl]

Okay, so I was digging around looking for a particular story this morning, one I had been meaning to look over and give a rewrite to when I came across a very short short that I'd forgotten about.  I thought that, hmm, this would be fun to post and get some reaction to.  So I logged in and found this as a writer's block prompt from LJ:

If you could cast one type of magic spell, which would you choose, and why?

And okay, so I know you don't understand why I find it so amusing yet... but read on, my friends, read on...

(This following bit of insanity was inspired by a prompt from Seventh Sanctum's random spell generator) 

Sorry Wrong Goddess

He whirled his wand in the air and pointed it at the angry shopkeeper. He’d been yelling, screaming and throwing a tantrum for nearly fifteen minutes, ever since the brothers had crashed through his storeroom wall with their stolen go kart. “Hear me now, Goddess Ophisti, save this man from himself!”

A bright green blast of light shot forward out of his wand, hitting the angry man square in the chest. The shopkeeper stumbled backwards, flailing his arms in a desperate attempt to keep his balance. Falling backwards, he landed in a pile of empty boxes that had been scattered by the crash.

All was quiet for about thirty-five seconds when the once-angry shopkeeper leaped up and looked around nervously. Flinging an arm to the side, he smashed a box of Cheez-Its, causing them to fall to the floor, adding to the mess in the storeroom. 

“What the hell is going on here?” the shopkeeper asked quickly. “Why are all these boxes on the floor? Why are you two back here? This is my store and I don’t want you here, can’t have you here, now you’ve gotta go. Didn’t you hear me? You’ve gotta get out of here now before I call the police!”

Roderick looked at his twin, eyes wide. “My gods, he didn’t even take a breath. Who the heck did you invoke anyway?”

Ramos shrugged. “Ophisti, the goddess of calm.”

“No, you dork!” Roderick declared, smacking his younger brother in the head. “Ophelti is the goddess of calm. Ophisti is the goddess of chaos in small doses!”

“Oh crap,” Ramos muttered, paling visibly. “You know what this means then?”

“What? That instead of hitting him with the laser of collected thoughts you hit him with the luminous ray of caffeine? You idiot! Sometimes I’m ashamed to be your twin.”

~Amy, October 19, 2007