Out of Her Hands (Code Red Original Fic)
Jun. 15th, 2015 02:41 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
asphaltcowgrrlTitle: Out of Her Hands
Fandom: Code Red original fiction
Pairing: Gen, Ali Matson + Albert Rogan
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1,363
Summary: Ali stops to look at her life and feels like it’s all beyond her control. And then Albie comes to her rescue.
Author’s Note: Square number 7 for my bingo card. My first fandom (!) and one I rarely write in these days. I miss Ali.
It seemed like every time she turned around, something else was changing. Every year older, she lost something precious, important, and necessary.
A year had passed since she’d said goodbye to her husband, Blake. Six months had gone since he’d requested full custody of their children and won. Despite his erratic touring schedule, he had a strong family presence around him – mother, stepfather, sister – to help care for the kids when he wasn’t able. It was something she didn’t have to give them and so she agreed to the judge’s terms. She was lucky in that her ex’s family wouldn’t ever keep her from her kids, no matter how angry they got at her, even though the end of their marriage hadn’t been on her hands. Rory and Rayna would be happy and well cared for with her in-laws.
Letting her kids go with their father had been the hardest thing she’d had to do in a very long time, but even she understood it was the best thing for them all. Blake’s schedule might be irregular, but hers was downright unpredictable and that’s the only reason she’d given in. Kids needed stability and routine, and she couldn’t provide it, no matter how hard she tried.
“Whatever’s on your mind,” Albie said, taking a seat on the wall beside her, “it can’t be good.”
Ali turned her head to look at the man she loved like a brother. “Thinking about the kids. And Blake by extension. The usual these days, it seems.”
“He,” Albie spit, “is not something you should be thinking about.”
She gave a half shrug. “I know, but when I think about Rory and Rayna, it kind of leads to thinking about Blake.” Ali didn’t speak for a long moment, debating whether she should continue on with her current thoughts. “It’s like when I think about Rhiannah, my mind tends to wander towards Timothé, too. They’re connected by genetics and memories, like it or not.”
Albie didn’t say anything.
“Anyway, why are you here and not out with Davy Crockett?” She hadn’t seen Albie’s best friend for a few hours and that always concerned her. David ‘Bazooka Joe’ Reynolds had a long history of blowing things up when you least expected it.
Albie’s face quirked up into a smile. “He’s got himself a date.”
Now there was a surprise. But she was happy for him. Dave had had too much bad luck when it came to women, it was his turn to be happy. “Good for him. What’s her name?”
“Jorge,” Albie cackled, slapping a knee happily before sobering up. “Said he’d had enough of crazy women. Met this guy at Hanger’s a few weeks ago and they really hit it off.”
Ali smiled again, shaking her head. “I repeat: good for him. I hope he’s happy, even if they simply hang out together.”
“That’s what I told him,” he agreed. “I guess we’ll see.”
Even more things were changing, it seemed. The difference here was that she wouldn’t have to let go of ‘Zook at least. He was like the proverbial bad penny, you couldn’t get rid of the boy if you wanted to. Not that she did, Ali was rather attached to the big dork. “He’ll be fine, Rogan. He’s survived Kat, he’ll get through this, too.”
“Yeah, he’s tough,” Albie agreed. “But you, you’re not as tough as you think. What’s going on with you?”
Sighing, Ali held out her hands. “I don’t even know. First, I lose Blake. Then I lose the kids. Technically, I gave them over into more capable care, but that’s not the point. Rhi’s starting college this fall and I feel like I’m being forced to give up everything that ever meant anything to me.”
She kept quiet on the one thing she routinely had to give up, even though he kept coming back to her. Paulo. The last thing anyone needed to know about was that Brazilian hunk of a criminal. Even so, she still missed him. It’d been a year since she’d seen him, touched him, and nearly six months since she’d last heard from him. At this point, Ali had no idea if he were even above ground.
“Letting go of things is a part of life,” Albert was saying. “As much as it sucks, there’s no getting around it. You have to let go so that you can move on.” He went quiet for a few heartbeats. “Not that you have to let go of your kids, because they’ll always be yours and they’ll always be there, but…”
“Let them have their time in the sun,” she finished for him.
“Yeah,” he said. “That. And Blake, the sooner you get over him, the better. Moving on and finding someone else will do you a world of good.”
She thought again of Paulo. Of melted chocolate eyes and warm lips. “I don’t think I’m ready to date yet.”
“No one says you have to,” he assured her, slinging an arm across her shoulders. “But maybe the next time Dusty or someone asks you out for a drink, say yes. We all love you and only want you to be happy.”
She knew this to be true. Of all the things she’d given up, the one thing she’d managed to hold onto was a large group of loyal, reliable friends. The one sitting beside her was the best and most wonderful of all. “How about you and I go get a cup of coffee before you have to go meet Jo.”
“I think we can do that,” he chuckled. Standing, he held a hand out to her. “I promise, you’ll never have to say goodbye to me.”
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” she admonished him, taking his hand and allowing him to help her to her feet. “I love you too much to lose you, too.”
“What is it my mother always says?” He grinned at her, waiting for her to fill in the rest of the joke.
“You mean that you’re too ornery to die?” Ali laughed and looped her arm through his, directing him towards the little coffee shop they favored. “Yeah, I think that’s the most inspired thing you’re mother’s ever said.”
As she sipped her iced mocha, she felt some of the day’s stress leaving her body. She’d never quite feel at ease again, but she could work with how she felt here and now. Things did have to change, and sometimes that meant giving in to things you don’t necessarily want. Albie was approaching her, sugary blended drink in hand, when she felt the vibration indicating an incoming text in her pocket. Setting her drink on a nearby table, she fished it out of her pocket.
The display showed unknown number where a name should’ve been, but the text itself said it all.
Pensando em você, passarinho.
I’m thinking of you, too, Paulie, she thought, grinning at her phone. She replied back simply. Fique seguro. Stay safe, because Lord knew, trouble knew his name.
“Something funny,” Albie asked, setting his drink down next to hers.
Feeling guilty, Ali looked up and waved her phone. “Just the kids, as usual.” She showed him a picture Blake had texted earlier in the day of their daughter, Rayna, chasing after a deer that she’d spotted.
“She’s not Blake’s,” Albie laughed. “If she was, she’d have a bow in her hands.”
“You’ve got that right,” Ali agreed. “She got the animal lover’s heart from me, that’s for sure. She’d rather play with the deer than eat them.”
“Come on,” Albie said, picking up his drink. “If I’m late again, Jo will kill me. Even if I blame it on you.”
Ali grinned at him, knowing he was teasing her. She snuck a last peek at the text before deleting it and her reply. The thing that hurt the most about her relationship with Paulo is that nothing was ever permanent. It was fleeting and transient and fragile and that was what worried her the most. “Okay, Rogan, let’s not keep your woman waiting. March.”
She shoved her phone into her pocket and tried not to think about it.
--
End Note: I don't like how this turned out, but I don't think it's awful either. So...
Fandom: Code Red original fiction
Pairing: Gen, Ali Matson + Albert Rogan
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1,363
Summary: Ali stops to look at her life and feels like it’s all beyond her control. And then Albie comes to her rescue.
Author’s Note: Square number 7 for my bingo card. My first fandom (!) and one I rarely write in these days. I miss Ali.
It seemed like every time she turned around, something else was changing. Every year older, she lost something precious, important, and necessary.
A year had passed since she’d said goodbye to her husband, Blake. Six months had gone since he’d requested full custody of their children and won. Despite his erratic touring schedule, he had a strong family presence around him – mother, stepfather, sister – to help care for the kids when he wasn’t able. It was something she didn’t have to give them and so she agreed to the judge’s terms. She was lucky in that her ex’s family wouldn’t ever keep her from her kids, no matter how angry they got at her, even though the end of their marriage hadn’t been on her hands. Rory and Rayna would be happy and well cared for with her in-laws.
Letting her kids go with their father had been the hardest thing she’d had to do in a very long time, but even she understood it was the best thing for them all. Blake’s schedule might be irregular, but hers was downright unpredictable and that’s the only reason she’d given in. Kids needed stability and routine, and she couldn’t provide it, no matter how hard she tried.
“Whatever’s on your mind,” Albie said, taking a seat on the wall beside her, “it can’t be good.”
Ali turned her head to look at the man she loved like a brother. “Thinking about the kids. And Blake by extension. The usual these days, it seems.”
“He,” Albie spit, “is not something you should be thinking about.”
She gave a half shrug. “I know, but when I think about Rory and Rayna, it kind of leads to thinking about Blake.” Ali didn’t speak for a long moment, debating whether she should continue on with her current thoughts. “It’s like when I think about Rhiannah, my mind tends to wander towards Timothé, too. They’re connected by genetics and memories, like it or not.”
Albie didn’t say anything.
“Anyway, why are you here and not out with Davy Crockett?” She hadn’t seen Albie’s best friend for a few hours and that always concerned her. David ‘Bazooka Joe’ Reynolds had a long history of blowing things up when you least expected it.
Albie’s face quirked up into a smile. “He’s got himself a date.”
Now there was a surprise. But she was happy for him. Dave had had too much bad luck when it came to women, it was his turn to be happy. “Good for him. What’s her name?”
“Jorge,” Albie cackled, slapping a knee happily before sobering up. “Said he’d had enough of crazy women. Met this guy at Hanger’s a few weeks ago and they really hit it off.”
Ali smiled again, shaking her head. “I repeat: good for him. I hope he’s happy, even if they simply hang out together.”
“That’s what I told him,” he agreed. “I guess we’ll see.”
Even more things were changing, it seemed. The difference here was that she wouldn’t have to let go of ‘Zook at least. He was like the proverbial bad penny, you couldn’t get rid of the boy if you wanted to. Not that she did, Ali was rather attached to the big dork. “He’ll be fine, Rogan. He’s survived Kat, he’ll get through this, too.”
“Yeah, he’s tough,” Albie agreed. “But you, you’re not as tough as you think. What’s going on with you?”
Sighing, Ali held out her hands. “I don’t even know. First, I lose Blake. Then I lose the kids. Technically, I gave them over into more capable care, but that’s not the point. Rhi’s starting college this fall and I feel like I’m being forced to give up everything that ever meant anything to me.”
She kept quiet on the one thing she routinely had to give up, even though he kept coming back to her. Paulo. The last thing anyone needed to know about was that Brazilian hunk of a criminal. Even so, she still missed him. It’d been a year since she’d seen him, touched him, and nearly six months since she’d last heard from him. At this point, Ali had no idea if he were even above ground.
“Letting go of things is a part of life,” Albert was saying. “As much as it sucks, there’s no getting around it. You have to let go so that you can move on.” He went quiet for a few heartbeats. “Not that you have to let go of your kids, because they’ll always be yours and they’ll always be there, but…”
“Let them have their time in the sun,” she finished for him.
“Yeah,” he said. “That. And Blake, the sooner you get over him, the better. Moving on and finding someone else will do you a world of good.”
She thought again of Paulo. Of melted chocolate eyes and warm lips. “I don’t think I’m ready to date yet.”
“No one says you have to,” he assured her, slinging an arm across her shoulders. “But maybe the next time Dusty or someone asks you out for a drink, say yes. We all love you and only want you to be happy.”
She knew this to be true. Of all the things she’d given up, the one thing she’d managed to hold onto was a large group of loyal, reliable friends. The one sitting beside her was the best and most wonderful of all. “How about you and I go get a cup of coffee before you have to go meet Jo.”
“I think we can do that,” he chuckled. Standing, he held a hand out to her. “I promise, you’ll never have to say goodbye to me.”
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” she admonished him, taking his hand and allowing him to help her to her feet. “I love you too much to lose you, too.”
“What is it my mother always says?” He grinned at her, waiting for her to fill in the rest of the joke.
“You mean that you’re too ornery to die?” Ali laughed and looped her arm through his, directing him towards the little coffee shop they favored. “Yeah, I think that’s the most inspired thing you’re mother’s ever said.”
As she sipped her iced mocha, she felt some of the day’s stress leaving her body. She’d never quite feel at ease again, but she could work with how she felt here and now. Things did have to change, and sometimes that meant giving in to things you don’t necessarily want. Albie was approaching her, sugary blended drink in hand, when she felt the vibration indicating an incoming text in her pocket. Setting her drink on a nearby table, she fished it out of her pocket.
The display showed unknown number where a name should’ve been, but the text itself said it all.
Pensando em você, passarinho.
I’m thinking of you, too, Paulie, she thought, grinning at her phone. She replied back simply. Fique seguro. Stay safe, because Lord knew, trouble knew his name.
“Something funny,” Albie asked, setting his drink down next to hers.
Feeling guilty, Ali looked up and waved her phone. “Just the kids, as usual.” She showed him a picture Blake had texted earlier in the day of their daughter, Rayna, chasing after a deer that she’d spotted.
“She’s not Blake’s,” Albie laughed. “If she was, she’d have a bow in her hands.”
“You’ve got that right,” Ali agreed. “She got the animal lover’s heart from me, that’s for sure. She’d rather play with the deer than eat them.”
“Come on,” Albie said, picking up his drink. “If I’m late again, Jo will kill me. Even if I blame it on you.”
Ali grinned at him, knowing he was teasing her. She snuck a last peek at the text before deleting it and her reply. The thing that hurt the most about her relationship with Paulo is that nothing was ever permanent. It was fleeting and transient and fragile and that was what worried her the most. “Okay, Rogan, let’s not keep your woman waiting. March.”
She shoved her phone into her pocket and tried not to think about it.
--
End Note: I don't like how this turned out, but I don't think it's awful either. So...
