Huh?

[asphaltcowgrrl]

So, I've reached the end of Held Hostage by Morticia Knight, book 4 in the Sin City Uniforms series.  (Link will take you to the publisher's site, but you can find it a Amazon, too.)  Overall, the series has been pretty decent.  My major issues being stupid mistakes (referring to it as the Fashion Mall instead of the Fashion SHOW Mall) made by the author, ridiculous scenarios for the 'police' part of the story (she's a romance author not James Patterson, so I'll cut her some slack here), and sometimes just idiocy on the parts of the men involved in the books.  But eh, all of the above sometimes happens and you can still have a good book, right?

In addition to featuring a uniform of some kind - firemen in  book 1, a police officer in book 2, a homicide detective in book 3, SWAT in this book, this series is also erotic romance.  Some pretty steamy erotic romance at that.  Most of it has been pretty vanilla, and there's nothing wrong with that.  This fourth book amps it up a bit by adding some (very) mild BDSM into the mix.  None of that bothers me and, although BDSM isn't my usual kink, I will read it if it fits with the story line.

(WARNING: the following does contain some sexual spoilers, I guess you'd call them, for this novel.  Read at your own risk.)

What I don't get is this:  During one of their first encounters, Cole tells Brett that he loves how smooth his whole body is. Nice, eh?  Then Cole proceeds to tell Brett that his hole needs to be as smooth as the rest of him and that Cole would love to wax it for him sometime.

Wait. What?

Oh, okay, that was just some misplaced dirty talk that didn't quite come out like you intended.  Gotcha.  Please, continue.

But then... it isn't.  In the eplilogue, Cole actually waxes Brett's hole.  Is it just me or is this just not sexy at all?  Especially since Brett screams the first time Cole rips that wax off.  *straight face*  I once spilled hot wax on my arm, I think we all have at this point in our lives.  That hurt like mother-mother so I can't even begin to understand what Brett's going through at this moment and yet, all Cole wants is to plow his newly waxed boyfriend ASAP.

Poor Brett.

I - I just don't even know what to think about this. It is not exciting or arousing or anything as far as I'm concerned.  But it was consenusal as Brett refused to use his safe word so I can't complain there (not that I would... I'd just say 'not my kink' but please, proceed.).  I think that I'm just more astounded than anything because, of all the weird things I've read (hello The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty), this is probably the oddest bit of foreplay ever.  And I've read a ton of erotica over the years.  How are authors missing out on this?

Anyway... not that I expect anyone to be as shocked as I was, but I still had to share either way.  Why?  Because you're sitting there, right now, laughing your unwaxed holes off, aren't you?  Oh, and if they ARE waxed?  I don't even want to know, k?

Comments

[skyesurfer12.livejournal.com]

LOL!

*doesn't even need to turn her head to check*

All right, I do appreciate the warning. I have book 2 waiting patiently on my tablet, but you know what? By the time I get to 3, I'm sure you'll have some other tasty recs for me. No one knows my kinks better. And nary a waxed asshole among all my plethora of words ;)

[asphaltcowgrrl.livejournal.com]

I - yeah.

I do have to say that, if you make it through #2 and #3, book 4 really was the best as far as I was concerned. Even if Cole is a dumbass (no pun intended) at times.

I'd say I'd let you know about the series I'm starting today, but it's urban fantasy and you've said you're not into paranormal/fantasy stuff so... maybe not? Although the idea of a straight-laced elf cop tickles my fancy (and makes me want to write that fantasy CL AU even more...).