Alibis (White Pine Original Fiction)
Jan. 7th, 2016 03:39 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
asphaltcowgrrlTitle: Alibis
Fandom: White Pine original fiction
Pairing: It’s a secret. :D
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1,100
Summary: Ethan mulls over his mistakes, focusing on the biggest one he thinks he’s ever made.
Author’s Notes: For![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
haldoor because she asked. Also, since this fits the first part of the A to Z Challenge, I’m claiming this to be A for Alibis (a la Sue Grafton). Lyrics come from Tracy Lawrence’s “Alibis”.
She once thought that love wasn’t just a game
Generally speaking, Ethan wasn’t the type to wallow in his failures, but sometimes it was inevitable. A particular date, a certain song, whatever it was, there were triggers to every bad memory and when something was let loose, he was hard pressed to fight it.
Things started out innocently, they always do. An item was misplaced, a time or two his phone calls went straight to voice mail. And then, one by one, the pieces began falling into place. The picture became clear. That was when Ethan began to berate himself. He was a detective after all, right? Why the hell hadn’t he figured it out before now?
How could he have been so blind as to not know his husband was cheating on him?
His father had always told him he was too trusting. Ethan hadn’t ever believed him because lord only knew, Arthur McDowell had instilled more than a little distrust and cynicism in all of his children. But this time, maybe he had worn the rose colored glasses longer than he’d needed.
Sighing, Ethan shook his head. It was too late to worry about it now. It was in the past and therefore unrepairable. His only choice was to learn to live with the guilt and heartache that came with it all.
Her feelings once came from the heart
They hadn’t been together terribly long, but long enough that Ethan had believed it to be forever in the making. Or, at least Ethan had thought so at the time. He’d obviously been wrong, but not like it was the first time that had happened. Seemed like he was always wrong in one way or another when it came to affairs of the heart.
He’d been a fool and he was still paying for his idiocy every day of his life. How he wished he could erase the betrayal from his mind and start anew, learn to trust again, to find love again. But it was stupid to want something like that, to hope for something so impossible it hurt. He was stupid to have ever fallen for the fairytale in the first place.
One day I gave her a wedding ring
Walking to the small, hand-carved box that sat on the dresser, Ethan removed the single gold band that lay within. The touch of the metal to his skin burned, as if he were fae and the ring made of iron. Maybe if he held it long enough, it’d poison his blood and end the torment he found himself living in, dwelling over. The ring had once meant everything in the world to him, but no longer. There were too many lies, too many deceptions attached to it now to be anything but a reminder of all that he’d done wrong in his life.
And yet, he still held onto it. Maybe he was a masochist after all. Truth was, he held onto the relationship long after it was over simply because leaving had been too hard. He’d put so much work into making it all perfect that walking away hadn’t been an option. More the fool he was for ever thinking he could fix what had been so irreparably broken by infidelity.
In one night I tore all those feelings apart
He dropped the ring back into the box and looked down at the kitten pawing at his leg. Brennan always was the intuitive one of the pair, leaving Ryan to be the muscle when things got tough. Ethan picked her up and cuddled her to his chest, taking solace in the warmth of her body and the sound of her contented purr. Turning a corner, he nearly ran into the body just down the hall.
“Are you okay,” Travis asked, reaching out a hand towards his husband.
“Of course,” he lied, unable to talk to Travis about this. Not now, not ever. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
Murphy pointed at the calico cat in his arms. “You’re carrying Brennan and I’m not sure I’ve ever seen you hold either of the cats outside of evicting them from wherever they’re sleeping.”
Busted. “She was pawing at my leg and looking pitiful. I thought I’d give in this once.”
He knew Travis knew he was lying by the sad smile on his husband’s face. But he was just going to have to wonder because this was a secret Ethan couldn’t ever share. It didn’t matter how much Murph loved him, he’d never forgive Ethan for not telling him he’d been married before. Especially since it had ended so disastrously.
It had taken too long to earn back Travis’ trust. He wasn’t about to break it again so soon. They’d only just gotten married and he wanted this honeymoon to last just a tiny bit longer. Something to give him hope that he wasn’t as broken as Reid always said he was. Even though Reid had been the dishonest one, in the end, it had all been Ethan’s fault once the dust had settled.
Meeting Travis had changed him, had made Ethan into a better person. And because of the entire Murphy clan, he was learning to trust and to love again. He’d be damned if he was going to throw that away over an old memory. There was enough time for them to figure out that he was damaged and not worth Travis’ love on their own, why rush things?
“Ethan?”
He forced a smile and set the kitten on the floor. Brennan gave him the sort of nasty look only a cat was capable of and stalked off to find her partner in crime. Ethan shook his head at the cat and turned back to his husband. “I’m fine, Trav. Really. You want some dinner?”
It was a dirty trick, but he knew the best way to distract Travis was by offering either food or sex. Seeing as his guilty conscience was keeping sex off the table, food worked just as well. He listened to Travis talk about what was in the cupboards – always with the option of running into town for a pizza or a stop at the diner – and knew the ploy had worked. Twisting the ring on his left hand, Ethan promised himself he’d get rid of the other golden band, the one that had lost all its meaning but still held more importance than he wanted to admit. Maybe he should toss it in the lake and pretend like it was Mount Doom.
God help him, Travis was beginning to rub off after all.
--
I had you worried for a minute there, didn’t I? Please don't hate me.
Story continues here.
Fandom: White Pine original fiction
Pairing: It’s a secret. :D
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1,100
Summary: Ethan mulls over his mistakes, focusing on the biggest one he thinks he’s ever made.
Author’s Notes: For
haldoor because she asked. Also, since this fits the first part of the A to Z Challenge, I’m claiming this to be A for Alibis (a la Sue Grafton). Lyrics come from Tracy Lawrence’s “Alibis”.She once thought that love wasn’t just a game
Generally speaking, Ethan wasn’t the type to wallow in his failures, but sometimes it was inevitable. A particular date, a certain song, whatever it was, there were triggers to every bad memory and when something was let loose, he was hard pressed to fight it.
Things started out innocently, they always do. An item was misplaced, a time or two his phone calls went straight to voice mail. And then, one by one, the pieces began falling into place. The picture became clear. That was when Ethan began to berate himself. He was a detective after all, right? Why the hell hadn’t he figured it out before now?
How could he have been so blind as to not know his husband was cheating on him?
His father had always told him he was too trusting. Ethan hadn’t ever believed him because lord only knew, Arthur McDowell had instilled more than a little distrust and cynicism in all of his children. But this time, maybe he had worn the rose colored glasses longer than he’d needed.
Sighing, Ethan shook his head. It was too late to worry about it now. It was in the past and therefore unrepairable. His only choice was to learn to live with the guilt and heartache that came with it all.
Her feelings once came from the heart
They hadn’t been together terribly long, but long enough that Ethan had believed it to be forever in the making. Or, at least Ethan had thought so at the time. He’d obviously been wrong, but not like it was the first time that had happened. Seemed like he was always wrong in one way or another when it came to affairs of the heart.
He’d been a fool and he was still paying for his idiocy every day of his life. How he wished he could erase the betrayal from his mind and start anew, learn to trust again, to find love again. But it was stupid to want something like that, to hope for something so impossible it hurt. He was stupid to have ever fallen for the fairytale in the first place.
One day I gave her a wedding ring
Walking to the small, hand-carved box that sat on the dresser, Ethan removed the single gold band that lay within. The touch of the metal to his skin burned, as if he were fae and the ring made of iron. Maybe if he held it long enough, it’d poison his blood and end the torment he found himself living in, dwelling over. The ring had once meant everything in the world to him, but no longer. There were too many lies, too many deceptions attached to it now to be anything but a reminder of all that he’d done wrong in his life.
And yet, he still held onto it. Maybe he was a masochist after all. Truth was, he held onto the relationship long after it was over simply because leaving had been too hard. He’d put so much work into making it all perfect that walking away hadn’t been an option. More the fool he was for ever thinking he could fix what had been so irreparably broken by infidelity.
In one night I tore all those feelings apart
He dropped the ring back into the box and looked down at the kitten pawing at his leg. Brennan always was the intuitive one of the pair, leaving Ryan to be the muscle when things got tough. Ethan picked her up and cuddled her to his chest, taking solace in the warmth of her body and the sound of her contented purr. Turning a corner, he nearly ran into the body just down the hall.
“Are you okay,” Travis asked, reaching out a hand towards his husband.
“Of course,” he lied, unable to talk to Travis about this. Not now, not ever. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
Murphy pointed at the calico cat in his arms. “You’re carrying Brennan and I’m not sure I’ve ever seen you hold either of the cats outside of evicting them from wherever they’re sleeping.”
Busted. “She was pawing at my leg and looking pitiful. I thought I’d give in this once.”
He knew Travis knew he was lying by the sad smile on his husband’s face. But he was just going to have to wonder because this was a secret Ethan couldn’t ever share. It didn’t matter how much Murph loved him, he’d never forgive Ethan for not telling him he’d been married before. Especially since it had ended so disastrously.
It had taken too long to earn back Travis’ trust. He wasn’t about to break it again so soon. They’d only just gotten married and he wanted this honeymoon to last just a tiny bit longer. Something to give him hope that he wasn’t as broken as Reid always said he was. Even though Reid had been the dishonest one, in the end, it had all been Ethan’s fault once the dust had settled.
Meeting Travis had changed him, had made Ethan into a better person. And because of the entire Murphy clan, he was learning to trust and to love again. He’d be damned if he was going to throw that away over an old memory. There was enough time for them to figure out that he was damaged and not worth Travis’ love on their own, why rush things?
“Ethan?”
He forced a smile and set the kitten on the floor. Brennan gave him the sort of nasty look only a cat was capable of and stalked off to find her partner in crime. Ethan shook his head at the cat and turned back to his husband. “I’m fine, Trav. Really. You want some dinner?”
It was a dirty trick, but he knew the best way to distract Travis was by offering either food or sex. Seeing as his guilty conscience was keeping sex off the table, food worked just as well. He listened to Travis talk about what was in the cupboards – always with the option of running into town for a pizza or a stop at the diner – and knew the ploy had worked. Twisting the ring on his left hand, Ethan promised himself he’d get rid of the other golden band, the one that had lost all its meaning but still held more importance than he wanted to admit. Maybe he should toss it in the lake and pretend like it was Mount Doom.
God help him, Travis was beginning to rub off after all.
--
I had you worried for a minute there, didn’t I? Please don't hate me.
Story continues here.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2016-01-08 12:38 am (UTC)You did have me all 'Wait... what just happened?' there for a minute! You evil thing, you!
I just want Travis to give the poor guy a hug now and tell him everything's gonna be okay!
Looking forward to seeing how you do with the letter B in due course! ;-)
no subject
Date: 2016-01-08 08:58 pm (UTC)But yes, Ethan needs a big hug and some reminders that he's loved and needed.
Hahaha... :D
Thanks! Not sure if I should continue with this or start something new. Guess I'll figure it out when kaige calls the next letter. (But Tracy Lawrence has a song called "Better Man, Better Off" that would work for sequel...)
no subject
Date: 2016-01-09 01:37 am (UTC)You know you want to!
no subject
Date: 2016-01-09 04:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-01-10 10:03 pm (UTC)And that icon (which I am still quite proud of) reminds me that I just finished watching Wet Hot American Summer: The First Day on Netflix. So funny, and he's so cool yet dorky in that! ;-)
no subject
Date: 2016-01-11 05:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-01-08 05:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-01-08 05:30 pm (UTC)And yes, yes he does (not that he usually needs much encouragement in that department)!
no subject
Date: 2016-01-21 11:53 pm (UTC)So telling, the line about how after all the dust had settled, it was Ethan's fault anyway. He can fall into that victim role without too much twitching, but ... I blame his family for that ;)
Travis does deserve to know ... and they do need to toss it in a lake. Just not their lake. :)
no subject
Date: 2016-01-22 02:30 am (UTC)Oh, it's absolutely his family's fault. When you are always forced to bear the brunt of the guilt and responsibility, it becomes a habit after a while and you start to take it on automatically.
Travis will eventually find out because how can he not? But how and when and why is still up in the air (not really, but I'm still not sharing!).