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asphaltcowgrrlTitle: The Rules According to Trish
Fandom: Romani Detective Original Fiction
Pairing: Andrej Zeklos/James Rosewood/Zayne Reyes
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1,397
Summary: Much like Leroy Jethro Gibbs, Trish Rollins has her own set of rules for life.
Author’s Notes: Written for the Numbers Challenge at![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
1_million_words. The number was 65 and now that I’m done with this, all I can think is, “23-19! We have a 23-19!” And if you get that reference, you’re as dorky as I am. <3
“I’m going to cite Rule Twenty-Three,” Trish said, waving her hands in Hilary’s face, “and leave it at that.”
“Oh god, Trish,” Hil spluttered. “You can’t do that.”
“I can,” the redhead jeered, “and I just did. That guy you went out with last night? Total Twenty-Three.”
“But it’s not true,” Maxwell declared, sticking her tongue out at her partner. “It can’t be true!”
“Real mature, Hil,” Trish chuckled. “And it so is true.”
“Just as mature as you citing Rule Twenty-Three!” Maxwell planted her hands on her hips and glared at her partner.
James sidestepped the arguing women and perched on the edge of Reyes’ desk since the Texan wasn’t anywhere to be found. “What’s Rule Twenty-Three,” he asked Zeklos, who was at his desk, scribbling notes onto a pad of paper.
Andrej looked up from his case file long enough to acknowledge James’ presence before turning back to his work. “Rule Twenty-Three states that any man or woman who ranks at a ten on a scale of ten is undoubtedly gay. Or,” he flicked his eyes up at James, “in Trish’s case, straight.”
“This has happened to her enough that she has a rule for it?” James looked over at the two women who were still squaring off for battle.
“Rollins has a rule for everything,” Zayne said, poking Rosewood in the thigh as he moved past the narco. Sitting at his desk, he nodded at Andrej. “Doesn’t she, Zek?”
“She does,” he confirmed.
“Do I need to remind you of your ex-boyfriend, Hil?” Trish gave her a look of mock astonishment, goading the brunette. “He’s pretty close to being an eleven.”
“That’s not really the best example of your rule, honey.” Hilary caught Zayne’s gaze and held it, giving him a heated once-over. “Although, I can’t deny that he damn well is an eleven.”
Zayne made a face. “Did I miss something?”
“She just used you to prove her point,” Andrej said, pointing his pen in the girls’ direction, eyes staying focused on his page. “Not entirely accurate, but it suits her need.”
“Wait,” Zayne said, “she what? I am not a Twenty-Three!”
“Aren’t you though,” Trish asked, strolling up and stopping beside James. “There’s a narco on your desk Reyes.”
“He needs to be Elevened, Trish,” Hilary suggested.
“No he does not,” Zeklos growled from his side of the desks.
“If someone could be bothered to explain this rule to me, maybe I can shed a little light on whether I do or don’t?” He gave the girls wide, blue eyes and waited.
“Trust me, James, you don’t need to be Elevened.” Reyes’ verbal reassurance was followed with a playful pat on the knee.
Trish pointed at Zayne’s hand, still lingering on Rosewood’s knee. “Do you see what I mean? And he was The One, or so you’d said.”
“Shhh,” Maxwell hissed. “You promised me you’d never say that in public.”
Snatching his hand away from the narco’s knee, Zayne glared at the women. “I’m sexually fluid, I’ll have you know.”
“Your sexuality is fluid, Zayne,” Andrej amended.
“Does anyone else find it odd that Andy’s the one correcting Reyes’ English?” Trish patted Zek on the head. “We should mark that one on the calendar.”
“Point for Andy,” James snorted. Turning his attention back to his boyfriend, he grinned. “I don’t know, Andy, I’m inclined to believe he is sexually fluid. You have seen what he can do in the bedroom, right?”
“Hey,” Zayne said, blushing. “I don’t think –”
“Of course Andy’s seen what he can do, but –“
“– the real question is how do you know,” Trish finished for Hilary. “C’mon, baby. Hook a girl up with some juicy gossip!”
“Rule Sixty-Five,” Zeklos shouted, slamming a hand onto the file he’d been reading. “I’m invoking Rule Sixty-Five and you will not stop me.”
Frowning, Maxwell rolled her eyes. “Figures,” she said, winking at Zayne. “I was hoping to have something to dish about over lunch.”
“You’re such a spoil sport, Andrej,” Trish added. “Let’s go, Hil. We can create our own gossip while we eat. I bet we could come up with a few interesting theories on how the narco knows how flexible Zayne is.”
“And how do you know,” James asked Rollins. “I thought men weren’t in your wheelhouse?”
Trish shrugged. “We’re girls, we talk.”
“They do, too,” Zayne said, watching them leave the room. “They talk a lot, about everything.” He gave a mock shudder.
“Is he going to be okay,” James asked, pointing at Zeklos. Andrej’s head was in his hands, elbows resting on his desk calendar. They could see his back rising and falling as he inhaled deeply and blew his breath out harshly. “He looks like he’s about to hyperventilate.”
“They embarrassed him,” Reyes said. “Give him four or five minutes and he’ll be fine. Although, he’s never invoked Rule Sixty-Five before. They must’ve really pushed his last button.”
“What’s Rule Sixty-Five,” James asked. “And why hasn’t he ever used it before?”
“Probably because no one’s ever stuck their nose into his love life until he started dating you,” Zayne said standing and moving around James. Reaching down, he squeezed the spots between Zeklos’ shoulders and his neck, massaging the tension out of his partner’s body. “Or us now, I guess.”
“So,” James said, moving from Zayne’s desktop to Andrej’s. “The rule?”
“Rule Sixty-Five states that at any time, for any reason, any one of us can tell the rest to get the fuck out and leave the person seeking asylum alone.”
“And he’s never invoked that one before,” James asked. “I find that hard to believe.”
“Hey, asshole,” Reyes rumbled, “watch it or I’ll take your side of the bed tonight.”
“Ah-hah,” an excited, feminine voice squealed. “I knew it!”
“We knew it,” Hilary corrected.
“Oh shit,” James laughed, hiding his reddening face behind his hand. “Weren’t you two going to lunch?”
“Sixty-Five,” Zeklos muttered into his hands. “What about Rule Sixty-Five?”
“It doesn’t apply in situations like this,” Hilary informed him.
“Yeah,” Trish agreed. “Rule Sixty-Five falls flat in the face of this kind of revelation! You’ve got to read the fine print, sweetheart.”
“So, who’s going to spill the deets,” Maxwell begged, sliding onto Zayne’s desk. “Someone’s got to tell me how long this has been going on.”
“What did he just say?” Trish pointed at Zeklos, still muttering in his native tongue, face hidden behind his long fingers.
“I’m not exactly sure,” Zayne began, drawing each syllable out for dramatic effect, “but I think it roughly translates to ‘fuck off and die’. Although, I could be wrong.”
Trish looked at James and rolled her eyes. “How do you deal with these two? I’d strangle the cowboy after ten minutes.”
James gave said cowboy an affectionate glance. “Ask your partner,” he suggested. “I’m sure that her reasons for putting up with his brand of crazy aren’t any different than mine.”
“Mmm,” she said, nodding her head. “I’ve heard things about that mouth of his.”
James’ face brightened while Zayne’s reddened to a color Rosewood hadn’t ever seen on him before. “Oh yeah, and his mouth is only the tip of the iceberg.”
“Oh my,” she murmured. “That’s…. fascinating, James. And now, we really need to go have lunch.”
“And possibly a cigarette,” Hilary chuckled.
“Please,” Zeklos begged. “Kill me now. You can even use my service weapon, I won’t tell. Just make this humiliation stop.”
“Don’t know why you’re so bothered by this, Andy. It’s Zayne they’ve been teasing.”
“Maybe,” Reyes stepped in. “But the minute they catch him alone? They’ll show him no mercy.”
“Oh,” he said, understanding finally. “We’ll have to make sure that he’s either never alone or that we’re on call to take care of the emotional strain they’ve put on him.”
“I like the sounds of that,” Zayne agreed. “You’ve got yourself a deal. Think we ought to take him to um, ‘lunch’ and put this new rule into practice?”
“Yes,” James said, “and we can dub this Rosewood’s Law of Embarrassment: Anytime any one of us is embarrassed to the point of swearing and/or muttering in a language other than English, the other two must swoop in and save the day by any means necessary.”
“And does ‘by any means necessary’ mean sex?”
“Yes, it does, Zayne,” James grinned. “Yes it does.”
“Sign me up, baby.”
Fandom: Romani Detective Original Fiction
Pairing: Andrej Zeklos/James Rosewood/Zayne Reyes
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1,397
Summary: Much like Leroy Jethro Gibbs, Trish Rollins has her own set of rules for life.
Author’s Notes: Written for the Numbers Challenge at
1_million_words. The number was 65 and now that I’m done with this, all I can think is, “23-19! We have a 23-19!” And if you get that reference, you’re as dorky as I am. <3“I’m going to cite Rule Twenty-Three,” Trish said, waving her hands in Hilary’s face, “and leave it at that.”
“Oh god, Trish,” Hil spluttered. “You can’t do that.”
“I can,” the redhead jeered, “and I just did. That guy you went out with last night? Total Twenty-Three.”
“But it’s not true,” Maxwell declared, sticking her tongue out at her partner. “It can’t be true!”
“Real mature, Hil,” Trish chuckled. “And it so is true.”
“Just as mature as you citing Rule Twenty-Three!” Maxwell planted her hands on her hips and glared at her partner.
James sidestepped the arguing women and perched on the edge of Reyes’ desk since the Texan wasn’t anywhere to be found. “What’s Rule Twenty-Three,” he asked Zeklos, who was at his desk, scribbling notes onto a pad of paper.
Andrej looked up from his case file long enough to acknowledge James’ presence before turning back to his work. “Rule Twenty-Three states that any man or woman who ranks at a ten on a scale of ten is undoubtedly gay. Or,” he flicked his eyes up at James, “in Trish’s case, straight.”
“This has happened to her enough that she has a rule for it?” James looked over at the two women who were still squaring off for battle.
“Rollins has a rule for everything,” Zayne said, poking Rosewood in the thigh as he moved past the narco. Sitting at his desk, he nodded at Andrej. “Doesn’t she, Zek?”
“She does,” he confirmed.
“Do I need to remind you of your ex-boyfriend, Hil?” Trish gave her a look of mock astonishment, goading the brunette. “He’s pretty close to being an eleven.”
“That’s not really the best example of your rule, honey.” Hilary caught Zayne’s gaze and held it, giving him a heated once-over. “Although, I can’t deny that he damn well is an eleven.”
Zayne made a face. “Did I miss something?”
“She just used you to prove her point,” Andrej said, pointing his pen in the girls’ direction, eyes staying focused on his page. “Not entirely accurate, but it suits her need.”
“Wait,” Zayne said, “she what? I am not a Twenty-Three!”
“Aren’t you though,” Trish asked, strolling up and stopping beside James. “There’s a narco on your desk Reyes.”
“He needs to be Elevened, Trish,” Hilary suggested.
“No he does not,” Zeklos growled from his side of the desks.
“If someone could be bothered to explain this rule to me, maybe I can shed a little light on whether I do or don’t?” He gave the girls wide, blue eyes and waited.
“Trust me, James, you don’t need to be Elevened.” Reyes’ verbal reassurance was followed with a playful pat on the knee.
Trish pointed at Zayne’s hand, still lingering on Rosewood’s knee. “Do you see what I mean? And he was The One, or so you’d said.”
“Shhh,” Maxwell hissed. “You promised me you’d never say that in public.”
Snatching his hand away from the narco’s knee, Zayne glared at the women. “I’m sexually fluid, I’ll have you know.”
“Your sexuality is fluid, Zayne,” Andrej amended.
“Does anyone else find it odd that Andy’s the one correcting Reyes’ English?” Trish patted Zek on the head. “We should mark that one on the calendar.”
“Point for Andy,” James snorted. Turning his attention back to his boyfriend, he grinned. “I don’t know, Andy, I’m inclined to believe he is sexually fluid. You have seen what he can do in the bedroom, right?”
“Hey,” Zayne said, blushing. “I don’t think –”
“Of course Andy’s seen what he can do, but –“
“– the real question is how do you know,” Trish finished for Hilary. “C’mon, baby. Hook a girl up with some juicy gossip!”
“Rule Sixty-Five,” Zeklos shouted, slamming a hand onto the file he’d been reading. “I’m invoking Rule Sixty-Five and you will not stop me.”
Frowning, Maxwell rolled her eyes. “Figures,” she said, winking at Zayne. “I was hoping to have something to dish about over lunch.”
“You’re such a spoil sport, Andrej,” Trish added. “Let’s go, Hil. We can create our own gossip while we eat. I bet we could come up with a few interesting theories on how the narco knows how flexible Zayne is.”
“And how do you know,” James asked Rollins. “I thought men weren’t in your wheelhouse?”
Trish shrugged. “We’re girls, we talk.”
“They do, too,” Zayne said, watching them leave the room. “They talk a lot, about everything.” He gave a mock shudder.
“Is he going to be okay,” James asked, pointing at Zeklos. Andrej’s head was in his hands, elbows resting on his desk calendar. They could see his back rising and falling as he inhaled deeply and blew his breath out harshly. “He looks like he’s about to hyperventilate.”
“They embarrassed him,” Reyes said. “Give him four or five minutes and he’ll be fine. Although, he’s never invoked Rule Sixty-Five before. They must’ve really pushed his last button.”
“What’s Rule Sixty-Five,” James asked. “And why hasn’t he ever used it before?”
“Probably because no one’s ever stuck their nose into his love life until he started dating you,” Zayne said standing and moving around James. Reaching down, he squeezed the spots between Zeklos’ shoulders and his neck, massaging the tension out of his partner’s body. “Or us now, I guess.”
“So,” James said, moving from Zayne’s desktop to Andrej’s. “The rule?”
“Rule Sixty-Five states that at any time, for any reason, any one of us can tell the rest to get the fuck out and leave the person seeking asylum alone.”
“And he’s never invoked that one before,” James asked. “I find that hard to believe.”
“Hey, asshole,” Reyes rumbled, “watch it or I’ll take your side of the bed tonight.”
“Ah-hah,” an excited, feminine voice squealed. “I knew it!”
“We knew it,” Hilary corrected.
“Oh shit,” James laughed, hiding his reddening face behind his hand. “Weren’t you two going to lunch?”
“Sixty-Five,” Zeklos muttered into his hands. “What about Rule Sixty-Five?”
“It doesn’t apply in situations like this,” Hilary informed him.
“Yeah,” Trish agreed. “Rule Sixty-Five falls flat in the face of this kind of revelation! You’ve got to read the fine print, sweetheart.”
“So, who’s going to spill the deets,” Maxwell begged, sliding onto Zayne’s desk. “Someone’s got to tell me how long this has been going on.”
“What did he just say?” Trish pointed at Zeklos, still muttering in his native tongue, face hidden behind his long fingers.
“I’m not exactly sure,” Zayne began, drawing each syllable out for dramatic effect, “but I think it roughly translates to ‘fuck off and die’. Although, I could be wrong.”
Trish looked at James and rolled her eyes. “How do you deal with these two? I’d strangle the cowboy after ten minutes.”
James gave said cowboy an affectionate glance. “Ask your partner,” he suggested. “I’m sure that her reasons for putting up with his brand of crazy aren’t any different than mine.”
“Mmm,” she said, nodding her head. “I’ve heard things about that mouth of his.”
James’ face brightened while Zayne’s reddened to a color Rosewood hadn’t ever seen on him before. “Oh yeah, and his mouth is only the tip of the iceberg.”
“Oh my,” she murmured. “That’s…. fascinating, James. And now, we really need to go have lunch.”
“And possibly a cigarette,” Hilary chuckled.
“Please,” Zeklos begged. “Kill me now. You can even use my service weapon, I won’t tell. Just make this humiliation stop.”
“Don’t know why you’re so bothered by this, Andy. It’s Zayne they’ve been teasing.”
“Maybe,” Reyes stepped in. “But the minute they catch him alone? They’ll show him no mercy.”
“Oh,” he said, understanding finally. “We’ll have to make sure that he’s either never alone or that we’re on call to take care of the emotional strain they’ve put on him.”
“I like the sounds of that,” Zayne agreed. “You’ve got yourself a deal. Think we ought to take him to um, ‘lunch’ and put this new rule into practice?”
“Yes,” James said, “and we can dub this Rosewood’s Law of Embarrassment: Anytime any one of us is embarrassed to the point of swearing and/or muttering in a language other than English, the other two must swoop in and save the day by any means necessary.”
“And does ‘by any means necessary’ mean sex?”
“Yes, it does, Zayne,” James grinned. “Yes it does.”
“Sign me up, baby.”
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Date: 2016-03-09 03:02 pm (UTC)I forsee him getting even with his boys and the girls.
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Date: 2016-03-09 05:55 pm (UTC)Oh, and you know it. I just don't know how yet. :D
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Date: 2016-03-13 09:11 am (UTC)Gorgeous! ;-)
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Date: 2016-03-13 05:14 pm (UTC)Thanks. :)