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asphaltcowgrrlTitle: Reindeer Games
Fandom: Romani Detective Original Fiction
Pairing: Andrej Zeklos/James Rosewood/Zayne Reyes
Rating: NC-17-ish
Word Count: 1,858
Summary: Zayne and James are out shopping and get themselves into trouble.
Author’s Note: Written for the Say What challenge at 1_million_words. The prompt was, “It’s beginning to __ a lot like __.”
“It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas,” Zayne groaned, fingering the branch of a fake tree as he passed it. “Do they have to put artificial snow on everything?”
“Yes,” James said, eyeing the flocked trees, ornaments, and candy dishes. “It’s the only way you’d know it was December in the desert otherwise.”
Zayne gave him a withering glare. “It does snow here. Occasionally.”
“That’s not snow,” James said, tugging on Zayne’s arm and moving down the aisle. “It’s what happens when a yeti farts.”
Snorting, Zayne shook his head. “That’s gross although frighteningly accurate.”
“Not that I’d expect someone from Texas to know what real snow is like,” James teased. “Andy gets it though.”
“It doesn’t snow where he’s from,” Zayne said.
“Not around his village, no, but in his country, yes.” He stopped and picked up a stocking with R2-D2 embroidered on it. “Even so, he still knows more about snow than you do.”
Zayne remembered a story Zeklos had told him not long after they met. It was in response to why he’d settled in Las Vegas when he could have stayed anywhere in the US. Zek had arrived in New York City in January and it had been frigid and snowing giving the native Romanian every reason not to linger. “I’m sure it is a lovely city,” Zeklos had told him. “But not in the wintertime.”
“Zek asked us to get him some black dress socks while we were here. Any idea where they keep the damn things?”
“Yeah,” James said, pointing to the other side of the store. “With the clothing, dumbass.”
It shouldn’t have taken them as long as it did to cross Target, but James had a habit of stopping and looking at anything that caught his attention. First it was a cute coffee mug that he thought Zek would like. Then it was some crazy ass pillow that looked like some Scottish sheep Trish had shown him a picture of last week. Now, he was holding a pair of socks with reindeer all over them.
“These are cute, don’t you think?”
It was a shame that the narco was so damn adorable, he thought. Otherwise, it’d be easier to kick him to the curb and steal Zeklos for his own. But, to Zayne’s dismay, he rather kind of liked the jackass redhead, even when he was being ridiculous. “Not on me they wouldn’t be.”
“I once saw something like this on a condom,” James mused, turning the socks over in his hands.
“They make Christmas condoms,” Zayne asked. “I have got to find one of those.”
James looked up from the socks and gave Zayne a look. “You really want to go back to using condoms, Reyes?”
“Well, no,” he said, feeling stupid for having said it, but damn it all, his curiosity had been stirred. “But I would get a kick out of seeing something like that on you. Ho ho ho and all that.”
“I do not understand you sometimes,” James laughed. “Ah, here are the socks Andy likes. Should I get two?”
“Yeah,” Zayne said, taking the socks out of James’ hand and tossing them into the cart. “He has a habit of losing them.”
“More like we have a habit of losing them for him,” James corrected. He grabbed a second pair of black socks and added them to the cart with the reindeer.
“I’m still not wearing those things, gingerbread.”
“I never asked you to, did I?” James wandered away from the socks and started browsing the cutesty Christmas stuff on display. “But would you wear these?”
Zayne looked up from the grey and blue flannel he’d been admiring and glanced at Rosewood two feet away. He was holding a pair of green boxer shorts sporting penguins with antlers. “What the hell do those things say?”
“Nice rack,” James chuckled. “I can think of more appropriate things to write on a pair of boxers though.”
“You’d need to change the animal on them first,” Zayne suggested.
A woman stopped pushing her cart and glared at Zayne. “That’s highly inappropriate,” she scolded.
“What?” Zayne glanced quickly at James before focusing on the woman. “I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about lady, but I said nothing inappropriate.” He’d made a point not to make a comment regarding James’ cock in the middle of Target for that reason. Score himself five bonus points for restraint.
“For once in your life, that’s true, cowboy.”
The lady’s eyes drifted over in the direction of James’ voice, her frown deepening. “I probably should have known.”
“That two men in the underwear department would be talking about their man parts,” James asked. “Yeah, probably.”
They both knew that wasn’t what she was getting at, but James was taking the high road, giving her a chance to back away from the homophobia before she could put her foot in it. Apparently, something in James’ expression got through to her because instead of expanding on her comment, she huffed off towards the women’s wear section.
“I’m sorry,” Zayne said.
“For what, Reyes?” James tossed the boxers into the cart with the other stuff they’d accumulated. “I can’t remember you doing anything requiring an apology.”
“Oh,” he said, staring at the cute little penguins on the green fabric. “That was in case I’d ever made you feel like shit for being gay.” He hadn’t thought he ever had, most of his snide comments had been directed at the fact James had been stalking Zeklos. But, on the off chance he had, well, after that, Zayne wanted to be sure.
“You’re good, Zayne,” he said, ruffling the cowboy’s hair. “You only got on my ass about trying to steal your partner.”
“Good to know,” he said, still staring after the woman. He couldn’t even begin to imagine what she might have said had the narco not intervened. “I don’t know how you put up with that kind of crap.”
“She was meaning you, too, you know.”
“Yeah, I know,” Zayne said. “But this is all new to me still. You and Zek have been dealing with that type of crap for years. Aggravates the hell out of me.”
He didn’t even want to think about what his old friends might have to say about his current state of bisexuality. Hilary had taken it well, better than expected honestly, although Zayne thought that had more to do with Zeklos than anything. Had he gone for any other man, she might have had a fit but, since she adored Zek as much as everyone else seemed to, she was all for it. In the end, he didn’t give a fuck because he was happy and as his mother often reminded him, that was what mattered.
“Yeah,” James shrugged. “You get used to it, although that doesn’t make it any easier not to punch certain assholes. Anyway, I think we have everything, right?”
“Almost,” Zayne said, snagging a pair of camo deer antlers from a rack near the boxers. “You’ll look awfully cute in these when you put those boxers on later.”
“Your ass better be worth that humiliation, Reyes.”
“Oh, you know my ass is more than worth it, Rosewood.”
Yeah, they both were in for one hell of a night.
**
“It’s beginning to feel a lot like a porn set around here,” Zayne snorted.
James was sprawled across the bed, naked and sleeping. One reindeer sock still on his foot, the other lost somewhere in the bedding. Zeklos had been coaxed into the penguin boxers before being quickly coaxed right back out of them. Where they had ended up, Zayne had no idea, but he wasn’t in any rush to find them either. His partner was face down on the other side of the bed, sleeping soundly, leaving Zayne the only one awake.
Shuffling quietly across the room, he did his best to not wake either of his boyfriends. Something crinkled under his foot and he stopped to pick it up. Snickering, he picked the small, familiar package up off the floor and held it between his fingers. One side was white and said ‘Wanna see my Christmas tree?”. When you flipped it over, the other side was transparent and showed a bright green condom inside.
Surprisingly enough, Zeklos had been the one to provide the assortment of Christmas prophylactics. He’d said that they’d been a well-meaning gag gift from someone at the station several years ago. Although he wouldn’t divulge who had given him the rubbers, Zayne was pretty certain it had to have been Trish. No one else would have dared. But even Zek had gotten a laugh out of them. Erotic snowmen, playful gingerbread men, and other unsuitable characters decorated the packages.
“Now that’s inappropriate,” Zayne muttered, smiling. It was also a good damn thing that they didn’t use condoms any longer because these were well past their sell-by date. The peppermint lube that had come with them, however, was still in full working order.
Damn, now he wanted a candy cane.
Never mind, he knew how to fix that. Zayne eyed his lovers, trying to figure out who’d make the better lollypop. James had the right coloring, but Zeklos was so much more fun to suck on.
“I don’t know what the hell you’re thinking about, Reyes,” James muttered, eyes still closed. “But stop it right now.”
“Aw,” Zayne whined. “I was trying to decide which of you would taste better with this candy cane lube rubbed all over your cock. I guess I’ll never know now…”
James’ eyes shot open. “Hey now, don’t be hasty baby. You can start with me and move on to Andy if you need to. But don’t give up yet.”
He knew the narco couldn’t stay no to an offer like that.
**
“Who would have known that his ass would have been the thing that went best with that peppermint lube?”
Andrej looked up from the book in his hand and shook his head. “I am sure that if asked, he would have agreed but you did not give him a chance to answer.”
James looked at Zayne’s sleeping body between them. “I’m sure you’re right, but making sure he can’t breathe well enough to put two words together is a favorite pastime of mine.”
A smile tugged at the corner of Andrej’s mouth. “I cannot fault your taste in hobbies, Jay. I am awfully fond of that one myself.”
“Maybe when he wakes up we can try the other one.”
“What other one,” Andrej asked, tucking a bookmark into his novel and setting it aside.
“This one,” James said, holding up another tube of holiday themed lube. “It says it’s iced gingerbread.” His eyes flicked down at Zayne. “He ought to love that.”
“He will,” Andrej agreed. “And he might exact a bit of revenge on you as well.”
“Bring it on,” James said, curling an arm around his pillow and closing his eyes. “I can’t wait.”
Brushing a lock of hair out of Zayne’s face, Andrej chuckled. These boys of his were too much sometimes, but always worth the hassle.
Fandom: Romani Detective Original Fiction
Pairing: Andrej Zeklos/James Rosewood/Zayne Reyes
Rating: NC-17-ish
Word Count: 1,858
Summary: Zayne and James are out shopping and get themselves into trouble.
Author’s Note: Written for the Say What challenge at 1_million_words. The prompt was, “It’s beginning to __ a lot like __.”
“It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas,” Zayne groaned, fingering the branch of a fake tree as he passed it. “Do they have to put artificial snow on everything?”
“Yes,” James said, eyeing the flocked trees, ornaments, and candy dishes. “It’s the only way you’d know it was December in the desert otherwise.”
Zayne gave him a withering glare. “It does snow here. Occasionally.”
“That’s not snow,” James said, tugging on Zayne’s arm and moving down the aisle. “It’s what happens when a yeti farts.”
Snorting, Zayne shook his head. “That’s gross although frighteningly accurate.”
“Not that I’d expect someone from Texas to know what real snow is like,” James teased. “Andy gets it though.”
“It doesn’t snow where he’s from,” Zayne said.
“Not around his village, no, but in his country, yes.” He stopped and picked up a stocking with R2-D2 embroidered on it. “Even so, he still knows more about snow than you do.”
Zayne remembered a story Zeklos had told him not long after they met. It was in response to why he’d settled in Las Vegas when he could have stayed anywhere in the US. Zek had arrived in New York City in January and it had been frigid and snowing giving the native Romanian every reason not to linger. “I’m sure it is a lovely city,” Zeklos had told him. “But not in the wintertime.”
“Zek asked us to get him some black dress socks while we were here. Any idea where they keep the damn things?”
“Yeah,” James said, pointing to the other side of the store. “With the clothing, dumbass.”
It shouldn’t have taken them as long as it did to cross Target, but James had a habit of stopping and looking at anything that caught his attention. First it was a cute coffee mug that he thought Zek would like. Then it was some crazy ass pillow that looked like some Scottish sheep Trish had shown him a picture of last week. Now, he was holding a pair of socks with reindeer all over them.
“These are cute, don’t you think?”
It was a shame that the narco was so damn adorable, he thought. Otherwise, it’d be easier to kick him to the curb and steal Zeklos for his own. But, to Zayne’s dismay, he rather kind of liked the jackass redhead, even when he was being ridiculous. “Not on me they wouldn’t be.”
“I once saw something like this on a condom,” James mused, turning the socks over in his hands.
“They make Christmas condoms,” Zayne asked. “I have got to find one of those.”
James looked up from the socks and gave Zayne a look. “You really want to go back to using condoms, Reyes?”
“Well, no,” he said, feeling stupid for having said it, but damn it all, his curiosity had been stirred. “But I would get a kick out of seeing something like that on you. Ho ho ho and all that.”
“I do not understand you sometimes,” James laughed. “Ah, here are the socks Andy likes. Should I get two?”
“Yeah,” Zayne said, taking the socks out of James’ hand and tossing them into the cart. “He has a habit of losing them.”
“More like we have a habit of losing them for him,” James corrected. He grabbed a second pair of black socks and added them to the cart with the reindeer.
“I’m still not wearing those things, gingerbread.”
“I never asked you to, did I?” James wandered away from the socks and started browsing the cutesty Christmas stuff on display. “But would you wear these?”
Zayne looked up from the grey and blue flannel he’d been admiring and glanced at Rosewood two feet away. He was holding a pair of green boxer shorts sporting penguins with antlers. “What the hell do those things say?”
“Nice rack,” James chuckled. “I can think of more appropriate things to write on a pair of boxers though.”
“You’d need to change the animal on them first,” Zayne suggested.
A woman stopped pushing her cart and glared at Zayne. “That’s highly inappropriate,” she scolded.
“What?” Zayne glanced quickly at James before focusing on the woman. “I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about lady, but I said nothing inappropriate.” He’d made a point not to make a comment regarding James’ cock in the middle of Target for that reason. Score himself five bonus points for restraint.
“For once in your life, that’s true, cowboy.”
The lady’s eyes drifted over in the direction of James’ voice, her frown deepening. “I probably should have known.”
“That two men in the underwear department would be talking about their man parts,” James asked. “Yeah, probably.”
They both knew that wasn’t what she was getting at, but James was taking the high road, giving her a chance to back away from the homophobia before she could put her foot in it. Apparently, something in James’ expression got through to her because instead of expanding on her comment, she huffed off towards the women’s wear section.
“I’m sorry,” Zayne said.
“For what, Reyes?” James tossed the boxers into the cart with the other stuff they’d accumulated. “I can’t remember you doing anything requiring an apology.”
“Oh,” he said, staring at the cute little penguins on the green fabric. “That was in case I’d ever made you feel like shit for being gay.” He hadn’t thought he ever had, most of his snide comments had been directed at the fact James had been stalking Zeklos. But, on the off chance he had, well, after that, Zayne wanted to be sure.
“You’re good, Zayne,” he said, ruffling the cowboy’s hair. “You only got on my ass about trying to steal your partner.”
“Good to know,” he said, still staring after the woman. He couldn’t even begin to imagine what she might have said had the narco not intervened. “I don’t know how you put up with that kind of crap.”
“She was meaning you, too, you know.”
“Yeah, I know,” Zayne said. “But this is all new to me still. You and Zek have been dealing with that type of crap for years. Aggravates the hell out of me.”
He didn’t even want to think about what his old friends might have to say about his current state of bisexuality. Hilary had taken it well, better than expected honestly, although Zayne thought that had more to do with Zeklos than anything. Had he gone for any other man, she might have had a fit but, since she adored Zek as much as everyone else seemed to, she was all for it. In the end, he didn’t give a fuck because he was happy and as his mother often reminded him, that was what mattered.
“Yeah,” James shrugged. “You get used to it, although that doesn’t make it any easier not to punch certain assholes. Anyway, I think we have everything, right?”
“Almost,” Zayne said, snagging a pair of camo deer antlers from a rack near the boxers. “You’ll look awfully cute in these when you put those boxers on later.”
“Your ass better be worth that humiliation, Reyes.”
“Oh, you know my ass is more than worth it, Rosewood.”
Yeah, they both were in for one hell of a night.
**
“It’s beginning to feel a lot like a porn set around here,” Zayne snorted.
James was sprawled across the bed, naked and sleeping. One reindeer sock still on his foot, the other lost somewhere in the bedding. Zeklos had been coaxed into the penguin boxers before being quickly coaxed right back out of them. Where they had ended up, Zayne had no idea, but he wasn’t in any rush to find them either. His partner was face down on the other side of the bed, sleeping soundly, leaving Zayne the only one awake.
Shuffling quietly across the room, he did his best to not wake either of his boyfriends. Something crinkled under his foot and he stopped to pick it up. Snickering, he picked the small, familiar package up off the floor and held it between his fingers. One side was white and said ‘Wanna see my Christmas tree?”. When you flipped it over, the other side was transparent and showed a bright green condom inside.
Surprisingly enough, Zeklos had been the one to provide the assortment of Christmas prophylactics. He’d said that they’d been a well-meaning gag gift from someone at the station several years ago. Although he wouldn’t divulge who had given him the rubbers, Zayne was pretty certain it had to have been Trish. No one else would have dared. But even Zek had gotten a laugh out of them. Erotic snowmen, playful gingerbread men, and other unsuitable characters decorated the packages.
“Now that’s inappropriate,” Zayne muttered, smiling. It was also a good damn thing that they didn’t use condoms any longer because these were well past their sell-by date. The peppermint lube that had come with them, however, was still in full working order.
Damn, now he wanted a candy cane.
Never mind, he knew how to fix that. Zayne eyed his lovers, trying to figure out who’d make the better lollypop. James had the right coloring, but Zeklos was so much more fun to suck on.
“I don’t know what the hell you’re thinking about, Reyes,” James muttered, eyes still closed. “But stop it right now.”
“Aw,” Zayne whined. “I was trying to decide which of you would taste better with this candy cane lube rubbed all over your cock. I guess I’ll never know now…”
James’ eyes shot open. “Hey now, don’t be hasty baby. You can start with me and move on to Andy if you need to. But don’t give up yet.”
He knew the narco couldn’t stay no to an offer like that.
**
“Who would have known that his ass would have been the thing that went best with that peppermint lube?”
Andrej looked up from the book in his hand and shook his head. “I am sure that if asked, he would have agreed but you did not give him a chance to answer.”
James looked at Zayne’s sleeping body between them. “I’m sure you’re right, but making sure he can’t breathe well enough to put two words together is a favorite pastime of mine.”
A smile tugged at the corner of Andrej’s mouth. “I cannot fault your taste in hobbies, Jay. I am awfully fond of that one myself.”
“Maybe when he wakes up we can try the other one.”
“What other one,” Andrej asked, tucking a bookmark into his novel and setting it aside.
“This one,” James said, holding up another tube of holiday themed lube. “It says it’s iced gingerbread.” His eyes flicked down at Zayne. “He ought to love that.”
“He will,” Andrej agreed. “And he might exact a bit of revenge on you as well.”
“Bring it on,” James said, curling an arm around his pillow and closing his eyes. “I can’t wait.”
Brushing a lock of hair out of Zayne’s face, Andrej chuckled. These boys of his were too much sometimes, but always worth the hassle.
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no subject
Date: 2017-12-08 05:21 am (UTC)Loved the beginning to look like a porn set comment.
Nice to know the boys can shop without getting into the needing bail money kind of trouble.
You on the other hand have been spending entirely too much time in Target of late.
no subject
Date: 2017-12-08 01:13 pm (UTC)I know, right? Have to admit, I was rather shocked myself. They behaved at Christmastime even.
Hahaha... My kid and I are at Target every weekend for one reason or another (truthfully, I think she finds reasons to go)!