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asphaltcowgrrlTitle: Poisonous Discontent Chapter 4
Fandom: Romani Detective Original Fiction
Pairing: Andrej Zeklos/James Rosewood/Zayne Reyes
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 3,045
Summary: Andrej comes home and confronts James.
Author’s Note: I was asked if their issue was more than a simple misunderstanding (because that’s what annoys me most about most romance novels – if the main couple simply talked, they could have avoided so much angst) and hopefully this translates to more than a lack of communication. There’s a lot of macho hubris spurring these two idiots on. Probably only one more chapter and we’re done.
“Holy shit,” James spluttered seeing Andrej on the other side of his apartment door. “You’re back.”
“I am,” he said, smiling sadly. “May I come inside?”
“Yeah, of course,” James said, stepping out of the doorway. “I can’t tell you how happy I am to see you.”
“I am happy to be seen,” he said. “But I am not exactly happy, Jay.”
“Is that why you’re here tonight instead of coming to see me at the station in the morning?”
“Zayne told you I was to return tomorrow?”
James nodded. “He did. We’ve been worried about you.”
Andrej didn’t know how to respond to that so he kept quiet. If they’d had any care for him at all, they would have found a way to work through their differences months ago. Instead, James and Zayne continued to butt heads and cause friction in the household. A little bit of chaos was to be expected when you put two alpha males into a home, but the levels of conflict they often brought was above and beyond.
Sitting in his usual place, James motioned for Andrej to take a seat. He shook his head. “No thank you, Jay. I think I’d rather stand.”
“Are you mad at me?”
“I am – I don’t know what I am,” he said, throwing his hands into the air. “But I am not pleased, I do know that much.”
“I’m sorry,” James said, arms draped across his thighs. “I know that I’m at least partly at fault for your pain.”
He wanted to tell James that he was more than just partly responsible, but that was unfair to all of them, Zayne included. While James had a tendency to bait and antagonize Zayne, Zayne never seemed to have the willpower to resist retaliation. It all made Andrej wonder what part he played in this mess. Did his very presence encourage them to act out? There was a chance he’d never know, but he had his suspicions.
“It doesn’t matter any longer, Jay,” Andrej said, slumping into the recliner beside James. “Zayne has left and will not come home, no matter what I say. He believes that I – that we – are better off.”
James went pale, something that Andrej didn’t think was possible.
“Did he say why he felt that way?”
“He did not,” Andrej lied. There was no use in repeating Zayne’s words to James. By the look of it, the redhead was already blaming himself. “He didn’t need to either, Jay.”
James’ head snapped up. “What does that mean?”
“It means that it is obvious that he feels like he does not belong.” Andrej rubbed a hand across his face. He was in desperate need of a shave, but he’d been too wrapped up in his boyfriends’ drama to bother. “I have known Zayne for a long time and he does not like being the odd man out. It’s easier for him to leave than to learn how to fit.”
“I’ve tried –” James began, but Andrej stopped him.
“I believe you think you’ve tried, but you have not.” Andrej rose to his feet. He ran his hands down the front of his pants, smoothing out wrinkles that hadn’t had time to form. “Neither one of you have tried to accommodate the other’s needs or feelings. There are times when you are in harmony, but more often than not, there is discord.” Seeing the look of disbelief on James’ face, he softened his tone. “I am not placing blame because in the end, I believe the blame is mine. I let this bickering, the competition the – what did Trish call it? Ah, yes, the ‘dick measuring contest’, whatever that might be – go on for too long. If I had stepped in and made you two get along, maybe we wouldn’t be here right now.”
“Look,” James said, standing and holding his arms out to Andrej. “While you maybe should have smacked us around a little more than you did, this time, it’s my fault. I can’t even blame the cowboy for it.”
“What do you mean?”
James wiggled his fingers, encouraging Andrej to move closer. Andrej took three steps towards the ginger, and then stopped. He was afraid if he got any closer, he’d cave and fall into James’ arms. If that wasn’t bad enough, he was positive he’d break down if the redhead so much as touched him.
“I said some pretty horrible shit to him,” James confessed. “Told him he was coming between us, keeping you and me from having any kind of relationship without him involved in some way.”
“You do understand that, even if you and I start seeing one another again, and do not include Zayne, that he will always be a part of us?” He watched James’ face roll through a series of emotions. “He is my partner, Jay, and my friend. Even if we had never been intimate, he would have always been part of us.”
“I do now,” he sighed. James glanced at the door as if expecting company. “Is it so wrong to want you to myself once in a while?”
“No, it is not,” Andrej said, taking the last few steps needed to bring him within James’ grasp. “But he will always be there, just as you will always be there between Zayne and me in some way. It is how this kind of thing works, I suppose.”
“I guess,” James said, fingers skating down the length of Andrej’s arms.
A shiver of pleasure coursed through Andrej’s body. It had been weeks since anyone had touched him like this. He was so ready to give in. “What did he say to push you over the line, Jay? Because he told me you wanted him out of the picture.”
James winced. “Yeah, well, I kinda overreacted, I think.” Andrej raised an eyebrow at that, but remained silent. “I was online one day and he asked me what I was doing. I told him I was trying to think of something special for us to do on our anniversary. His eyes lit up and he asked what we should do. We, Andy. Not me. He even started making suggestions. When you and I started dating, he wormed his way into our dates, our weekends, everything, and it drove me crazy. Reyes trying to wriggle his way into our anniversary – the day you and I started dating – pissed me off. It made me feel like he was trying to push me out so he could have you to himself.”
“Which is highly amusing because he feels like he is being pushed out as well, Jay.” He didn’t mention that he felt like he was being forced out of his own home because that would have only made things worse.
“I think your dictionary failed you,” James muttered. “Because amused does not mean what you think it means.”
“Very funny, Inigo,” Andrej quipped.
“I didn’t think you’d get that,” James laughed.
“I have been living with Zayne for months now, do you have any idea how much television he watches?” Andrej felt the first glimmer of a smile reach his lips. Maybe they could fix this after all. “And it is one of his favorite movies.”
“Why am I not surprised,” James asked. “He probably fancies himself a swashbuckler.”
Andrej was sure James wouldn’t believe Zayne identified more with Fezzik than Westley or Inigo, so he kept that tidbit a secret. “My point still stands, Jay. You both felt like you were being forced to give up something you wanted. I do not understand why you and Zayne cannot come to some kind of agreement.”
“Are you saying he and I need to make a schedule so we know when you belong to us and when we have to share?”
“That is not exactly what I meant,” Andrej said, feeling a little awkward about their discussing who got him when. “But it is a start. I am afraid that Zayne will not be willing.”
“Let me talk to the cowboy,” he said, leaning in and pressing his lips against Andrej’s. “I bet I can convince him to give this – us – another try.”
“How are you going to do that, Jay?” Andrej leaned into the solidness of James’ chest, grateful that he’d managed to break down one wall tonight. “He’s not himself.”
“I’m not sure,” James said, nuzzling his face into Andrej’s hair. “But I’ll figure it out. I have to now.”
He had made Andy a promise, but he was clueless how to carry it out. Even if he could get the cowboy to talk to him, there’s no guarantee that he’d listen. Then there was another problem – he didn’t even know where the fucker was. James did, however, have a hunch.
Picking up his phone, he hit the third contact in his favorites list. “Jake? It’s James. I wonder if you could help me with something.”
“Sure, what’s up?”
“I need an address.”
Jake laughed. “Can’t you get that yourself?”
“Yeah,” James said, “I could, but you’re faster at this shit than I am.”
“Aw,” Jake teased. “Flattery will get you everywhere. Who are you looking for?”
James told him and then noted down the information as it was given to him. “Thanks, Hansen. I owe you lunch.”
“You owe me a lot more than that, Rosewood,” Jake said. “Wanna tell me why you needed this address?”
“Not really,” James admitted. “But if it works out, I’ll explain it all tomorrow.”
“Good enough,” Jake said. “Try not to get arrested. Can’t say I’d be willing to bail you out.”
“So much for ‘partners till the end’, but whatever. Thanks again, man.”
He disconnected the call and tried to put together a plan of action. There were a couple things he needed to get before he went in search of Reyes. James grinned when he realized he could get both at the local grocery store.
“Um, Zayne?”
“Yeah, Hils, what’s up?” He set the remote on the coffee table. There wasn’t crap worth watching anyway.
“That redheaded narco is on the doorstep.”
“What?” Zayne shot to his feet, rubbing his hands together nervously. “Why?”
“How the hell do I know, Reyes,” Hilary said, exasperated. “He’s on the other side of the door!”
“He can hear you, too,” James’ muffled voice said.
“Asshole,” Hilary laughed. “Hope you heard that, too.”
Zayne pushed her gently to the side and peered through the peep hole. “Let me talk to him and I’ll find out what’s going on.”
“Okay,” she said, stepping back. “But leave the door open a crack so I can give Rollins a play by play in the morning.”
Zayne shot her a look. “Very funny.” He stepped outside, making sure to close the door behind him. Although he knew it wouldn’t keep Maxwell from finding a way to listen in, he did it anyway. Why make her spying any easier? She was a detective after all, let her use her skills. “Why are you here?”
James shrugged. “I need to apologize.”
“You want to show me your hands first,” Zayne asked. He motioned to James’ arms which were tucked behind his back. “I know you’re not holding a weapon but it’s freaking me out all the same.”
“Been wearing a badge too long, Reyes,” James said lightly. “But I thought that if I couldn’t convince you to listen to me, maybe I could bribe you?” He brought his left hand out and showed Zayne the bouquet of carnations he was holding.
Zayne snorted. “Flowers, narco? Really?” He shook his head. “As pretty as they are, I might leave those here for Hil”
“That’s fine,” James said. “Hadn’t figured you for a flowers and candy kind of guy anyway, but knew it couldn’t hurt.”
“It’s a gesture,” Zayne agreed, taking the flowers from James and holding them to his nose. “Nice. Hilary will love them.”
“I take it you didn’t bring her flowers very often?”
“Nah,” Zayne said, flushing slightly. “I always brought her more useful things.”
“Like condoms?”
“Shut up,” Zayne said, his mind flying back to a time when he’d forgotten even those. Shit, and who had held his hand through that scare? Zeklos, of course. “What’s in your other hand?”
“The thing I knew you’d appreciate,” James said, revealing his right hand carrying a six pack of Zayne’s favorite local brew. “I’d have brought food but I didn’t want to waste more time.”
“Food is always a good thing,” Zayne said, stepping closer to the redhead. He took the beer and set both items on the porch behind him. “But you never answered my question – why are you here?”
“I told you I needed to apologize,” James reminded him.
“Yeah,” Zayne said holding out a hand. “But for what? I have a list of things a mile long I could use an ‘I’m sorry’ for right now.”
James’ shoulders slumped. “I guess I shouldn’t have expected this to be easy,” he said. “But I’m fucking trying, can you cut the shit for ten minutes?”
“You hurt me, asshole,” Zayne said, crossing his arms over his chest. His stomach rolled with fear at what he was about to say, to admit to feeling. “You made me feel like I wasn’t good enough for my partner, for you, for anyone really. Treated me like I was intentionally trying to come between you and Zeklos.”
“Isn’t that what you were doing when you tried to insert yourself into the anniversary I was celebrating with him?”
Zayne threw his hands in the air. “What the hell is your problem?” He pointed a finger in James’ direction, trying not to scream at the aggravating redhead. “I was trying to help you. Did I ever say that I wanted to go with you on your date? No. I asked you what we were going to do for Zek, that’s all. You’re the one who jumped to the conclusion I was going to tag along.” He shook his head again, frustrated. “I know him better than you ever will. I wanted to help.”
“Can you blame me though, Reyes?” James took a step forward. “When Andy and I started dating, you showed up everywhere. On our dates. At my apartment. It didn’t matter what we were doing or where we were going, you found a way to insert yourself into the situation.”
“I didn’t know you,” Zayne said, feeling guilty at the memory of stalking Zeklos and James the first time they had lunch together, long before they started dating. “And neither did Zek. I didn’t know if you were on the up and up and I wasn’t going to let my partner get hurt. He spent so much time alone, I was worried he’d fall for the wrong guy and never recover.”
“I guess that makes sense,” James said, looking at his feet. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Because you turned out to be an upstanding guy,” Zayne said. He reached out for James, hesitated, and then figured what the hell. His fingers brushed the fabric of James’ cotton t-shirt, ghosted along the copper hair covering his arm. “And Zeklos was happy. If I told him I was being overprotective because I didn’t trust you, he never would have forgiven me. It’s not fair, I know, but I couldn’t help it. I cared about him, even then, and I couldn’t stand to watch him get his heart broken again.” He’d done enough damage to Zek’s emotional well-being without knowing it, he wasn’t about to add to it after he knew.
“Is there anything I can say or do to make this up to you?”
Zayne sighed. “Take care of Zeklos for me. He loves you and I know – now – that you love him. You’ll be happy together.”
“You know that we’re happier with you, right?” James moved closer again, bringing them within inches of each other. “That what works between Andy and I only gets better with you in it? I never would have believed it, but it’s true.”
“You only brought me into your bed as a joke,” Zayne said. That horrible time after Zeklos’ kidnapping had changed everything for him.
“It never was a joke,” James said. “I might not have wanted it to be permanent, but it wasn’t ever an attempt to make fun of you or to humiliate you.”
“Then why?”
James paled a little. “Because you’re fucking hot, Reyes,” he said. “Who wouldn’t want to have a night with you? And besides, I knew you were Andy’s dream lover. So, why not, right? Have fun, live a little. I didn’t know I was going to like having you around so much.” He leered at Zayne playfully. “Or like having you at my mercy either.”
“I like being with you both, too,” he said. But that wasn’t exactly true. He needed to be with them, had to have their steadying force supporting and guiding him. “But I have to admit, ever since the first time, I’ve been waiting for the inevitable.”
“Being kicked out of the relationship?”
“Yeah,” he said. He reached out for James again, this time making more substantial contact. His hand rested on James’ shoulder, a hair’s breadth from the narco’s neck. “Of wearing out my welcome and being asked to leave. And that’s why what you said hurt so much. It was my nightmare come true.”
“I had no idea,” James said, pulling Zayne into his arms. “And I really am sorry. I was so worried that Andy would choose you over me that I didn’t even consider why you were asking.”
Zayne wrapped his arms around James’ shoulders. “I get it, narco. I really do.”
“So,” he said, pulling back and looking Zayne in the face. “Does that mean you’ll come home?”
“I don’t know if I can,” he said.
“Do you think you can try?” James rested a hand against Zayne’s chest, thumb brushing arcs against Zayne’s shirt. “I know that this is far from fixed, but it’ll be easier to work this through if we’re all together.”
“I don’t know,” he said. “I don’t feel like I belong anymore.”
“Try,” James said. “For me? For us?”
A smile tugged at the corners of Zayne’s mouth. “Okay. For us.”
Fandom: Romani Detective Original Fiction
Pairing: Andrej Zeklos/James Rosewood/Zayne Reyes
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 3,045
Summary: Andrej comes home and confronts James.
Author’s Note: I was asked if their issue was more than a simple misunderstanding (because that’s what annoys me most about most romance novels – if the main couple simply talked, they could have avoided so much angst) and hopefully this translates to more than a lack of communication. There’s a lot of macho hubris spurring these two idiots on. Probably only one more chapter and we’re done.
“Holy shit,” James spluttered seeing Andrej on the other side of his apartment door. “You’re back.”
“I am,” he said, smiling sadly. “May I come inside?”
“Yeah, of course,” James said, stepping out of the doorway. “I can’t tell you how happy I am to see you.”
“I am happy to be seen,” he said. “But I am not exactly happy, Jay.”
“Is that why you’re here tonight instead of coming to see me at the station in the morning?”
“Zayne told you I was to return tomorrow?”
James nodded. “He did. We’ve been worried about you.”
Andrej didn’t know how to respond to that so he kept quiet. If they’d had any care for him at all, they would have found a way to work through their differences months ago. Instead, James and Zayne continued to butt heads and cause friction in the household. A little bit of chaos was to be expected when you put two alpha males into a home, but the levels of conflict they often brought was above and beyond.
Sitting in his usual place, James motioned for Andrej to take a seat. He shook his head. “No thank you, Jay. I think I’d rather stand.”
“Are you mad at me?”
“I am – I don’t know what I am,” he said, throwing his hands into the air. “But I am not pleased, I do know that much.”
“I’m sorry,” James said, arms draped across his thighs. “I know that I’m at least partly at fault for your pain.”
He wanted to tell James that he was more than just partly responsible, but that was unfair to all of them, Zayne included. While James had a tendency to bait and antagonize Zayne, Zayne never seemed to have the willpower to resist retaliation. It all made Andrej wonder what part he played in this mess. Did his very presence encourage them to act out? There was a chance he’d never know, but he had his suspicions.
“It doesn’t matter any longer, Jay,” Andrej said, slumping into the recliner beside James. “Zayne has left and will not come home, no matter what I say. He believes that I – that we – are better off.”
James went pale, something that Andrej didn’t think was possible.
“Did he say why he felt that way?”
“He did not,” Andrej lied. There was no use in repeating Zayne’s words to James. By the look of it, the redhead was already blaming himself. “He didn’t need to either, Jay.”
James’ head snapped up. “What does that mean?”
“It means that it is obvious that he feels like he does not belong.” Andrej rubbed a hand across his face. He was in desperate need of a shave, but he’d been too wrapped up in his boyfriends’ drama to bother. “I have known Zayne for a long time and he does not like being the odd man out. It’s easier for him to leave than to learn how to fit.”
“I’ve tried –” James began, but Andrej stopped him.
“I believe you think you’ve tried, but you have not.” Andrej rose to his feet. He ran his hands down the front of his pants, smoothing out wrinkles that hadn’t had time to form. “Neither one of you have tried to accommodate the other’s needs or feelings. There are times when you are in harmony, but more often than not, there is discord.” Seeing the look of disbelief on James’ face, he softened his tone. “I am not placing blame because in the end, I believe the blame is mine. I let this bickering, the competition the – what did Trish call it? Ah, yes, the ‘dick measuring contest’, whatever that might be – go on for too long. If I had stepped in and made you two get along, maybe we wouldn’t be here right now.”
“Look,” James said, standing and holding his arms out to Andrej. “While you maybe should have smacked us around a little more than you did, this time, it’s my fault. I can’t even blame the cowboy for it.”
“What do you mean?”
James wiggled his fingers, encouraging Andrej to move closer. Andrej took three steps towards the ginger, and then stopped. He was afraid if he got any closer, he’d cave and fall into James’ arms. If that wasn’t bad enough, he was positive he’d break down if the redhead so much as touched him.
“I said some pretty horrible shit to him,” James confessed. “Told him he was coming between us, keeping you and me from having any kind of relationship without him involved in some way.”
“You do understand that, even if you and I start seeing one another again, and do not include Zayne, that he will always be a part of us?” He watched James’ face roll through a series of emotions. “He is my partner, Jay, and my friend. Even if we had never been intimate, he would have always been part of us.”
“I do now,” he sighed. James glanced at the door as if expecting company. “Is it so wrong to want you to myself once in a while?”
“No, it is not,” Andrej said, taking the last few steps needed to bring him within James’ grasp. “But he will always be there, just as you will always be there between Zayne and me in some way. It is how this kind of thing works, I suppose.”
“I guess,” James said, fingers skating down the length of Andrej’s arms.
A shiver of pleasure coursed through Andrej’s body. It had been weeks since anyone had touched him like this. He was so ready to give in. “What did he say to push you over the line, Jay? Because he told me you wanted him out of the picture.”
James winced. “Yeah, well, I kinda overreacted, I think.” Andrej raised an eyebrow at that, but remained silent. “I was online one day and he asked me what I was doing. I told him I was trying to think of something special for us to do on our anniversary. His eyes lit up and he asked what we should do. We, Andy. Not me. He even started making suggestions. When you and I started dating, he wormed his way into our dates, our weekends, everything, and it drove me crazy. Reyes trying to wriggle his way into our anniversary – the day you and I started dating – pissed me off. It made me feel like he was trying to push me out so he could have you to himself.”
“Which is highly amusing because he feels like he is being pushed out as well, Jay.” He didn’t mention that he felt like he was being forced out of his own home because that would have only made things worse.
“I think your dictionary failed you,” James muttered. “Because amused does not mean what you think it means.”
“Very funny, Inigo,” Andrej quipped.
“I didn’t think you’d get that,” James laughed.
“I have been living with Zayne for months now, do you have any idea how much television he watches?” Andrej felt the first glimmer of a smile reach his lips. Maybe they could fix this after all. “And it is one of his favorite movies.”
“Why am I not surprised,” James asked. “He probably fancies himself a swashbuckler.”
Andrej was sure James wouldn’t believe Zayne identified more with Fezzik than Westley or Inigo, so he kept that tidbit a secret. “My point still stands, Jay. You both felt like you were being forced to give up something you wanted. I do not understand why you and Zayne cannot come to some kind of agreement.”
“Are you saying he and I need to make a schedule so we know when you belong to us and when we have to share?”
“That is not exactly what I meant,” Andrej said, feeling a little awkward about their discussing who got him when. “But it is a start. I am afraid that Zayne will not be willing.”
“Let me talk to the cowboy,” he said, leaning in and pressing his lips against Andrej’s. “I bet I can convince him to give this – us – another try.”
“How are you going to do that, Jay?” Andrej leaned into the solidness of James’ chest, grateful that he’d managed to break down one wall tonight. “He’s not himself.”
“I’m not sure,” James said, nuzzling his face into Andrej’s hair. “But I’ll figure it out. I have to now.”
He had made Andy a promise, but he was clueless how to carry it out. Even if he could get the cowboy to talk to him, there’s no guarantee that he’d listen. Then there was another problem – he didn’t even know where the fucker was. James did, however, have a hunch.
Picking up his phone, he hit the third contact in his favorites list. “Jake? It’s James. I wonder if you could help me with something.”
“Sure, what’s up?”
“I need an address.”
Jake laughed. “Can’t you get that yourself?”
“Yeah,” James said, “I could, but you’re faster at this shit than I am.”
“Aw,” Jake teased. “Flattery will get you everywhere. Who are you looking for?”
James told him and then noted down the information as it was given to him. “Thanks, Hansen. I owe you lunch.”
“You owe me a lot more than that, Rosewood,” Jake said. “Wanna tell me why you needed this address?”
“Not really,” James admitted. “But if it works out, I’ll explain it all tomorrow.”
“Good enough,” Jake said. “Try not to get arrested. Can’t say I’d be willing to bail you out.”
“So much for ‘partners till the end’, but whatever. Thanks again, man.”
He disconnected the call and tried to put together a plan of action. There were a couple things he needed to get before he went in search of Reyes. James grinned when he realized he could get both at the local grocery store.
“Um, Zayne?”
“Yeah, Hils, what’s up?” He set the remote on the coffee table. There wasn’t crap worth watching anyway.
“That redheaded narco is on the doorstep.”
“What?” Zayne shot to his feet, rubbing his hands together nervously. “Why?”
“How the hell do I know, Reyes,” Hilary said, exasperated. “He’s on the other side of the door!”
“He can hear you, too,” James’ muffled voice said.
“Asshole,” Hilary laughed. “Hope you heard that, too.”
Zayne pushed her gently to the side and peered through the peep hole. “Let me talk to him and I’ll find out what’s going on.”
“Okay,” she said, stepping back. “But leave the door open a crack so I can give Rollins a play by play in the morning.”
Zayne shot her a look. “Very funny.” He stepped outside, making sure to close the door behind him. Although he knew it wouldn’t keep Maxwell from finding a way to listen in, he did it anyway. Why make her spying any easier? She was a detective after all, let her use her skills. “Why are you here?”
James shrugged. “I need to apologize.”
“You want to show me your hands first,” Zayne asked. He motioned to James’ arms which were tucked behind his back. “I know you’re not holding a weapon but it’s freaking me out all the same.”
“Been wearing a badge too long, Reyes,” James said lightly. “But I thought that if I couldn’t convince you to listen to me, maybe I could bribe you?” He brought his left hand out and showed Zayne the bouquet of carnations he was holding.
Zayne snorted. “Flowers, narco? Really?” He shook his head. “As pretty as they are, I might leave those here for Hil”
“That’s fine,” James said. “Hadn’t figured you for a flowers and candy kind of guy anyway, but knew it couldn’t hurt.”
“It’s a gesture,” Zayne agreed, taking the flowers from James and holding them to his nose. “Nice. Hilary will love them.”
“I take it you didn’t bring her flowers very often?”
“Nah,” Zayne said, flushing slightly. “I always brought her more useful things.”
“Like condoms?”
“Shut up,” Zayne said, his mind flying back to a time when he’d forgotten even those. Shit, and who had held his hand through that scare? Zeklos, of course. “What’s in your other hand?”
“The thing I knew you’d appreciate,” James said, revealing his right hand carrying a six pack of Zayne’s favorite local brew. “I’d have brought food but I didn’t want to waste more time.”
“Food is always a good thing,” Zayne said, stepping closer to the redhead. He took the beer and set both items on the porch behind him. “But you never answered my question – why are you here?”
“I told you I needed to apologize,” James reminded him.
“Yeah,” Zayne said holding out a hand. “But for what? I have a list of things a mile long I could use an ‘I’m sorry’ for right now.”
James’ shoulders slumped. “I guess I shouldn’t have expected this to be easy,” he said. “But I’m fucking trying, can you cut the shit for ten minutes?”
“You hurt me, asshole,” Zayne said, crossing his arms over his chest. His stomach rolled with fear at what he was about to say, to admit to feeling. “You made me feel like I wasn’t good enough for my partner, for you, for anyone really. Treated me like I was intentionally trying to come between you and Zeklos.”
“Isn’t that what you were doing when you tried to insert yourself into the anniversary I was celebrating with him?”
Zayne threw his hands in the air. “What the hell is your problem?” He pointed a finger in James’ direction, trying not to scream at the aggravating redhead. “I was trying to help you. Did I ever say that I wanted to go with you on your date? No. I asked you what we were going to do for Zek, that’s all. You’re the one who jumped to the conclusion I was going to tag along.” He shook his head again, frustrated. “I know him better than you ever will. I wanted to help.”
“Can you blame me though, Reyes?” James took a step forward. “When Andy and I started dating, you showed up everywhere. On our dates. At my apartment. It didn’t matter what we were doing or where we were going, you found a way to insert yourself into the situation.”
“I didn’t know you,” Zayne said, feeling guilty at the memory of stalking Zeklos and James the first time they had lunch together, long before they started dating. “And neither did Zek. I didn’t know if you were on the up and up and I wasn’t going to let my partner get hurt. He spent so much time alone, I was worried he’d fall for the wrong guy and never recover.”
“I guess that makes sense,” James said, looking at his feet. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Because you turned out to be an upstanding guy,” Zayne said. He reached out for James, hesitated, and then figured what the hell. His fingers brushed the fabric of James’ cotton t-shirt, ghosted along the copper hair covering his arm. “And Zeklos was happy. If I told him I was being overprotective because I didn’t trust you, he never would have forgiven me. It’s not fair, I know, but I couldn’t help it. I cared about him, even then, and I couldn’t stand to watch him get his heart broken again.” He’d done enough damage to Zek’s emotional well-being without knowing it, he wasn’t about to add to it after he knew.
“Is there anything I can say or do to make this up to you?”
Zayne sighed. “Take care of Zeklos for me. He loves you and I know – now – that you love him. You’ll be happy together.”
“You know that we’re happier with you, right?” James moved closer again, bringing them within inches of each other. “That what works between Andy and I only gets better with you in it? I never would have believed it, but it’s true.”
“You only brought me into your bed as a joke,” Zayne said. That horrible time after Zeklos’ kidnapping had changed everything for him.
“It never was a joke,” James said. “I might not have wanted it to be permanent, but it wasn’t ever an attempt to make fun of you or to humiliate you.”
“Then why?”
James paled a little. “Because you’re fucking hot, Reyes,” he said. “Who wouldn’t want to have a night with you? And besides, I knew you were Andy’s dream lover. So, why not, right? Have fun, live a little. I didn’t know I was going to like having you around so much.” He leered at Zayne playfully. “Or like having you at my mercy either.”
“I like being with you both, too,” he said. But that wasn’t exactly true. He needed to be with them, had to have their steadying force supporting and guiding him. “But I have to admit, ever since the first time, I’ve been waiting for the inevitable.”
“Being kicked out of the relationship?”
“Yeah,” he said. He reached out for James again, this time making more substantial contact. His hand rested on James’ shoulder, a hair’s breadth from the narco’s neck. “Of wearing out my welcome and being asked to leave. And that’s why what you said hurt so much. It was my nightmare come true.”
“I had no idea,” James said, pulling Zayne into his arms. “And I really am sorry. I was so worried that Andy would choose you over me that I didn’t even consider why you were asking.”
Zayne wrapped his arms around James’ shoulders. “I get it, narco. I really do.”
“So,” he said, pulling back and looking Zayne in the face. “Does that mean you’ll come home?”
“I don’t know if I can,” he said.
“Do you think you can try?” James rested a hand against Zayne’s chest, thumb brushing arcs against Zayne’s shirt. “I know that this is far from fixed, but it’ll be easier to work this through if we’re all together.”
“I don’t know,” he said. “I don’t feel like I belong anymore.”
“Try,” James said. “For me? For us?”
A smile tugged at the corners of Zayne’s mouth. “Okay. For us.”
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Date: 2018-02-26 02:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-02-26 03:05 am (UTC)