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asphaltcowgrrlTitle: In a Week or Two Chapter 10
Fandom: Romani Detective Original Fiction
Pairing: Um… hell.
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 3,07i7
Summary: Zayne and Andrej wake up from their nap. Feelings erupt.
Author’s Note: Whelp, I’ve created a mess. Better go grab the mop.
Before he ever opened his eyes, Andrej remembered why he disliked napping. He never woke up refreshed, only more tired. However, his head throbbed a little less and his limbs were a little looser, so it wasn’t a complete loss.
“Good morning, glory,” Zayne said, toying with a lock of Andrej’s hair. “Or rather, afternoon.”
Smiling, Andrej rolled onto his side so that he could face Zayne. “Do you feel better now that you’ve gotten some rest?”
“Yeah,” Zayne said, reaching out and taking another lock of Andrej’s hair between his fingers. “Thanks for letting me crash.”
“It is no problem,” Andrej said, drawing back from Zayne. Being this close to the Texan confused his senses. Having Zayne be so intimate with him, touching his hair and sharing his bed, was not helping matters any either. And, considering everything going on in his life at the moment, he did not need any more confusion or uncertainty. “I must get up, but if you are still tired, feel free to continue napping.”
“As much as I want to lay here and be a lazy ass lump, I ought to at least get up and go be a somewhat upright lazy ass lump.” He ran his fingers through his disorderly dark hair and sighed. “I probably ought to go home, too. I’m spending too much time here lately and your poor vampire romances are piling up.”
Andrej pressed his lips together and tried not to respond. He knew Zayne was poking fun at him, but he wasn’t sure why this was the subject he’d chosen. “They’re not all vampires,” Andrej stated serenely. “There are witches and werewolves and even a couple cowboys.”
Zayne visibly blanched at that last word. “Stay away from the westerns,” he said. “Cowboys are nothing but trouble.”
“So Hilary has told me,” he replied, frowning. “But I do not hold any of that against you either.”
“Thanks,” Zayne said. He swung his legs over the edge of the bed and looked up at Andrej. “I appreciate you making breakfast for me and for not kicking me out and making ne nap on my couch at home.”
Andrej was worried by how sad Zayne’s green eyes looked then, it made him want to hug his partner and tell him that it’d be okay. He’d find someone new, someone who made him as happy as Hilary had. But he couldn’t find the words, because he wanted to be that person, but never would be. “You do not have to go home if you do not wish to.”
“I’ll be fine,” Zayne said, rising and crossing the room to where Andrej stood. With a smile, he ruffled Andrej’s mussy hair. “Go meditate, do some yoga, or whatever it is that you do to relieve your stress.”
“Today that would require a trip to the shooting range,” Andrej laughed. “I will see you tomorrow?”
“Yeah,” Zayne said. “And I’ll even try to be on time.”
“Drive safe,” Andrej said, watching Zayne exit his bedroom, wishing his partner would stay just a little bit longer.
Zayne sat in his truck and glared at the steering wheel. Hilary had been right, this had been the perfect moment to have a heart-to-heart with Zeklos, but he’d chickened out. Because of course he had, he was an idiot after all. His phone lit up and he glanced at the text that had arrived. It was as if the universe knew he was being a coward.
“Speak of the devil and she rears her beautiful head,” he chuckled, seeing that the text had come from Hilary.
How’d it go? Did you two talk yet?
He scowled at his phone.
Not yet, he typed. We took a nap instead.
And? He could visualize the impatient hand gestures she’d be making while waiting for his answer and it made him smile.
And I chickened out. Tell me to be brave and do the right thing.
GET YOUR ASS BACK IN THERE AND TELL HIM REYES was the angry response.
“Hah,” Zayne crowed. Rollins, give Hil her phone back.
She’s right though, Hilary replied. If you’re still there, go back inside and tell him. He deserves to know the truth after all of this.
He knew she was right. The fear of failure was real, however. What if I mess this up?
Zayne could hear her sigh through the text. This is Andy, Z. He loves you. I don’t think you can mess this up. Not with him.
She was definitely right about that. There was no one more forgiving or understanding than Zek. Hell, the more awkward and fumbling you were, the more he seemed to appreciate what you were trying to do. Okay, I’m going back in. Wish me luck.
Her response was all he needed to motivate him to get out of the truck and back into Zek’s house. Don’t you remember who you are? You don’t need luck, Zayne. Just turn that Texas charm up to ten and don’t bullshit him. He already can’t resist you. There’s no way he’ll reject you.
Stuffing his phone into his pocket, he got out of his truck and headed back towards the front door.
“Zek,” he called out, letting himself back into the house. He’d only been outside for a few minutes and hoped that Zeklos wasn’t already in Warrior III and unwilling to talk.
“Zayne,” Andrej asked, coming out of the kitchen with a mug of hot tea in his hand. “I thought you were going home?”
“I was,” he said, shoving his hands into his pockets. “But I – we need to talk.”
Andrej watched him while he sipped from his mug. “What about? If it is the case, at this point, I am sure it can wait until the morning.”
“No,” he said, waving a frustrated hand through the air. “It’s more um, personal, than that. Please?”
“Of course,” he said. “I am always here to help you where Hilary is concerned.” He paused and grimaced in Zayne’s direction. “The other girls, maybe not. I do not know them like I do Hilary and –”
“It’s not about Hil,” he chuckled.
“Well, that is unexpected,” Andrej said. “Can I get you a drink before we sit down? I do not think a beer would be productive after last night. But I have tea, hot and cold, coffee, also both hot and cold. Orange juice, water…”
His voice trailed off and Zayne snapped back into reality. The sound of Zek’s voice was distracting, his melodious accent lulling Zayne. “Just some water, please.” But god did he want a beer right now. Or a shot or three of tequila.
They moved into the living room and Zayne dropped into the recliner he preferred. At first, it was habit because he had one similar in his apartment. Then, it became a way to keep a bit of distance between them when sitting on the couch together felt too familiar. Zeklos sat in his usual spot on the couch. Waiting.
“What do you want to talk about,” he finally asked.
“I don’t know,” Zayne said, slumping forward. His forearms rested across his thighs, his eyes on the ground. “Wait,” he said, lifting his head and glancing in Zeklos’ direction. “Not true. I do know, but I don’t know how to start this damn convo.”
It had seemed so easy before, when he was alone in his truck, being buoyed up by the girls’ enthusiasm. Now that he was inside, alone with Zeklos, he didn’t know how to move forward. It wasn’t often that he found himself paralyzed by fear and indecision.
Zeklos shrugged and set his mug down on a coaster. “Just spit it out, is that not what you always say? Get it out and we will worry about the rest later.” He tilted his head and studied Zayne for a moment. “I am not sure you can offend me at this point, Zayne.”
He couldn’t stop the grin that spread across his face. “I never thought I would have had this kind of effect on you,” he said. “It’s obvious that you’ve been a good influence on me. Hil’s even said as much. But I’m afraid I’ve been a bad influence on you, buddy.”
“Only in the best of ways,” Andrej laughed. “But please, tell me what is on your mind. You are trying to change the subject and it is very obvious.”
“Ugh,” Zayne grunted, rubbing his hands across his face. “Okay, Reyes, out with it. But, before I do, I want you to know that this is the girls’ doing. They’re the ones who are encouraging me to do this.”
“Then it must be important,” Zeklos said simply. “You have my full attention.”
“God,” he huffed out. “I feel so damn selfish even thinking about this right now.”
“What do you mean?” Zeklos scooted to the edge of the cushion, leaning forward.
“I don’t want to fuck up your budding relationship with the architect,” he said. Zayne looked towards the kitchen for a moment, the forced his gaze back onto Zeklos. “But…”
“But?” Zeklos sounded confused and he probably was.
“But I’ve come to a conclusion with the help of the girls,” he managed.
“Okay,” Zeklos said, slowly. “However, I am unsure how anything you might say will affect my relationship with Carter? Unless you, too, are going to accuse him of shady and underhanded business dealings?”
“What?” Zayne’s head snapped up, his eyes wide. “No, of course not. You made it quite clear that he wasn’t involved in anything below board. I trust your intel more than my own, honestly.”
“So, what is it then?” He turned his mug around on the coaster.
“Zek, look at me.”
He looked up and frowned. “Zayne?”
“I – I think I’m falling for you, you asshole,” he said, hating immediately that he’d called the possible love of his life an asshole. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that but, shit, I’m so damn confused.” He rose and started pacing the living room.
Zeklos watched him make several passes before standing up and moving into Zayne’s flight path. He grasped Zayne by the biceps and forced him to meet his eyes. “What are you talking about?”
He looked down at his partner for two, three heartbeats, before lifting his hands and lightly grasping Zek’s elbows. “Everything that’s happened lately – the narco breaking it off with you, Hil with me, you finding Carter – it’s all stirred up some shit with me. And it’s – it’s making me think that I’m in love with you.”
Zeklos released his grip on Zayne’s arms and took a step back, breaking Zayne’s hold on him. “I – I think you’re confused, Zayne. You can’t –”
“Oh, I’m definitely confused, baby,” he said with a self-deprecating laugh. “There’s no question there. I mean, one minute I want to kiss you and the next?” He shook his head angrily. “Fuck you for making me feel this way, Zek. I hate you for making me question everything I’ve ever known to be true. But god damnit, I can’t deny how much I want to be with you.”
Fuck, what was he doing? Zek was staring at the ground, his shoulders slumped, his face pale. Shit, he’d made the wrong choice after all. He really was going to get rejected, wasn’t he? Zeklos was going to kick his stupid ass to the curb and then Monday? Monday he was going to ask for a new partner, maybe even a new department, and leave him all the fuck alone.
“Oh god, I’m going to be sick,” he groaned.
Zeklos’ heat shot up. “Sit down, Zayne, put your head between your knees.” He tugged on Zayne’s arm, drawing him towards the closest thing – the coffee table – and helped him sit. “I am going to get you some water, do not move.”
As if he could budge at the moment. A wave of nausea rushed through him and he leaned forward, his head as close to his knees as he could get it. There was no way he was even half as flexible as Zeklos. But it helped, even if he couldn’t fold all the way forward.
“Here,” Zeklos said, tapping something cold and smooth against his arm. “Drink this.”
He took the bottle of water from Zeklos and uncapped it. It felt cool and refreshing as it washed down his throat. Leave it to Zek to know exactly what he needed. His partner, that steadfast and loyal force of nature, sat on the table beside him, hand rubbing small circles into his back.
“I’m sorry,” he said, swallowing the lump that had formed in his throat. “For all the things I said. Both good and bad. I should have kept my damn mouth shut.”
“Zayne,” Zeklos said, stopping him before he could get started. “Do not apologize.”
“But you looked so sad,” he said, cringing as his voice cracked. “So – defeated.”
Zeklos’ warm hand rested on Zayne’s thigh, comforting him. “I am just worried that you are deflecting.”
“Deflecting?”
He made a face. “I am not sure if that is the right word,” Zeklos admitted. “But you and Hilary were very serious when she ended it with you. It is natural for me to think that you are…” He waved his other hand between them, as if he was hoping to grab the right word out of the air.
“Oh,” Zayne said, finally picking up on Zeklos’ meaning. “You’re worried that I’m rebounding and looking for something to tide me over until I can find something else. Something better.” He shoulder bumped Zek. “I couldn’t find anyone better than you, I’ve known that for a long time. Even Hilary agrees on that.”
“You can’t blame me for being worried,” Zeklos said, leaning into Zayne’s solid body. “My feelings for you are not a secret and I am not sure I could withstand you breaking my heart.”
“I would never do that to you,” Zayne said, appalled. “You’re my best friend, I’d never do anything to hurt you.”
“Not intentionally, no,” Zeklos said, standing up. He held his hand out for Zayne’s empty bottle. Taking it, he sighed. “But there is too much chance you would find someone else, a woman most likely, who interested you more than me.”
Zayne watched him walk away, presumably to toss the bottle into the recycling bin. But to Zayne it felt like Zek was walking out on him. What if this was the end and he never had another chance? He forced himself to his feet and followed Zek into the kitchen. One thing he had to do before he left here tonight was convince Zeklos that he was serious. Maybe they could make it work, maybe they shouldn’t even try. However, he had to get this out and he absolutely had to make Zeklos understand.
“Zek,” he said, stumbling when he found his partner at the sink. His hands were on the counter, his head bent over, shoulders shaking. Fuck, he’d done it again, hurt the most important person in his world. Because of him. Because he was fucking selfish. His brother was right, he didn’t deserve to be happy because all he did was bring misery to those he cared about. “Andy?”
Zeklos looked up at him, surprise written all over his face. His cheeks were wet, his eyes vibrant and blue with sadness. Seeing his normally stoic partner in so much pain broke Zayne, forcing him to remember all the times Zek had put aside his feelings to help Zayne through yet another breakup.
“Zayne?”
He moved forward and wrapped his arms around Zeklos, crushing him against his chest. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m so goddamned sorry for being such a dick to you all these years. You don’t deserve this. I sure as hell don’t deserve you.”
Zeklos pushed back just enough to be able to look into Zayne’s eyes. “Answer me one question before we make any decisions on that.”
Zayne swallowed, then nodded. “Okay.”
“Why did you kiss me last night?”
Embarrassed, he looked away. “I wasn’t sure if you’d remembered that or not,” he admitted. “I was half convinced it was a fever dream.”
“Me, too,” he said, rubbing a hand up Zayne’s chest.
A shiver ran through him at Zeklos’ gentle touch. “I did it because I was feeling so many things and I needed to know.”
“Know what?”
“What it felt like. To kiss you. To be loved by you.” He cupped Zeklos’ face in his hands. “To be with you, like this.”
“And what was it like,” Zeklos asked, eyes bright and curious.
“Kinda like this,” Zayne said.
He drew Zeklos’ face closer, pressing their lips together gently. When Zek didn’t immediately recoil, he allowed his hands to drop and settle on his partner’s hips. His fingers slid over the curve of Zeklos’ ass, bringing their bodies flush against the other. Zek gasped and Zayne took advantage of that momentary surprise by tilting his head and deepening their kiss.
With a whimper Zayne couldn’t decipher, Zeklos buried his fingers in Zayne’s hair, holding them together like he was waiting for the glue between them to dry. Then, just as quickly, his fingers disappeared, and Zeklos pushed Zayne back, wiping at his mouth irritably.
“Zek,” Zayne started.
“Don’t,” Zeklos replied. “Just don’t. You need to leave.”
“What? Why?” Zayne took a step closer and Zeklos held out his hand, stopping him in his tracks. “Are you mad at me?”
“No,” he said, looking away. “I’m not angry but – but I am not sure I can trust this either, Zayne. I have – my feelings for you are too strong to be played with. I can’t let this happen.”
“Wait,” Zayne said, grabbing Zeklos by his wrists and tugging him forward lightly. “I’m not fucking with you, I promise. I’m more serious about this than I’ve ever been about anything. Don’t make me leave. Not now.”
Zeklos looked up and chewed on his lower lip. “Promise me,” he said. “That you aren’t doing this for the fun of it, or because you’re lonely. Tell me that you’re doing this, saying these things because you truly care about me.”
“Baby, I think I’m in love with you,” he said, half breathless.
Zeklos took a step forward and wrapped his arms around Zayne’s neck. “This is a mistake,” he whispered in Zayne’s ear. “But I cannot help but make it with you.”
Fandom: Romani Detective Original Fiction
Pairing: Um… hell.
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 3,07i7
Summary: Zayne and Andrej wake up from their nap. Feelings erupt.
Author’s Note: Whelp, I’ve created a mess. Better go grab the mop.
Before he ever opened his eyes, Andrej remembered why he disliked napping. He never woke up refreshed, only more tired. However, his head throbbed a little less and his limbs were a little looser, so it wasn’t a complete loss.
“Good morning, glory,” Zayne said, toying with a lock of Andrej’s hair. “Or rather, afternoon.”
Smiling, Andrej rolled onto his side so that he could face Zayne. “Do you feel better now that you’ve gotten some rest?”
“Yeah,” Zayne said, reaching out and taking another lock of Andrej’s hair between his fingers. “Thanks for letting me crash.”
“It is no problem,” Andrej said, drawing back from Zayne. Being this close to the Texan confused his senses. Having Zayne be so intimate with him, touching his hair and sharing his bed, was not helping matters any either. And, considering everything going on in his life at the moment, he did not need any more confusion or uncertainty. “I must get up, but if you are still tired, feel free to continue napping.”
“As much as I want to lay here and be a lazy ass lump, I ought to at least get up and go be a somewhat upright lazy ass lump.” He ran his fingers through his disorderly dark hair and sighed. “I probably ought to go home, too. I’m spending too much time here lately and your poor vampire romances are piling up.”
Andrej pressed his lips together and tried not to respond. He knew Zayne was poking fun at him, but he wasn’t sure why this was the subject he’d chosen. “They’re not all vampires,” Andrej stated serenely. “There are witches and werewolves and even a couple cowboys.”
Zayne visibly blanched at that last word. “Stay away from the westerns,” he said. “Cowboys are nothing but trouble.”
“So Hilary has told me,” he replied, frowning. “But I do not hold any of that against you either.”
“Thanks,” Zayne said. He swung his legs over the edge of the bed and looked up at Andrej. “I appreciate you making breakfast for me and for not kicking me out and making ne nap on my couch at home.”
Andrej was worried by how sad Zayne’s green eyes looked then, it made him want to hug his partner and tell him that it’d be okay. He’d find someone new, someone who made him as happy as Hilary had. But he couldn’t find the words, because he wanted to be that person, but never would be. “You do not have to go home if you do not wish to.”
“I’ll be fine,” Zayne said, rising and crossing the room to where Andrej stood. With a smile, he ruffled Andrej’s mussy hair. “Go meditate, do some yoga, or whatever it is that you do to relieve your stress.”
“Today that would require a trip to the shooting range,” Andrej laughed. “I will see you tomorrow?”
“Yeah,” Zayne said. “And I’ll even try to be on time.”
“Drive safe,” Andrej said, watching Zayne exit his bedroom, wishing his partner would stay just a little bit longer.
Zayne sat in his truck and glared at the steering wheel. Hilary had been right, this had been the perfect moment to have a heart-to-heart with Zeklos, but he’d chickened out. Because of course he had, he was an idiot after all. His phone lit up and he glanced at the text that had arrived. It was as if the universe knew he was being a coward.
“Speak of the devil and she rears her beautiful head,” he chuckled, seeing that the text had come from Hilary.
How’d it go? Did you two talk yet?
He scowled at his phone.
Not yet, he typed. We took a nap instead.
And? He could visualize the impatient hand gestures she’d be making while waiting for his answer and it made him smile.
And I chickened out. Tell me to be brave and do the right thing.
GET YOUR ASS BACK IN THERE AND TELL HIM REYES was the angry response.
“Hah,” Zayne crowed. Rollins, give Hil her phone back.
She’s right though, Hilary replied. If you’re still there, go back inside and tell him. He deserves to know the truth after all of this.
He knew she was right. The fear of failure was real, however. What if I mess this up?
Zayne could hear her sigh through the text. This is Andy, Z. He loves you. I don’t think you can mess this up. Not with him.
She was definitely right about that. There was no one more forgiving or understanding than Zek. Hell, the more awkward and fumbling you were, the more he seemed to appreciate what you were trying to do. Okay, I’m going back in. Wish me luck.
Her response was all he needed to motivate him to get out of the truck and back into Zek’s house. Don’t you remember who you are? You don’t need luck, Zayne. Just turn that Texas charm up to ten and don’t bullshit him. He already can’t resist you. There’s no way he’ll reject you.
Stuffing his phone into his pocket, he got out of his truck and headed back towards the front door.
“Zek,” he called out, letting himself back into the house. He’d only been outside for a few minutes and hoped that Zeklos wasn’t already in Warrior III and unwilling to talk.
“Zayne,” Andrej asked, coming out of the kitchen with a mug of hot tea in his hand. “I thought you were going home?”
“I was,” he said, shoving his hands into his pockets. “But I – we need to talk.”
Andrej watched him while he sipped from his mug. “What about? If it is the case, at this point, I am sure it can wait until the morning.”
“No,” he said, waving a frustrated hand through the air. “It’s more um, personal, than that. Please?”
“Of course,” he said. “I am always here to help you where Hilary is concerned.” He paused and grimaced in Zayne’s direction. “The other girls, maybe not. I do not know them like I do Hilary and –”
“It’s not about Hil,” he chuckled.
“Well, that is unexpected,” Andrej said. “Can I get you a drink before we sit down? I do not think a beer would be productive after last night. But I have tea, hot and cold, coffee, also both hot and cold. Orange juice, water…”
His voice trailed off and Zayne snapped back into reality. The sound of Zek’s voice was distracting, his melodious accent lulling Zayne. “Just some water, please.” But god did he want a beer right now. Or a shot or three of tequila.
They moved into the living room and Zayne dropped into the recliner he preferred. At first, it was habit because he had one similar in his apartment. Then, it became a way to keep a bit of distance between them when sitting on the couch together felt too familiar. Zeklos sat in his usual spot on the couch. Waiting.
“What do you want to talk about,” he finally asked.
“I don’t know,” Zayne said, slumping forward. His forearms rested across his thighs, his eyes on the ground. “Wait,” he said, lifting his head and glancing in Zeklos’ direction. “Not true. I do know, but I don’t know how to start this damn convo.”
It had seemed so easy before, when he was alone in his truck, being buoyed up by the girls’ enthusiasm. Now that he was inside, alone with Zeklos, he didn’t know how to move forward. It wasn’t often that he found himself paralyzed by fear and indecision.
Zeklos shrugged and set his mug down on a coaster. “Just spit it out, is that not what you always say? Get it out and we will worry about the rest later.” He tilted his head and studied Zayne for a moment. “I am not sure you can offend me at this point, Zayne.”
He couldn’t stop the grin that spread across his face. “I never thought I would have had this kind of effect on you,” he said. “It’s obvious that you’ve been a good influence on me. Hil’s even said as much. But I’m afraid I’ve been a bad influence on you, buddy.”
“Only in the best of ways,” Andrej laughed. “But please, tell me what is on your mind. You are trying to change the subject and it is very obvious.”
“Ugh,” Zayne grunted, rubbing his hands across his face. “Okay, Reyes, out with it. But, before I do, I want you to know that this is the girls’ doing. They’re the ones who are encouraging me to do this.”
“Then it must be important,” Zeklos said simply. “You have my full attention.”
“God,” he huffed out. “I feel so damn selfish even thinking about this right now.”
“What do you mean?” Zeklos scooted to the edge of the cushion, leaning forward.
“I don’t want to fuck up your budding relationship with the architect,” he said. Zayne looked towards the kitchen for a moment, the forced his gaze back onto Zeklos. “But…”
“But?” Zeklos sounded confused and he probably was.
“But I’ve come to a conclusion with the help of the girls,” he managed.
“Okay,” Zeklos said, slowly. “However, I am unsure how anything you might say will affect my relationship with Carter? Unless you, too, are going to accuse him of shady and underhanded business dealings?”
“What?” Zayne’s head snapped up, his eyes wide. “No, of course not. You made it quite clear that he wasn’t involved in anything below board. I trust your intel more than my own, honestly.”
“So, what is it then?” He turned his mug around on the coaster.
“Zek, look at me.”
He looked up and frowned. “Zayne?”
“I – I think I’m falling for you, you asshole,” he said, hating immediately that he’d called the possible love of his life an asshole. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that but, shit, I’m so damn confused.” He rose and started pacing the living room.
Zeklos watched him make several passes before standing up and moving into Zayne’s flight path. He grasped Zayne by the biceps and forced him to meet his eyes. “What are you talking about?”
He looked down at his partner for two, three heartbeats, before lifting his hands and lightly grasping Zek’s elbows. “Everything that’s happened lately – the narco breaking it off with you, Hil with me, you finding Carter – it’s all stirred up some shit with me. And it’s – it’s making me think that I’m in love with you.”
Zeklos released his grip on Zayne’s arms and took a step back, breaking Zayne’s hold on him. “I – I think you’re confused, Zayne. You can’t –”
“Oh, I’m definitely confused, baby,” he said with a self-deprecating laugh. “There’s no question there. I mean, one minute I want to kiss you and the next?” He shook his head angrily. “Fuck you for making me feel this way, Zek. I hate you for making me question everything I’ve ever known to be true. But god damnit, I can’t deny how much I want to be with you.”
Fuck, what was he doing? Zek was staring at the ground, his shoulders slumped, his face pale. Shit, he’d made the wrong choice after all. He really was going to get rejected, wasn’t he? Zeklos was going to kick his stupid ass to the curb and then Monday? Monday he was going to ask for a new partner, maybe even a new department, and leave him all the fuck alone.
“Oh god, I’m going to be sick,” he groaned.
Zeklos’ heat shot up. “Sit down, Zayne, put your head between your knees.” He tugged on Zayne’s arm, drawing him towards the closest thing – the coffee table – and helped him sit. “I am going to get you some water, do not move.”
As if he could budge at the moment. A wave of nausea rushed through him and he leaned forward, his head as close to his knees as he could get it. There was no way he was even half as flexible as Zeklos. But it helped, even if he couldn’t fold all the way forward.
“Here,” Zeklos said, tapping something cold and smooth against his arm. “Drink this.”
He took the bottle of water from Zeklos and uncapped it. It felt cool and refreshing as it washed down his throat. Leave it to Zek to know exactly what he needed. His partner, that steadfast and loyal force of nature, sat on the table beside him, hand rubbing small circles into his back.
“I’m sorry,” he said, swallowing the lump that had formed in his throat. “For all the things I said. Both good and bad. I should have kept my damn mouth shut.”
“Zayne,” Zeklos said, stopping him before he could get started. “Do not apologize.”
“But you looked so sad,” he said, cringing as his voice cracked. “So – defeated.”
Zeklos’ warm hand rested on Zayne’s thigh, comforting him. “I am just worried that you are deflecting.”
“Deflecting?”
He made a face. “I am not sure if that is the right word,” Zeklos admitted. “But you and Hilary were very serious when she ended it with you. It is natural for me to think that you are…” He waved his other hand between them, as if he was hoping to grab the right word out of the air.
“Oh,” Zayne said, finally picking up on Zeklos’ meaning. “You’re worried that I’m rebounding and looking for something to tide me over until I can find something else. Something better.” He shoulder bumped Zek. “I couldn’t find anyone better than you, I’ve known that for a long time. Even Hilary agrees on that.”
“You can’t blame me for being worried,” Zeklos said, leaning into Zayne’s solid body. “My feelings for you are not a secret and I am not sure I could withstand you breaking my heart.”
“I would never do that to you,” Zayne said, appalled. “You’re my best friend, I’d never do anything to hurt you.”
“Not intentionally, no,” Zeklos said, standing up. He held his hand out for Zayne’s empty bottle. Taking it, he sighed. “But there is too much chance you would find someone else, a woman most likely, who interested you more than me.”
Zayne watched him walk away, presumably to toss the bottle into the recycling bin. But to Zayne it felt like Zek was walking out on him. What if this was the end and he never had another chance? He forced himself to his feet and followed Zek into the kitchen. One thing he had to do before he left here tonight was convince Zeklos that he was serious. Maybe they could make it work, maybe they shouldn’t even try. However, he had to get this out and he absolutely had to make Zeklos understand.
“Zek,” he said, stumbling when he found his partner at the sink. His hands were on the counter, his head bent over, shoulders shaking. Fuck, he’d done it again, hurt the most important person in his world. Because of him. Because he was fucking selfish. His brother was right, he didn’t deserve to be happy because all he did was bring misery to those he cared about. “Andy?”
Zeklos looked up at him, surprise written all over his face. His cheeks were wet, his eyes vibrant and blue with sadness. Seeing his normally stoic partner in so much pain broke Zayne, forcing him to remember all the times Zek had put aside his feelings to help Zayne through yet another breakup.
“Zayne?”
He moved forward and wrapped his arms around Zeklos, crushing him against his chest. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m so goddamned sorry for being such a dick to you all these years. You don’t deserve this. I sure as hell don’t deserve you.”
Zeklos pushed back just enough to be able to look into Zayne’s eyes. “Answer me one question before we make any decisions on that.”
Zayne swallowed, then nodded. “Okay.”
“Why did you kiss me last night?”
Embarrassed, he looked away. “I wasn’t sure if you’d remembered that or not,” he admitted. “I was half convinced it was a fever dream.”
“Me, too,” he said, rubbing a hand up Zayne’s chest.
A shiver ran through him at Zeklos’ gentle touch. “I did it because I was feeling so many things and I needed to know.”
“Know what?”
“What it felt like. To kiss you. To be loved by you.” He cupped Zeklos’ face in his hands. “To be with you, like this.”
“And what was it like,” Zeklos asked, eyes bright and curious.
“Kinda like this,” Zayne said.
He drew Zeklos’ face closer, pressing their lips together gently. When Zek didn’t immediately recoil, he allowed his hands to drop and settle on his partner’s hips. His fingers slid over the curve of Zeklos’ ass, bringing their bodies flush against the other. Zek gasped and Zayne took advantage of that momentary surprise by tilting his head and deepening their kiss.
With a whimper Zayne couldn’t decipher, Zeklos buried his fingers in Zayne’s hair, holding them together like he was waiting for the glue between them to dry. Then, just as quickly, his fingers disappeared, and Zeklos pushed Zayne back, wiping at his mouth irritably.
“Zek,” Zayne started.
“Don’t,” Zeklos replied. “Just don’t. You need to leave.”
“What? Why?” Zayne took a step closer and Zeklos held out his hand, stopping him in his tracks. “Are you mad at me?”
“No,” he said, looking away. “I’m not angry but – but I am not sure I can trust this either, Zayne. I have – my feelings for you are too strong to be played with. I can’t let this happen.”
“Wait,” Zayne said, grabbing Zeklos by his wrists and tugging him forward lightly. “I’m not fucking with you, I promise. I’m more serious about this than I’ve ever been about anything. Don’t make me leave. Not now.”
Zeklos looked up and chewed on his lower lip. “Promise me,” he said. “That you aren’t doing this for the fun of it, or because you’re lonely. Tell me that you’re doing this, saying these things because you truly care about me.”
“Baby, I think I’m in love with you,” he said, half breathless.
Zeklos took a step forward and wrapped his arms around Zayne’s neck. “This is a mistake,” he whispered in Zayne’s ear. “But I cannot help but make it with you.”
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