Conversations held in my home

[asphaltcowgrrl]

I should probably give you a bit of backstory before I go any farther with this post.  My father-in-law is retired Air Force and has lived all over the world.  My charming, redheaded husband was born in Japan.  They've lived in the Philippines as well.  So, when he taught me how to make fried rice.  I listened.  The trick is to have the right kind of rice, first of all (he uses medium grain white rice called calrose) and his not-so-secret ingredient is hoisin sauce.  Hoisin is a sweet and mildly spicy sauce that adds a ton of flavor to whatever you put it in.  This is important because this innocent sauce has been the source of much conversation in my home.

Several years ago:

Me (digging in the refrigerator gathering ingredients for dinner): Argh, I'm out of hoisin!
Husband (in living room, watching TV): You're out of what?
Me (pulling head out of fridge): Hoisin.
Him (sounding relieved): Oh.  I thought you said poison.
Me: (silence)

Last week:

Me (to my 12-year-old daughter): Stir this for me.
Her: Okay.
Me (holding hoisin bottle over wok and accidentally dumping more than I had inteneded into wok): Ooops.
My child: MOTHER!  Are you trying to hoisin us?
Husband (in other room, playing Destiny): She is so your child.

The next day:

*cell phone rings*
Me: Hello?
Child from earlier: Mom?  I'm in the nurse's office, I threw up.
Me (groaning):  Okay.  I'll come get you.
*fifteen minutes later*
Child (in passenger seat of my truck, looking rather green): I don't feel well.
Me (pulling over): You okay?
Child (rushes out of truck and pukes on the side of the road):  I am now.
Me: ...
Child: I knew you wer trying to hoisin us last night.
Me: Shut up.

I may never make fried rice ever again after that.

Side note: my daughter was fine after that last bout of puking.  The rest of us, who had all eaten the hoisined fried rice, were fine.  So, I'm thinking it was her and not my cooking.  *side-eyes child in question*

Comments

[kaige68.livejournal.com]

I am not kidding you when I tell you that we could be related. ;) HA!! LOVE IT!

[asphaltcowgrrl.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure if that's good for you or not! I'm telling you though, it's so good to know others have these kinds of things going on. :)

[kaige68.livejournal.com]

It just absolutely sounds like something my father would say, and therefore something I would say. or verse vica.

We have a lot of 'only funny to us' things going on.

[asphaltcowgrrl.livejournal.com]

And that is totally awesome. :) I love it when a family has huge in-jokes that no one outside the family gets.

My younger girl and I are so much alike though that my husband said to me one day, "I used to wonder what you were like as a kid. Now I know." Hah.

[kaige68.livejournal.com]

HA!! I love that!!! :D

[bluedelft.livejournal.com]

Glad to hear that your daughter is feeling better!

Knowing that she is feeling better I can say.....ROTFL!

[asphaltcowgrrl.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Luckily, she got over it pretty quickly. She suffers from seasonal allergies and I think that might have been what hit her.

Hahaha! Yeah, she's quite a trip, that kid. :)