The internet needs to be better read

[asphaltcowgrrl]

FYI:

There are a million books out there.  If you don't believe me, go into a bookstore sometime.  Or better yet, your local library.  You'll be amazed.

Three things you need to know:

1) Charlaine Harris' Southern Vampires series predated Twilight by many moons (four years if you want to be precise).  To the stupid b*tch in Barnes and Noble that called Sookie a ripoff, I challenge thee to a duel!  To the same idiot: you should be thanking my husband for grabbing me by the arm and dragging me out of that area before there was an actual throwdown.  Bobby Flay style.

2) Fifty Shades of Grey is not the first erotica series ever.  It's not even the best erotica series ever.  Also: the term 'mommy porn' makes me want to puke.  This mommy?  She reads much steamier, better-written, and engaging porn than that.  Most of which is produced by non-professional, unpaid writers.

3) George R. R. Martin is not the only fantasy writer to have ever lived.  Yes, I know, you've heard of J. R. R. Tolkein, but does he even count?  Yes.  Yes, of course he does. Frodo lives! And for the love of god, The Sword of Shannara predates A Game of Thrones by nearly 20 years.  GET.  OVER.  YOURSELVES.  Just because you haven't heard of the series or the author until now does not mean that MTV is making things up to hype their new show (which I am fervently praying is not a total disaster).

Side note: None of this is directed at the authors themselves.  I have nothing agains Stefanie Meyer, E. L. James, or GRRM.  But I do have a serious issue with people who don't understand that, just because you've never seen/heard/smelled it before, doesn't automatically make it a ripoff of something you have heard of.  I do, however, understand holding a new thing up to compare against something you do know.  Dunkin' Donuts vs. that new shop down the road.  Starbucks vs. that local café.  GRRM vs. Terry Brooks.

On that note: The Vampire Diaries is not something the CW pulled out of thin air one day.  It's based on a series of books from the days when this old lady fell into the young adult category.

Admit it, you're regretting having friended me, aren't you?  There is a reason I was dubbed the original book whore deluxe, thank you very much.

I solemnly swear to never, ever read the comments on an article/blogpost/anything ever again. Oh, and I'm also up to no good.

Comments

[asphaltcowgrrl.livejournal.com]

Okay - you asked for it. :)

MTV has decided to turn Terry Brooks' Shannara series into a television series and I was reading an article about the guy they'd gotten to play the druid Allanon. And like an idiot, I thought reading the comments would be a good idea. Nope. The first comment actually about the series (and not about the hottie actor LOL) said something about 'Highest selling fantasy series? I've never heard of it'. And that kind of set me off. Maybe Google before you say stupid things?

Then came the comments pretty much accusing Terry Brooks of ripping off GRRM and I wanted to jump through the internet and wring necks.

Anyway... uh, how's the weather? :)

Seriously though. I've read excerpts and her (E. L. James) writing is just horrid. The words 'down there' shouldn't ever be used in an erotica novel to describe someone's lady parts. Just sayin'.

Hah! You can thank Warren for that little gem. He tweeted a picture last night and lemme tell ya, I about fell out of my chair. Had to make an icon first thing this morning. (Seriously though, go check out the full version, he's not ever looked better, I swear.)