Things and Stuffs

[asphaltcowgrrl]

This might get long, so you've been warned.

So, the Knights lost last night, knocking us out of the playoffs.  Which is... whatever.  I'm bummed but not sad.  Since our inception, we've only missed the playoffs once and have already won the Cup, so I'm not going to take it too hard.  Just hate losing to a team like Edmonton.

And since I'm in a crabby mood, I'll continue on with my whiny points and end on something happier.  Deal?  Deal.  Okay.

Last Friday, May 9th, would have been Troy's 51st birthday.  Which was sad, but it didn't drag me down like it used to either.  On Mother's Day, my mom HAS to bring it up.  Every GD time.  I think she wants me to know that she hasn't forgotten him, which I get, but he was part of her life for as long as he was part of mine, I know she's not going to forget.  We don't need to sit there on a happy holiday and get mauldin over it.  And maybe that makes me an asshole, IDK, but I've finally come to terms with his loss.  I wish she could, too.

To add to the Mother's Day drama, mom asked about my upcoming road trip, which is fine.  I was happy to talk about it.  My brother starts asking questions and then brags about how his last road trip (NV to TN) was over 1k miles.  Ooohkaay.  I told him that we weren't going to be doing that because we didn't want to drive more than 5 or 6 hours a day, for various reasons.  He gets ANGRY and tells me what we can't do that, we'll limit our trip.  I'm astounded.  We're not doing this to see how many miles we can log or how many things we can do, we're doing this so neither of us commit homicide at work.  🤣  I finally explain that this trip is for us to relax, not hit every point of interest in the southwest.

THEN good god, my stepfather has to put in his 2 cents and insists we have to visit Santa Fe (as part of our tenative plans involved New Mexico).  I said it wasn't on our itenerary (although I would love to visit) and he keeps insisting.  I tell him, exasperated, it's in the wrong direction and that we'd have to go out of our way.  He eventually gives up and walks away.  Like what the hell is it with the men in my family?  Note: my stepfather is my brother's biological father, so that might have something to do with it.

The funniest part was my sister's husband sat there just, looking from me to my brother to my stepfather with this 'what the hell' look on his face.

Yesterday, I'm sitting here at work and my cell rings.  I glance at it and see a name I haven't seen in a while.  It was the wife of Troy's former boss.  I've known her for over 20 years, so it isn't unusual for her to call, but she doesn't do it often.  Everything starts out fine, but halfway through the conversation, she starts going off on how if Troy had only taken care of himself, he'd still be here.  While she's not wrong - he was diabetic and did nothing to control his blood sugar - I really don't want to hear it.  I lived this shit, you know?  But she went on about it for a good 15 minutes before I told her I needed to get back to work.

It's apparently the month for people to make me crazy about things I have zero control over I guess.

Okay, so enough of all that.  On to something positive!

I really do not have a green thumb.  I usually kill whatever I'm trying to grow.  With the exception of my Chinese money tree, that the boys murdered in cold blood.  BUT!  I have been having some success with my castoffs.  Lowe's (and likely other places with a garden center) has a clearance rack where they put the half dead things that they can't sell for full price.  So, the last few times I've been there, I've grabbed a couple of different things for $2 and $4.  Figuring, if I can't make it work, I'm not breaking the bank.  Two of my misfits aren't doing very well, but the other two are really hanging in there.



This is a columbine.  I'd never seen them before so I was really surprised when it bloomed.  How pretty is that flower?



And these are my dramatic petunias.  The first day it got 'hot' (and I put it that way because it has not yet begun to really get hot here), they drooped and shriveled.  I thought that I'd killed them, but watered them anyway.  Half an hour later, they'd perked up and I swear I could hear them snickering.  Hahaha.  This photo wasn't supposed to be so artsy and dramatique, but it was 6:30 AM and the Vegas sun was RIGHT THERE, so I was taking a picture unalbe to see the actual plant.  So, yeah.  DRAMA!

Other things I'm growing right now: Tomatoes!  I have a plant I bought at Lowes plus several seedlings that survived the cats and are now thriving outside.  I have a strawberry plant that I also grabbed at Lowes.  It's doing well, but I'm not really getting any strawberries yet.  And because Lowes has become a dangerous place for me, I also have a Spicy Jane pepper plant that has sooooo many flowers right now.  I can't wait for fresh peppers and tomatoes!  Lastly, I have some sweet peppers and some four o'clocks that I grew from seed as well.  One of my four o'clocks looks like it's got a flower bud on it, so I'm excited to see if it blooms soon. I need to repot the tomato and pepper seedlings (and the basil I forgot to mention) this weekend.  I ought to take some pics so you can see the jungle I've got going. 

I think that's it for now.  I ought to make a cat post here soon, too, but I'll wait until this afternoon or maybe tomorrow.  I don't want to blow up anyone's feeds/inboxes.  More than I already have today, that is. 

Comments

[kaige68.livejournal.com]

I have so much to say... OH SO MUCH...

And maybe that makes me an asshole, IDK, but I've finally come to terms with his loss. I wish she could, too. My first thought is, have you said this out loud to your mother? Maybe she's trying to bring you down, but maybe she's trying to be helpful. But I do think that if you can manage to say it out loud she might rein it in.

we're doing this so neither of us commit homicide at work. Why women live longer. I barked out loud laughing and cannot explain it to the people around me!!!

My first thought about Santa Fe is that we can go next time. We've road-tripped well on a simple trip, we are planning the next trip after this, there is no reason to not think there will be more beyond that. ALSO — I'm from Massachusetts, what if my 5th day in the desert is enough? And too, I think this is why women live longer. Because we genuinely need to be together, studies show that chick trips make you better adjusted, and because we don't need to turn a vacation into a competition!

We should come up with a wonderful tale of things we did that were magical because we didn't make it to Santa Fe. I did laugh about your B-i-L.

YAY Plants!!

YAY PLANTS!

[asphaltcowgrrl.livejournal.com]

Hahaha — I knew you might!

Death and grieving are not something you can talk to my mother about. I don't know if it's her generation, or if it's her upbringing, or what, but she kind of works herself into a fit for days before an anniversary. She still calls to remind me that my father died on this date and it's been nearly 30 years now. I don't think she's trying to bring me down, but I really suspect that she has zero coping skills to handle her own grief. But I do appreciate your perspective, I will ask my sister about this!

I'm do glad you got a laugh out of that. And I can't imagine you trying to explain it to anyone. Even your boss who would get it.

That was exactly my thought, too. It's not going anywhere and I'm pretty sure I'm stuck here for the rest of my mortal existence. Maddie and I were talking about that the other night. We've already hit 99 in May, June could be brutal (and Arizona tends to be hotter than Nevada). I told Maddie that you might set one foot outside the airport, change your mind, and head back home.

You could be onto something there. We did bitch a lot, but we also just co-existed in each others' space and enjoyed simply being. It was a flux of 'let's do something!' and 'hey, how about another episode of Crash Landing On You?' and both were good and important. Lord, my brother will turn anything into a competition given half a chance.

Yes, lets! Not that either of them would listen for more than a few seconds anyway. Hahaha — my BIL is a gem. He's not perfect, but he's a sight better than my brother or stepfather.

WOOHOO! I haven't killed them yet!

[shanachie-quill.livejournal.com]

I don't even know where to start with all of this! Yay plants! That actually sounds like a lot of fun. Not sure if I would be able to keep things alive if they were already half-dead though. I also bough strawberries with the intention to plant them (they are still in the bag). My sister said that normally you don't get berries the first year.

Oi to your mother. I don't know what to tell you other than I'm sorry. I'm sorry she doesn't know how to grieve. I'm sorry that she brings you down. I hope you're okay after dealing with her.

Your road trip sounds fantastic! I hope you have the best time. I wish I could just travel with a friend sometimes. But not at the moment. (A friend and I are hoping for our 50th, but we won't travel together...)

[asphaltcowgrrl.livejournal.com]

Thanks, I'm really happy with the plant situation. I had a second flower on the plant in the first picture this morning, too. Hahaha — I felt the same way, but I've been doing well with them. Oh, interesting. I'll keep that in mind when I'm whining because I have no strawberries. LOL

Yanno, she means well, but she doesn't always think things through. She didn't bring me down, but she really wasn't inspiring joy in me either. LOL And I am, thank you for asking. I have to just stay positive because she's 79 now and I might not have her too much longer, either, so I don't want to be angry with her.

I think it's going to be a lot of fun so thank you! If it's any consolation, Kaige is flying across the country to get in a car and drive all over the desert with me. LOL My trip to NY and Montreal was a sort of pre-50th for me, since it was 3 months before my birthday. So, I hope you and your friend are able to do the same.

[shanachie-quill.livejournal.com]

So much fun! Glad you're doing well with plants. I need to plant my strawberries and maybe a few other vegetables. I'm not sure how involved I want to get though because I'm hoping to clean up some of our backyard.

I can understand that. I'm glad you're staying positive and although it isn't inspiring joy, you aren't letting it get to you too much. I think talking it out with friends will also help. I totally understand that, the might not having her much longer. Mom is almost 78 and I'm hoping to have her for 20 more years, but who knows.

I hope it is so much fun! I wish my best friend (also my sister) could do that, but she's got two young kids. So I'm going up to visit them for a few days (spur of the moment decision). I hope we're able to do it. Making the plans already... although it's 2 and a half years away.

[asphaltcowgrrl.livejournal.com]

Honestly, I'm shocked I'm doing so well with the plants. LOL Good luck with the backyard as a whole!

It's all I can do, you know? And I only see my family a couple times a year, so it's easier to let things go. Kinda glad I'll have an excuse not to show up for Father's Day (I'll have just gotten back from my trip the day before). I hear you. I lost Troy when he was only 45, I had planned on many more years than that.

I'm sure it will be. I hope you're able to get up to visit her and have some fun.

[thatwasjustadream (from livejournal.com)]

Oh, girl. You not only have every right to be on your last nerve about all of that at the top. I'd have needed a safe place to have a good, loud scream about it all. Geeeze.

The mom convo and the boss' wife are tough ones, 'cause it's more about how they see the world than anything. Getting out of the convo is about all there is to do, I guess. As for the travel advice — well, there are family members I'm learning not to overshare with. I'd ask the boasting brother what his favorite experiences were, and never get into any more of my details. I'd tell the step, 'hmm, Santa Fe, good point, I'll have to talk with my friend about that.'

I say it like it's obvious — but I'm only learning at my age who to avoid engaging with any more than absolutely necessary.

This week's drama here is my niece's graduation from her masters program. Very happy for her, of course. It's been a long five years for her, and she should be proud. She also has a gig she has already started, so good on her! But my 86-year-old mom didn't want to go to ceremony #1 because, well, she's frigging old and frail! Sitting in an auditorium full of grads and their screaming, cheering loved ones was not good for her at all. She went from doing okay, to uncomfortable, to being in pain. To my sister's credit, she did procure a wheelchair for her and scoped out a good route to minimize the difficulties, but... it was NOT something mom should have been hounded into. She let my domineering sis override all objections by suggesting it was about not wanting to celebrate her daughter.

Yeah.

And tomorrow is ceremony #2 and a party. Yay?

The columbine flower is beautiful! and I love petunias, except for the deadheadding. But they're really lovely purple.

I'll have to do a garden update. Lots planted. Some of the things I planted from seed took forever this year, but are starting to grow. And I stocked up at the garden store this weekend. Looove spring! Such a great time of year.

[asphaltcowgrrl.livejournal.com]

Thank you! If it wasn't for my sister, I probably would have gone outside and done just that!

Exactly. And they're both good people at their cores, so it's hard to not be rude, you know? Hahaha — my stepfather is one that I rarely share anything with. I didn't expect my brother to tell me I was vacationing wrong. Oooh, I wish I'd have thought of that. Legitimately, the only thing he told me about his trip was how he liked sitting on the porch having his coffee every morning. Not even anything about his cousin!

I'm right there with you. I'm a very friendly person and it's sometimes hard to shut my mouth, even when I know better.

Oh your poor mom, I hope she's feeling better now. Sucks that your sister guilted her into going because that's something as an adult you say, "Okay, mom/grandma, I wish you could come and I'll miss you, but I understand."

Hopefully ceremony #2 went better!

Thanks, I'd never seen one before I bought this plant and I think they're my new favorite flower. Yes, I love petunias, too. These are real troopers with our heat. They're just worshipping the sun and living their little lives.

I'd love to see pics when you get a chance. I hope to start some herbs later this summer (indoors) and get them outside once it starts 'cooling off' in like... October? LOL

[haldoor.livejournal.com]

Oh wow to your brother & stepdad! I know you & K will have an awesome trip! It's about the journey, the company & the time away from work, not the miles done! Oh, how I wish I could come! But NZ_2026 isn't far away now!

Yay for beautiful gardens! Love the pics!