Well, Damn the NZ Police Anyway {a post for my pal H}

[asphaltcowgrrl]

About a million years ago, I started reading this book called The Laughing Policeman: My Brillian Career in the New Zealand Police by Glenn Wood.  Even though it's taking me forever to finish it, this has been one of the funniest books I've read in a long time.  For example:

Sergeant Edwards had more points than a starfish menage a trois.

I can't tell you how long I laughed after reading that little gem.  But what brought me here today was this:

Basically, bonking on duty was a no-no and against the law. If you were married, then rumpy-pumpy with anyone who wasn’t your wife should be avoided. Having it off with suspects was dodgy in the extreme and it was inadvisable to give a witness a quick shag. Knobbing your fellow officers also led to problems and probably concussion if they weren’t female.

This is where the 'damn' part comes in because, well, this is going to throw an afwul kink into all of Travis' plans for Wes from now on.  Hah.  But the fact that their instructor at the police academy found it necessary to point this out to their section is probably the funniest bit of all.  Also: the nod to 'knobbing' a fellow officer that wasn't female made my afternoon.  Just sayin'.

This last quote, however, I thought was rather right on the nose.  Although stated in a humorous manner, I've never seen it put quite so succintly.

The third P was Piss. Sergeant Edwards was talking about alcoholism and it was rife in the police. The life most officers live is like a cocktail - if I can use a drinking simile and I believe I may. Work as a police officer is made up of two parts stress to one part responsibility. Blend that with macho pressure, then add a dash of temptation, and you’ve got a very dangerous mix indeed.

I couldn't ever cut it in law enforcement.  Ever.

Haldoor, you have got to read this book if you get a chance.  I'm sure that, knowing the lay of the land, so to speak, would only make it funnier.  Oh, and have you had a chance to ask about the crayon yet?  *grin*

Comments

[haldoor.livejournal.com]

I really must read this! And you know, I am so hopeless I've forgotten what the crayon thing was. I know I'll kick myself when you tell me, but do remind me...

[asphaltcowgrrl.livejournal.com]

I hit the 60% mark this morning and I just keep laughing and laughing.

In your defense, it's been awhile since that original post, but the quote said something about one of the required things a NZ PO must have on them is a crayon... LOL

[haldoor.livejournal.com]

Cool!

Ah yes, now I remember. I keep forgetting to ask the ex-cops at work!

[asphaltcowgrrl.livejournal.com]

I CAN'T WAIT. :) I'd love to know how true that really is.

[haldoor.livejournal.com]

I was so going to ask one of them today! And then someone commandeered her, I got distracted and then never did! I shall persevere, though. *is determined*

[asphaltcowgrrl.livejournal.com]

I await your update... and hopefully she doesn't think you've gone round the bend for asking. :)

[haldoor.livejournal.com]

HA! She was very good actually. Apparently they didn't actually carry it as such, but all cars had an 'accident kit', one of the items in it being a crayon (for road marking)! Nowadays they use a spray paint, but yeah, I guess it was so it wouldn't wash off if it rained... so, does that make sense? (I guess it's probably spoiled the mystery, actually!) ;-)

[asphaltcowgrrl.livejournal.com]

Ah-hah! Now, that actually makes perfect sense although I'm still amused by it. :) She's obviously a good sport and that's a beautiful thing. :)