Dear Scumbag + A Note

[asphaltcowgrrl]

So, I go into my boss' office, which he shares with a co-worker and say, "Call Juan, Ralph."  My smartass co-worker says, "But if I call Juan 'Ralph' he won't answer."  Har, har asshole.  So, being the person I am, I say, "There's a COMMA in there.  Call Juan comma Ralph."

Which led me to say, "This is why we can't get rid of the Oxford comma!"

Annnnnd... since I work in a construction office, that led me to explain the Oxford comma to my boss and co-workers.  When I'm done, my second co-worker says, "You ever think of writing?"  Once I stopped laughing... I went to work on this.

Kaigie's flash challenge:

Dear Scumbag,

I’ve made a list of all the ways you’ve done me wrong and trust me, I’ve been checking it twice. Starting today, I’m banding together with my brain, my soul and what’s left of my heart and we’re coming for you.  Its revenge time, sweetheart and you just might want to watch your back. 

Keep those thieving evilbots locked away or let them infect someone else’s good will with their affection sucking virus.  Just keep them away from me.  There is nothing you can say, no come-back good enough to ever weasel your way back into my good graces ever again. 

Love,
Murphy

Ethan blinked at the paper and re-read its contents, not quite believing his eyes.  “Travis?  Could you come here please?”

Tousle-haired and sleepy, Travis emerged from their shared bedroom and stumbled into his writing cave.  “Yeah?”

“Want to explain this?”  Ethan’s face was calm, unreadable, but his green eyes were worried.

Squinting, Travis took the paper out of his lover’s hand, read it, and read it again.  A chuckle rose from the depths of his belly and turned into a full-fledged guffaw by the time he was finished.  “This?  Oh, this is nothing, baby.”  He chuckled again, crumpling the paper and tossing it into the trash.

“So… if it was nothing, why did you write it?”  The normally unshakable Ethan McDowell had to admit, he was shaken.

“Oh, OH.”  Travis shook his head.  “You think this is to you?  No.  Not even close.”

“Then who?”  Ethan’s heart rate was slowing finally, but he was still confused.

Travis blushes and makes a face.  “I was breaking up with the Internet.”

It’s Ethan’s turn to laugh. “You what?”

“I broke up with the internet,” Travis repeats, running a hand through his already cowlicky hair.  “It’s a goddamned time suck and I had to kick it to the curb.”

“Ah.  Writer’s block problems again?”

“Maybe,” Travis mumbled.

“Well, then you’ll be happy to hear I bought Twizzlers when I was at the store.  They were on sale.”  Ethan knew they were Travis’ poison of choice for when he was struggling.

“Aw, you really do love me, don’t you?”  Those big blue eyes, the only physical indication of Travis’ Irish heritage, sparkled with excitement and a slight sugar jonesing.

“Of course, I do, Murphy.  You’re my sole source of entertainment in this god forsaken backwoods town.”

xx

I really should be working...

Comments

[peppermint-wow.livejournal.com]

LOL! Gotta love a good smartass. ;)

Aw, this story is lovely! That letter was super grumps - if I'd found it I'd have totally been concerned for my safety, hehe. I'm glad that it was the internet Travis was pissed at, though. Ethan and I breathed a collective sigh of relief. :DDD

Aw, Travis shares your poison of choice! Y'all and your Twizzlers. Well, if I come across any you're welcome to my share. :D

[asphaltcowgrrl.livejournal.com]

Eh... he has his moments. LOL

Thank you! Travis has a habit of leaving his *work* all over the house and giving Ethan a heart attack over it all. It's one more peril of living with a writer. :D

Ohhh... Travis shares more than a few quirks with me. But please do... it's all my mother's fault, but I freaking love the dumb things. Anytime one of my friends comes to visit, they arrive with a bag of Twizzlers. :D

[peppermint-wow.livejournal.com]

Hehe, in that case I hope we get to see more of Travis giving Ethan a heart attack. :D *pets Ethan*

LOL! Well, if my next show brings me out west I'll have to remember to be armed with a big ole bag of Twizzlers. ;)

[asphaltcowgrrl.livejournal.com]

ROFL! I hope so. Travis is an instigator for sure.

YES. That would be awesome.

And I love your icon. Pooh is a favorite of mine. :)

[peppermint-wow.livejournal.com]

Instigator FTW!!! I knew there was a reason I loved Travis. XD

Aw, thanks! I love Pooh too. He was my sister's favorite critter when she was little. Though she didn't call him Pooh - she called him Cuhn-Cuhn. Eh, kids. I'm sure it sounded just like "Pooh" in her head. ;)

[asphaltcowgrrl.livejournal.com]

Oh yes, he's quite incorrigible. :) But I like him that way. :D

HAH. It's funny the things kids call stuff because you're right - it makes perfect sense to them. :)

[skyesurfer12.livejournal.com]

Gotta love your co-workers. 'Oh, who me? A writer?' *flutters her eyes demurely and she swishes out of the office holding her bag of Twizzlers and an Oxford comma or two*

You really are Travis, aren't you? :)

[asphaltcowgrrl.livejournal.com]

This is the construction industry at it's finest. :D I'm telling you though, that is one thing I do not discuss because none of them are readers, you know? So, to hear that come out of that little blond's mouth almost knocked me for a loop.

HAHAHAHA. I told you. :D I'm just not half as cute or charming as Murph is.