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asphaltcowgrrlTitle: Blind Dates Suck
Fandom: Original Fic
Pairing: Unnamed narrator/Chester
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 475
Summary: Blind dates can suck, but this is one for the record books.
Author's note: Written in February 2009. Holy hell has my writing improved. Hah. Also, the last bit was based on an actual event. It was what spurred this fic in the first place. I'll explain more at the end.![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
kaige68, this is for you.
So, I knew better, but I said yes anyway. I really knew I should have just said no thank you and left it at that, but my friend Abbey, well, she worries about me. And she has real issues with taking ‘no’ for an answer.
That’s how I wound up here, at Pedro’s, sitting across from this really cute, if short and squat man named Chester. Now, like I said, Chester was really cute, in an ‘I wanna take him home and take care of him’ sort of way. And he did have this gorgeous, amber hair. Too bad it covered his entire body. I had begun to wonder if he was a werewolf or something.
But he was charming and, sadly, Abbey was right – I was lonely. That said, what came next won’t surprise anyone. Yeah, I did it. I went home with him. I don’t know what I was thinking but maybe it was the light of the nearly-full moon shining down from above or maybe it was Friday the 13th staring me down. Whatever. I’ll never know just why, but I can’t say I’ll ever forget how it all ended.
Despite being vertically challenged and a tad bit tubby, he turned out to be a good kisser and an even better lover. I know, I was shocked too. But that’s not the biggest shock of the night, oh not even close.
I drifted off to sleep, content and sated. He’d covered me with a blanket and a kiss good night. I could feel the bed sink with his added weight as he climbed in beside me. When he snuggled up beside me, I didn’t have the heart to tell him to back off.
Until I woke up.
The moon had obviously turned completely full sometime after we’d fallen asleep because, when I awoke, I thought I was hallucinating. I cracked one eye and something small and fuzzy was curled up on the pillow just by my face. I closed my eyes again, thinking I was dreaming when they suddenly snapped back open of their own accord. There was a mouse on my pillow!
So, I did what any other self-respecting woman would do. I screamed.
And the mouse – which I suddenly realized was not a mouse at all, but a hamster – ran like the wind. I looked around the room for Chester, praying for a savior of any sort when a second realization hit me.
The hamster had had beautiful amber fur.
No freaking way.
And now my date is hiding under the refrigerator. I just hope he comes out before the sun rises or he’ll not be a very happy hamster, if you know what I mean. Guess I ought to go back to shaking the Cheerios until I can entice him out again.
See, this is why I don’t date.
xx
End note: I had this adorable, brown and white hamster who liked to get out of his cage and go roaming. Apprantly, he didn't seem to care that there were THREE (obviously stupid) cats in the house, because he kept doing it. One morning, he decided to take up residence under the refrigerator. I sat there for half an hour, shaking a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios (his favorite treat) until his belly overrode his brain and he came waddling out.
Fandom: Original Fic
Pairing: Unnamed narrator/Chester
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 475
Summary: Blind dates can suck, but this is one for the record books.
Author's note: Written in February 2009. Holy hell has my writing improved. Hah. Also, the last bit was based on an actual event. It was what spurred this fic in the first place. I'll explain more at the end.
kaige68, this is for you.So, I knew better, but I said yes anyway. I really knew I should have just said no thank you and left it at that, but my friend Abbey, well, she worries about me. And she has real issues with taking ‘no’ for an answer.
That’s how I wound up here, at Pedro’s, sitting across from this really cute, if short and squat man named Chester. Now, like I said, Chester was really cute, in an ‘I wanna take him home and take care of him’ sort of way. And he did have this gorgeous, amber hair. Too bad it covered his entire body. I had begun to wonder if he was a werewolf or something.
But he was charming and, sadly, Abbey was right – I was lonely. That said, what came next won’t surprise anyone. Yeah, I did it. I went home with him. I don’t know what I was thinking but maybe it was the light of the nearly-full moon shining down from above or maybe it was Friday the 13th staring me down. Whatever. I’ll never know just why, but I can’t say I’ll ever forget how it all ended.
Despite being vertically challenged and a tad bit tubby, he turned out to be a good kisser and an even better lover. I know, I was shocked too. But that’s not the biggest shock of the night, oh not even close.
I drifted off to sleep, content and sated. He’d covered me with a blanket and a kiss good night. I could feel the bed sink with his added weight as he climbed in beside me. When he snuggled up beside me, I didn’t have the heart to tell him to back off.
Until I woke up.
The moon had obviously turned completely full sometime after we’d fallen asleep because, when I awoke, I thought I was hallucinating. I cracked one eye and something small and fuzzy was curled up on the pillow just by my face. I closed my eyes again, thinking I was dreaming when they suddenly snapped back open of their own accord. There was a mouse on my pillow!
So, I did what any other self-respecting woman would do. I screamed.
And the mouse – which I suddenly realized was not a mouse at all, but a hamster – ran like the wind. I looked around the room for Chester, praying for a savior of any sort when a second realization hit me.
The hamster had had beautiful amber fur.
No freaking way.
And now my date is hiding under the refrigerator. I just hope he comes out before the sun rises or he’ll not be a very happy hamster, if you know what I mean. Guess I ought to go back to shaking the Cheerios until I can entice him out again.
See, this is why I don’t date.
xx
End note: I had this adorable, brown and white hamster who liked to get out of his cage and go roaming. Apprantly, he didn't seem to care that there were THREE (obviously stupid) cats in the house, because he kept doing it. One morning, he decided to take up residence under the refrigerator. I sat there for half an hour, shaking a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios (his favorite treat) until his belly overrode his brain and he came waddling out.
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Date: 2014-11-06 04:55 pm (UTC)LOVE LOVE LOVE!!!! HAHAHAHA
Cannot stop giggling!
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Date: 2014-11-06 05:36 pm (UTC)WOOHOO for giggles!