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asphaltcowgrrlTitle: Mickey Haller, Vampire Attorney
Fandom: The Lincoln Lawyer Vampire AU
Pairing: Mickey Haller + Lorna Taylor
Rating: Stupid AF
Word Count: 394
Summary: Mickey, a vampire who is also a defense attorney, takes over the cases of his late friend, who was the attorney to the dead.
Author’s Note: Written for the numbers challenge at 1_million_words. The prompt was 399. This is all Kaige’s fault. She is an enabler of my worst ideas.
“Lorna,” Mickey sighed, running his tongue over the tips of his extended fangs. “How many client files do I still have to go through?”
“Three ninety-nine,” she said, looking up from the pile she’d just neatly stacked on his desk. “Put your fangs away. They mess with that sexy voice of yours. Makes it less accent, more lisp.”
“Are lisps not attractive?”
She shrugged. “They can be, but not in this case.”
He focused on what she’d just told him, hoping that’d make the damn things give up and retract. Then it hit him. “Wait, how many files did you say we have?”
“Three ninety-nine,” she repeated.
“Three hundred?” His voice trailed off. He’d kill Jerry if he wasn’t already dead.
“And ninety-nine,” she added, trying not to grin at the desperate look on his face. “I guess it’s a good thing you don’t sleep.”
“And eternity to get through them, I suppose.”
Lorna shrugged.
Mickey sighed. “And the judge?”
“Willing to send it to night court.”
“Great,” Mickey grumbled. “As if I don’t have enough working against me.”
“Can’t imagine how tough it must be, being attorney to the dead.” A laugh bubbled up and escaped her. “Might want to get those ads off the bus benches and put them somewhere your clients might actually see them.”
“Don’t say it.”
“Like on the back of a hearse.”
“I asked you not to say it.” He lifted his eyes heavenward, as if the man upstairs would have anything to do with him now. “Is there anything else?”
“Just left you a bottle of wine,” she made air quotes around the words, “in the refrigerator for later. If you don’t need anything else?”
“Go,” he said, waving her towards the door. It was hard to stay mad at her when she worked so hard to keep him in business despite his current affliction. That and her constant reminder to not use his hypnotic abilities on clients, witnesses, or judges. “Have a good night.”
She gave him a little wave as she exited leaving him alone with the piles of client files. Mickey looked at them and groaned. Even with being immortal, there was no way he was ever getting through all these.
“Fucking vampires and their disregard for the law,” he muttered, grabbing the first file he saw and opening it up on his desk.
Fandom: The Lincoln Lawyer Vampire AU
Pairing: Mickey Haller + Lorna Taylor
Rating: Stupid AF
Word Count: 394
Summary: Mickey, a vampire who is also a defense attorney, takes over the cases of his late friend, who was the attorney to the dead.
Author’s Note: Written for the numbers challenge at 1_million_words. The prompt was 399. This is all Kaige’s fault. She is an enabler of my worst ideas.
“Lorna,” Mickey sighed, running his tongue over the tips of his extended fangs. “How many client files do I still have to go through?”
“Three ninety-nine,” she said, looking up from the pile she’d just neatly stacked on his desk. “Put your fangs away. They mess with that sexy voice of yours. Makes it less accent, more lisp.”
“Are lisps not attractive?”
She shrugged. “They can be, but not in this case.”
He focused on what she’d just told him, hoping that’d make the damn things give up and retract. Then it hit him. “Wait, how many files did you say we have?”
“Three ninety-nine,” she repeated.
“Three hundred?” His voice trailed off. He’d kill Jerry if he wasn’t already dead.
“And ninety-nine,” she added, trying not to grin at the desperate look on his face. “I guess it’s a good thing you don’t sleep.”
“And eternity to get through them, I suppose.”
Lorna shrugged.
Mickey sighed. “And the judge?”
“Willing to send it to night court.”
“Great,” Mickey grumbled. “As if I don’t have enough working against me.”
“Can’t imagine how tough it must be, being attorney to the dead.” A laugh bubbled up and escaped her. “Might want to get those ads off the bus benches and put them somewhere your clients might actually see them.”
“Don’t say it.”
“Like on the back of a hearse.”
“I asked you not to say it.” He lifted his eyes heavenward, as if the man upstairs would have anything to do with him now. “Is there anything else?”
“Just left you a bottle of wine,” she made air quotes around the words, “in the refrigerator for later. If you don’t need anything else?”
“Go,” he said, waving her towards the door. It was hard to stay mad at her when she worked so hard to keep him in business despite his current affliction. That and her constant reminder to not use his hypnotic abilities on clients, witnesses, or judges. “Have a good night.”
She gave him a little wave as she exited leaving him alone with the piles of client files. Mickey looked at them and groaned. Even with being immortal, there was no way he was ever getting through all these.
“Fucking vampires and their disregard for the law,” he muttered, grabbing the first file he saw and opening it up on his desk.
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no subject
Date: 2022-05-24 10:39 pm (UTC)Rewatch for research. Sounds good to me.
no subject
Date: 2022-05-24 10:48 pm (UTC)Heh. :D Might actually start on Bosch here to tide me over.